Writers' Corner: How to spin with your friends

Last weekend I was the pianist and photographer at a wedding (not both simultaneously.) My daughter was the photographer while I played. She brought her family with her. At the reception, her youngest Raylynn had a ball. She made friends in about two seconds. They all started spinning together on the dance floor having a good time. Soon they traipsed over to a table, ate together, then went back to the dance floor where they all resumed spinning. My daughter and her family were ready to leave, but I intervened. “Raylynn’s having a ball,” I said. “She can spend the night with me.” Raylynn was called over, asked if she wanted to spend the night with Mimi, and responded positively. She went back to her friends, I hugged my daughter goodbye and went to take pictures of the bride and groom cutting the cake.

Later, the sister of the bride came over and told me a story. “I saw a kid I didn’t recognize on the dance floor. I asked the other kids who she was, and they said they didn’t know her name, but that her parents had hugged her goodbye and left. I made sure I heard right. You’re sure her parents left her?” I asked starting to panic. “They said they were sure. I asked around and found out her parents had left, but her grandma was still here,” she said with a laugh in her voice. I laughed with her and went to find my friend who was also the bride’s Grandma.

I found her at the punch table and we shared a laugh after I told her the story. She changed the subject. “You know,” she said in a conspirational tone, “I felt like I should have taken some ballroom lessons so my husband could spin me on the dance floor.” Having said this, she started to spin, but didn’t notice the bridesmaid standing right behind her. She bumped into her and almost knocked her down, which sent her emoty glass flying at the same time. I was ready to help, but thankfully, the bridesmaid managed to quickly right herself, and managed to make us laugh harder.

A while later, I sat by the dance floor and watching my granddaughter make her moves with her new friends. I thought back when I was a kid. It could be someplace like a sandbox, or a wedding. Your parents were off someplace else, and you were on your own. Let to your own resources, you ended up making new friends. They came up to you, or you went up to them, and someone said “Hi! Want to be my friend?” I don’t ever remember anyone ever saying “no.” We always ended up having fun. We needed no toys. We had our imaginations, and we had our new friends.

When we grow up, we think we get so much smarter. We do gain certain kinds of knowledge; we take tests and pass them. We get degrees, and acquire certain knowledge so we can obtain employment. We learn how to read and write so we can say things like “How to obtain employment.” We learn how to drive cars. Sometimes we learn how to help people, but sometimes we learn how to hurt them. We aim for wealth. Some people achieve. We set goals and find a certain satisfaction in reaching them. We do gain knowledge, of a certain kind that is. We lose certain things too. We lose the ability to take people just how they are. Not care about skin color, or how much your family is worth, or what your political bent is. We lose the option of just being, without concern what people would think. When we are kids, we can go up to other kids and say, “Hi want to be my friend?” When we were young we could say this without being self conscious. As I sat there I thought, “What would people think if I just started spinning around the dance floor until I fall down?” Then I thought about who would pick me up if I did fall down, and so I didn’t do it. I think my friends would pick me up, maybe after asking why I was spinning out of control. I might say to them, “Hey we’re friends. Let’s go to the dance floor and spin.”

As we get older, we gain knowledge, but we also lose. We lose the knowledge that children have, that given the choice, people usually want to be your friend. Maybe we have to lose that naivety to grow up. Maybe it’s impossible to keep. But when the chips are down, what we really need is to have true friends. These are people who like you for just you, not for what you have, what you own, or your status. True friends who are ready to pick us up when we fall down. Especially when we find we are spinning out of control.

Writer’s bio: Toni Meek has some very good friends, who have always picked her up.

Writer’s tip: Being a good friend helps you find true friends.

— The Sturgis Writers’ Mill is a community of writers who constructively encourage, support, and challenge each other as they discover their unique voices. Any opinion expressed is solely that of the author.

This article originally appeared on The Holland Sentinel: Writers' Corner: How to spin with your friends