Working Moms, It’s Going to Be a Long Summer

Let’s just call it the summer of relearning everything.

Hang on tight. Kids are a lot more resilient than I thought.

Courtesy Mita Mallick

“Mom! I can’t swim anymore! I don’t know how to swim!” My 8-year-old shouted at me, visibly frustrated.

He threw his goggles off, splashing around in a huff, and got out of the pool. He stomped away and sat alone on a nearby pool chair for a few minutes, defeated and angry. And that was exactly how I felt.

During Summer 2019, going to our building pool was actually fun. My kids started to swim pretty well and I could still convince them to keep on their puddle jumpers. I could sit by the edge of the pool reading, while keeping a watchful eye on them. I didn’t have to actually be in the pool with them.

Fast forward to Summer 2021. Our building pool finally reopened. We surprised the kids on a Saturday afternoon, “Kids, we are going to the pool!” They ran around in circles, slipped on their swimsuits and tried to find water shoes.

As we strolled into the pool area, I patted myself on the back for my multiple Mom Wins. I had managed to buy my kids new swimsuits since they seemed to grow out of everything faster than I could manage. I got sunscreen. We had found the goggles from last year. I had towels, Goldfish crackers and fruit snacks, plus water bottles in tow. I even brought my journal so I could scribble down thoughts as my kids played in the water. I told my husband he could join us later so he could have some alone time. I got this, I thought.

The pool excitement and my excitement over my multiple Mom Wins lasted for exactly eight minutes. My son jumped into the pool without warning, and then struggled to swim and gulped lots and lots of water. Both of them refused to wear any sort of swim vests, life jackets, or arm floaties. My daughter was afraid to jump in, was whining that I didn’t bring any pool toys, and had to go to the bathroom twice. My son’s goggles broke and my daughter refused to share her pair.

My kids clung to me in the pool. So much for sitting by the edge, relaxing and journaling with my hat and sunglasses on. One kid on the right, one kid on the left, as I tried to maneuver them around. Helping one swim to the other end, practicing backstrokes, and catching them as they jumped in. Mommy, Mom, Mommy. I was surrounded, being kicked at, splashed at, and being held onto like I was a mama koala. So much for my summer of relaxation.

These weren’t the relaxing pool moments of Summer 2019 I had held on to. My body was sore, my head achy, and my hair a chlorinated mess. I stared at a woman in a black bikini sporting a huge floppy hat scrolling away on her phone sitting happily, sprawled on a chair. I stared, wondering what it might be like to be her.

“MOM! I need you to help me swim to the stairs!”

Both of my kids had completely forgotten how to swim. Hours upon hours of lessons. Early weekend mornings when my husband would take them to their classes. Memories of them graduating to “Turtle 2” and “Minnow” classes. All wiped out, along with so many things, that they had unlearned in the last 15 months of the pandemic. Wasn’t swimming like riding a bike, I thought? Apparently, remembering the backstroke proved to be much more difficult than remembering how to balance and peddle.

About an hour in, my husband took over pool time and I sat on a chair and ate my kids’ Goldfish crackers. The kids started gulping less and less water, practiced blowing bubbles, kicking, and trying to slowly swim across the pool. Our neighbors’ daughter shared her toys and swimming boards with them.

As we wrapped up pool time, it ended much better than it began. It was another reminder for me that kids are much more resilient than adults. And as our lives started up again, the kids were remembering and rediscovering so many things we had left behind. Even the everyday moments we had never taken a moment to treasure pre-pandemic, like my kids knocking on our neighbors’ door to return the pool toys they had borrowed. They couldn't remember the last time they had knocked on someone’s door.

I will now add “failed swimming instructor” to my growing list of occupations I have been forced to inherit in this pandemic. This “failed swimming instructor” actually had an unexpected Mom Win at our pool outing. Trying to relearn swimming was the one thing that tired my kids out completely, both of them sleeping soundly the next day until 7 a.m. So dear pool, we’ll be back with our swimsuits, our Goldfish crackers and our new swimming boards, just as soon as we can.

Mita Mallick is the Head of Inclusion, Equity and Impact at Carta and loves living in Jersey City with her husband and two young kiddos.