Gordon Ramsay will never, ever, ever eat on a plane

If there are any words of advice to heed from Gordon Ramsay, let this be it.

The iconic chef sat down with Refinery29 to talk kitchen gadgets and dinners, but forget that -- we only learned one thing. Ramsay does not (we repeat, does NOT) eat on planes. Like, ever.

"There's no fucking way I eat on planes," he exclaimed to the publication. "I worked for airlines for ten years, so I know where this food's been and where it goes, and how long it took before it got on board."

If he was to catch a meal at the airport, he'd most likely grab something from his restaurant at Heathrow Airport called Plane Food (no pressure!).

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Here's what a safety demo doesn't say

We dim cabin lights at night so your eyes are adjusted to the dark if you need to find a way out. We put up tray tables at takeoff and landing so passengers next to you can escape if needed. And you should open your window shade, so if there's a crash, firefighters can see inside. Make sure you never do these 18 things on an airplane.

We're extremely stingy about fuel

It's expensive to carry because it's heavy, so keeping levels low saves us a lot of money. But it also means if there's rough weather or an unexpected delay, we're more likely to make an emergency landing because we're running out of gas. (These are things you can still get for free on an airplane.)

If your flight is overbooked...

... don't accept the first $200 voucher we offer. We typically keep increasing the offer until we have enough volunteers willing to give up their seats. If we don't get enough volunteers and have to bump you involuntarily, insist on cash compensation instead (many airlines will write you a check at the airport). Department of Transportation rules say you're entitled to as much as $1,300 in cash, depending on your ticket price and how long you are delayed. If your flight is overbooked, these are your rights as a passenger.

Booking a group trip?

Search for only one ticket at a time. If you search for, say, four tickets, and we have only three at the lowest fare, all four are bumped to a higher price bracket. Want to explore the beauty of the American West? Get more info about an amazing travel experience to America’s Cowboy Countryhere.

Our pilots can't eat together

Some airlines don't allow two pilots flying together to eat food from the same source within an hour of each other. Either they have to eat at different restaurants, or one waits at least an hour to make sure the other doesn't get poisoned or sick. These are secrets your airplane pilot isn't telling you.

Lost your luggage?

Don't delay reporting it, even if the lines to do so are long. Most of us require you to file a report within a very short time period. If you miss the deadline, your claim may be denied. This is what you should do next if your luggage is lost.

Our seats really are getting tinier

You're not imagining it. In the Boeing 777s used for long-haul international flights, we recently shrank the seats by one inch so we could fit an extra seat in each row. Try these tricks to sleep well on a airplane.

Sanitize, sanitize, sanitize

You don't want that pretzel you dropped on the tray table. Most airlines don't clean trays between flights. Before you touch anything, clean it with sanitizing wipes. These are 22 things your flight attendant won't tell you.

If your flight is cancelled...

... get in line at the ticket desk or the gate counter, but also get on the phone. You'll probably reach an airline phone agent before you get to the frazzled agent behind the desk. This is the most (and least!) delayed airline to fly with over the holidays.

We're not a fan of price-comparison websites

We pay a fee every time you book through price-comparison online sites like TripAdvisor and Orbitz, so we're making it harder for you to use them. Some airlines (Delta, Southwest) don't release fares at all to certain third-party sites.

There's a right time to switch seats

Check the seat map about four days (100 hours) before your flight. That's when we start upgrading fliers from coach to business and some of the best seats open up. This is the right way to get up from your seat without disturbing your neighbor.

We are totally disgusted when...

... we see you walking around barefoot on the plane. That carpet? Everything you can imagine has been spilled on it: vomit, milk, baby pee, and blood, to name a few.

Know what you're entitled to

If we cancel your flight, we will offer to put you on another one. But you should also know that even if you have a "nonrefundable" fare, we will give you your money back if you ask.

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Ramsay isn't the only chef to declare his aversion to airline food. Beloved chef Anthony Bourdain, too, has voiced his discontent for mile-high eating, saying, "No one has ever felt better after eating plane food."

He added, "I think people only eat it because they're bored. I don't eat on planes. I like to arrive hungry."

Airplane food has been known to have extremely high levels of sodium and preservatives. Not only does airplane food taste differently at a higher altitude, but your stomach ingests food differently while up in the air. Explained a flight attendant, it's best to "have something to eat a couple hours before getting on the plane, but otherwise, it's nothing but lots and lots of water."

But if you are absolutely famished, take a look at the best and worst airline food for you.

Note taken, Mr. Ramsay.

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Most bizarre things flight attendants have seen
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Poo smelly enough to land a plane

The BBC reports that in March 2015, a British Airways flight from London to Dubai was forced to turn around because of a "smelly poo."

Abhishek Sachdev, who was on board the flight, told BBC, "The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd. About 10 minutes later he said, 'You may have noticed there's a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.' He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used."

A BA spokesperson said the situation posed a health and safety problem because only half the air is recycled and cleaned on an airplane.

Passengers were put up in a hotel overnight since the next available flight was 15 hours later, according to the BBC.

Emotional-support marsupials

Toilet abuse

"A passenger stood on top of the closed toilet and defecated," a flight attendant with 30 years of experience told Business Insider.

Dangerously impatient passengers

In 2014, a passenger on a China Eastern Airlines plane who said he wanted to "get off the plane quicker" deployed the emergency slide after the aircraft landed at Sanya Phoenix International Airport.

The incident caused the aircraft to be delayed for two hours and reportedly cost about $16,000 in damage.

In April, a United Airlines flight attendant pulled the same stunt.

Exploding e-cigarettes

In March, a Delta Air Lines flight was delayed at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport after an e-cigarette belonging to a passenger ignited on board the flight.

While battery-powered portable electronic smoking devices are permitted on planes as long as they're not checked, the lithium ion batteries in e-cigarettes have shown a propensity to ignite if they are damaged.

Spiders on a plane
Strange item requests

A flight attendant with the pen name Betty writes in her online series "Confessions of a Fed-Up Flight Attendant" that the strangest things people have asked her for on planes are actually fairly ordinary items — what's surprising is what some of these items would be used for.

Items requested include tweezers for pulling thorns out of a passenger's butt; a pen to clean ears with; a screwdriver "to take the seat apart"; and a cup, lid, straw, and knife "to make a catheter."

Strange announcement requests

A flight attendant with three years of experience told Business Insider that she's gotten her fair share of strange announcement requests.

"One gentleman was angry, and he asked me if I could make an announcement over the PA. When I asked him what he wanted me to announce, he he said, 'somebody in this vicinity is passing gas, and I need them to stop,'" she said.

Another passenger asked her to make an announcement asking a neighboring passenger to give up the armrest.

Whatever this is 
Animals left on planes

More than 700 international cabin-crew members told Skyscanner in 2013 about items they found on flights after passengers disembarked.

Animals accounted for several of the more unusual items on the list, including a falcon, dried fish, a frog, a tortoise, and a parrot.

People who make soup with the airline water

In response to the Quora question "What are the weirdest things flight attendants have seen in their line of duty?" former flight attendant Heather Wilde said she's seen her fair share of things many people would consider weird.

Among the strangest were people who made soup using the airline water. "Guys, the water lines haven't ever been cleaned — ever," she said.

Flying pigs
Virtually undetectable turbulence

"One of the weirdest things I experienced was clear-air turbulence. I was bounced between the ceiling and the floor twice and broke my foot in two places when the bar cart landed on it," a flight attendant with 27 years of experience told Business Insider.

The worst place to put a baby
Uncomfortable 'cat-cidents'

"I know more than one fellow flight attendant who has had the uncomfortable situation of having to tell a woman that she can't breastfeed her ... cat! You read that right: Breastfeeding. A. Cat. And this isn't an isolated incident," Betty wrote.

She says the cat feeders' responses are always the same: "I'm just feeding my 'baby.'"

In-flight laundry
Unfortunate accidents

Betty writes that passengers tend to get more inebriated on flights to Las Vegas. In his drunken state, one passenger passed out while he was in the restroom, fell backward, and ended up on the floor with his fly still down and his privates exposed.

After much debate among the attendants about what to do, "they finally decided to get the long metal tongs that we use to serve bread in first class to move the exposed body part back into his pants! He didn't feel a thing," Betty wrote.

'Ambien zombies'

From streaking down the aisle totally nude to falling like an axed tree, when passengers consume an unfortunate mix of Ambien — which people take to sleep on planes — and airplane cocktails, it makes even the most normal people do very bizarre things, Betty says.

"These folks are sleeping, which means they think they are at home and safe in their beds. When they are home and safe in their beds they think it is perfectly acceptable to take off all of their clothes," Betty wrote.

Alas, this is not acceptable behavior on a long-haul international flight.

Pee hazards
A severe fear of flying

"I had a woman run to the front of the plane and throw herself in my closet. (She thought she was going to bathroom.) She then curled up in the fetal position in the closet and started sucking her thumb. She later told me that she forgot to take her anxiety medicine before flight," a flight attendant with 30 years of experience told Business Insider.

Balancing acts
States of undress

"One passenger attempted to board the plane wearing a raincoat and no pants," a flight attendant with 40 years of experience told Business Insider.

In-flight workouts
Sandwich thieves

"Never say never. Weirdness will always outdo itself if you challenge it," a flight attendant with 21 years of experience told Business Insider.

"For example, a passenger stole a sandwich off the galley counter. It was a crew member's, who bought it at the airport. They'd taken a bite and left it on the counter (with a little lipstick around the bite mark) to assist someone. When the crew member came back to the galley, it was gone.

"The crew member later found the thief eating it at their seat. When asked how they could just take a used sandwich with lipstick on it, they shrugged and said, 'I was hungry.'"

So many feet! 
A bloody mess

"I haven't seen this, but I did have flight attendants tell me about blood dripping from the overhead because someone was bringing in a goat's head from a Caribbean island. That was before TSA and all their security procedures were put in place, of course," Annette Long, a flight attendant with 13 years of experience, told Business Insider.

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