Yes, You Can Teach Yourself To Squirt During Sex—Here's How

"Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through these links."

You know how people blame Disney movies for giving people unrealistic expectations about love? Well, you can also blame porn for giving you unrealistic expectations about sex. As an example, if porn were any indication of people's everyday sex lives, we'd all be firing off liquid streams of erotic bliss at every climax. Sorry, but no.

That said, the elusive sex sensation that is squirting isn't entirely impossible. For some individuals, it does come naturally—and for others, it may be possible to learn. Meaning, yes, you can make yourself squirt during sex.

Keep in mind, though, that squirting in real life usually doesn’t look the way it does in porn. (Surprise, surprise.) “'Squirting' is a bit of a misnomer, as the fluid isn’t always expelled as a squirt," says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, a sexologist host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. "It might be a drip, dribble, or gush." Some people “can feel the liquid being pushed out, but in many cases, you don’t even notice it until you get up and see the wet spot beneath you,” O’Reilly adds.

What is squirting?

There’s still a lot of debate about what squirting actually is, but generally speaking, it’s a bodily fluid that’s expelled from the vagina during orgasm. Some people say that squirting orgasms feel more intense than other orgasms (but more on that in a moment!).

“There are two different camps on what experts believe is squirting,” says Wendasha Jenkins Hall, PhD, a sex educator and researcher based in Atlanta. “Some people say it is a fluid that’s collected in the bladder and released during times of orgasm; and some say that it’s actually being released from the Skene’s glands.” The Skene’s glands are two structures located near the end of urethra that can respond to G-spot stimulation, adds Madeleine Castellanos, MD, a psychiatrist and sex therapist based in New York.

The fluid itself can be “milky or clear,” and it can sometimes feel and look like you peed yourself, says Debra Laino, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and author of The Missing Link. The actual volume of fluid can vary, too.

How does squirting feel?

The short answer: for many people, it can feel pretty amazing. According to one 2013 study, nearly 80 percent of women who’ve experienced squirting said it improved their sex lives. “The urethra has all these nerve endings in it, as anybody who’s ever had a UTI can attest,” Dr. Castellanos explains. “It’s very sensitive. So when you get this rush of fluid going through, at the same time you’re having an orgasm or you’re getting sexual stimulation…that can be a very pleasurable experience.”

Compared to a clitoral orgasm, a squirting orgasm might feel more like an expulsion, adds Hall. “Many people who squirt during orgasm say that it’s a pleasurable feeling—however, it is a different feeling than what you would experience with a clitoral orgasm,” she says. “But when you’re squirting, you’re feeling that release of fluid, and that is a different sensation.”

Because some people release more fluids than others, though, how it actually feels might vary. Hall notes that it’s possible to squirt and not even realize it: “Some people might just think, ‘Oh, I just got really wet,’” she points out. “But it might also be a gushing sensation, and some people [feel as though] they’re peeing on themselves.”

It’s also possible to have a squirting orgasm and feel exactly the same as you do when you don’t squirt. “For some people, squirting adds to the orgasm, and for other people, it does nothing or it detracts from it,” adds Dr. Castellanos. “It’s not the same for everybody.”

Of course, you'll never know until you try. So, if you’re still curious about making yourself squirt, here's an expert-informed step-by-step guide to attempting your first time.

1. Get your bed ready... just in case.

With any kind of sexual activity, you're going to have to deal with some fluids—and squirting can get particularly messy.

So, Castellanos and Hall both recommend taking precautions if you're worried about over-saturating your sheets. A towel can work wonders here, or you can invest in an easy-to-clean blanket designed for sex, like the Liberator Throw.

2. Make sure you’re hydrated.

A quick caveat: This is more of a theory than a topic that's been well-researched, but hydration might help your chances of squirting during sex. "Some people say that hydration facilitates sexual response including orgasm and squirting, but this is anecdotal," O’Reilly says. Plus, generally speaking, "staying hydrated is good for your health, which can support sexual functioning."

There’s also this to consider, per Laino: "Dehydration can lead to more difficulty having an orgasm in general, and can even make sex painful." It can also make you feel lower-energy, which can impact your sex drive, she adds.

3. Give yourself time to get relaxed and aroused.

In order to have an orgasm in general, your body (and mind!) needs to be relaxed—but this tip is especially important if you're trying to squirt. Because squirting can sometimes feel like you're urinating, some people start to tense up once they're on the precipice, because they're worried they're about to pee, notes Hall. So, try your hardest to relax beforehand, and stay relaxed once an orgasm is imminent.

If you can't stop worrying about urination, though...

4. Pee ahead of time.

If you empty out your bladder before sex, you might feel more comfortable squirting, says Hall. After all, you can rest assured that your bodily fluids aren't pee.

But at the end of the day, try not to stress too much about the possibility of peeing. "And at the end of the day, who cares if there’s a little pee? Fluids happen when we’re having sex," Hall adds. Point taken!

5. Lie on your back.

If you're new to squirting, Hall recommends lying on your back as your masturbate (or during partnered sex) and spreading your legs. "I find that lying on your back is something that [works for] beginners," she says. This position is comfortable and offers lots of access to the clit.

That said, other people find that doggy style—which can allow for super-deep penetration, and prime G-spot stimulation—helps them squirt, Hall adds.

6. Find the G-spot.

For some people, simply finding and stimulating the G-spot (for an extended period of time!) can lead to squirting. The area is located inside the vagina along the front wall, and pushing a toy, finger, or penis against it can feel pleasurable.

"What [you’re] pushing on is actually erectile tissue that surrounds the urethra," Dr. Castellanos explains. "As you’re stroking that... you’re changing the angle of the urethra to the bladder, and it’s much easier for that fluid to be expelled." To improve your odds of squirting, relax the pelvic floor muscles as you stimulate the G-spot. You can also place a pillow under your pelvis to help a partner or toy reach that spot, adds Hall.

7. Use a dual stimulation toy.

For many people, blended orgasms—that is, orgasms that result from multiple types of stimulation—are the key to squirting. “When you have that clitoral stimulation and fullness in the vagina as well, that gives two different feelings at the same time,” says Hall.

If you're trying to squirt solo, you can use a rabbit vibe like the We-Vibe Nova, which "provides dual vibrating stimulation for the G-zone internally and the clitoral head and hood externally," says O'Reilly. She adds that it’s "adjustable, powerful, rumbly, and you can use it to rock in a pulsing motion."

8. Use a clit vibrator during partnered sex.

Another way to enjoy dual stimulation? Have your partner penetrate you with their penis or a dildo, while you hold a vibrator to your clit, suggests Hall. Pro tip: If you're struggling to hold a toy in place or your hands are otherwise occupied, there are also hands-free clit vibrators that are designed to stay in place during sex, like the Dame Eva.

9. Move things into the shower.

Some people find that they can have a squirting orgasm while standing up, says Hall. And the shower is a great place to have standing sex: you have multiple walls to lean or lift your leg against. Plus, “if you’re in the shower, you don’t have to worry about the mess,” Hall adds. This can be a great move for people who are particularly worried about fluids.

What if I can't squirt during sex?

Above all, "be compassionate with yourself if you don’t make yourself squirt," says Dr. Castellanos. "A lot of people think this is the pinnacle of orgasm... and if you haven’t done it, your orgasms are less-than. I don’t agree with that."

Keep in mind that everyone's bodies (and orgasms!) are different. “I think there’s a myth that if you can’t do it, that something is wrong with you,” Hall adds, but that's not true. “For some people, it may be easier to do it.” For instance, some people can orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, and others can't.

If you don't succeed the first time—or even after multiple attempts—it just means your body’s natural impulse is to keep anything from coming out of the urethra while you get busy, explains Dr. Castellanos. So just relax, enjoy the feelings, and if it happens, it happens.

Meet the experts:
Madeleine Castellanos, MD, is a psychiatrist and sex therapist based in New York. Jess O'Reilly, PhD is the host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. Debra Laino is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and the author of The Missing Link. Vanessa Marin, LMFT, is a sex therapist and author of Sex Talks. Wendasha Jenkins Hall, PhD, is a sex educator and researcher based in Atlanta.

You Might Also Like

• Jennifer Garner Swears By This Retinol Eye Cream

• These New Kicks Will Help You Smash Your Cross-Training Goals