'Untouchable' Indy drag performer dies by suicide. Here's what loved ones want you to know
If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, chat with them online via their website, or text HOME to 741741 (multiple languages available). If there is an emergency, call 911.
The Trevor Project is the leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ+ young people. Crisis counselors through The Trevor Project can be reached by calling 1-866-488-7386, texting START to 678-678 or via webchat.
The last time she saw her oldest child in person, Amy Nochebuena tried to help.
“Tristan refused so I just hugged them so tight and told them I loved them,” Nochebuena said. “I told Tristan I was here for them.”
Tristan Bustos was the star of their family, and the spotlight shined on them often during their 24 years of life. A well-known drag performer in Indianapolis, Bustos had been in shows at several downtown bars and was in every Indy Drag Theatre production since 2022.
Bustos had a big personality and a listening ear for others but struggled with and had been treated for depression and thoughts of suicide. Bustos asked their mother for a ride to a mental health hospital, but changed their mind by the time she arrived.
Nochebuena continued offering support to her child, but a few days later — on Jan. 5, 2024 — Bustos died by suicide.
As loved ones and fellow performers mourn, they hope Bustos’ death can raise awareness of suicide and mental health issues within the LGBTQ+ community.
“There's a tragedy behind it that people don't see because we are so used to this story, but we shouldn't be used to this story,” said Zach Hunnicutt, a friend of Bustos.
Data on how many LGBTQ+ people die by suicide each year in the U.S. is hard to come by as most death investigators do not collect information on sexuality or gender identity. But according to the Trevor Project, members of the LGBTQ+ community are found to be at a significantly increased risk for suicide because of how they are mistreated and stigmatized in society.
Young LGBTQ+ people are more than four times as likely to attempt suicide than their peers, according to the organization.
“Our relationships in our early childhood and teenage years are formed based on the fact that we all are holding onto a secret,” Hunnicutt said. “We all learn to isolate ourselves and be OK with it. That's what is hard for us to break free from."
Bustos ‘blossomed’ as drag performer Tristyn St. Clair
As Bustos’ No. 1 fan, Nochebuena remembers sitting in the front row for Bustos’ first drag performance at the University of Indianapolis a few years ago.
Eventually, Bustos found their footing and a community in performing drag.
“You could see how much Tristan had blossomed,” Nochebuena said. “From there, that was Tristan's world.”
Bustos’ love for performing started in middle school then took off at Perry Meridian High School. Nochebuena will never forget her oldest child’s high school performance in a production of "Beauty and the Beast."
Bustos was always interested in fashion and created several costumes for different performances. They also played the piano, keyboard, ukelele and guitar and wrote music.
When Bustos wasn’t performing, they worked as a manager at the Starbucks on Mass Ave in downtown Indianapolis.
"It wasn't always easy for Tristan, but I would tell my kids not to let anyone's opinions hold them back,” Nochebuena said. “Some people are envious, or they are miserable and want to bring you down. I told them not to let that destroy who they were inside because Tristan was a great person.”
More: From 211 to 988: Here's how to access the mental health support lines in Indiana.
When in drag, Bustos was known as Tristyn St. Clair and used she/her pronouns. Hunnicutt also performs drag and is known as Vera Vanderwoude St. Clair. The two performers were part of a drag family started by Blair St. Clair, who was a contestant on the TV show RuPaul's Drag Race.
"Something really unique about Tristyn was she was just so untouchable in her own way,” Hunnicutt said. “She was a great entertainer, so beautiful. She was all these things, but she was never mean, hateful or spiteful when it can be so competitive in drag.”
Hunnicut remembers meeting Tristyn St. Clair when they were both cast in an Indy Drag Theatre production of "The Little Mermaid." St. Clair was also in the theater’s renditions of "Chicago" and "Mean Girls."
When not performing, Bustos was often supporting others in the community.
“They just wanted to make friends and that's how they did their activism,” Hunnicutt said. “Tristan was helping people a little bit at a time. Tristan always was the supporter of the underdog.”
Bustos’ loved ones want to ‘shine a light’ on mental health issues
Bustos knew they had support from their mother and other loved ones — they even wrote that in a suicide letter — but they didn’t want to burden other people with their problems.
“Tristan kept their emotions to themself,” Nochebuena said.
A few days before Bustos died, their mother found out it had been about six months since Bustos had seen a counselor.
“Not being able to release (their emotions) to someone I'm sure was a struggle,” Nochebuena said.
In one of their final text messages, Bustos talked about getting through the upcoming weekend without letting other people know they were suffering from suicidal thoughts.
“I told them I can't live without you,” Nochebuena said. “I was still trying to get Tristan help and asking them to come stay with me.”
Two days before the suicide, Bustos texted their mother and said they were watching a movie in bed and looking at their work schedule for the following day.
“At that point I thought Tristan pulled out a little bit of how they was feeling,” Nochebuena said. “I thought they would get through the weekend then let me take them to the hospital.”
On the afternoon of Jan. 5, a friend of Bustos called Nochebuena. Bustos’ roommate found them in their home unconscious, and Bustos was pronounced dead a short time later.
Nochebuena hopes others, especially in the LGBTQ+ community, will take mental health issues more seriously after Bustos’ death.
"I want this to shine a light on mental health issues and suicide awareness and prevention,” Nochebuena said. “I hope this really opens people’s perspective, but it took such a tragedy."
For Hunnicutt, the lesson is that checking in on struggling loved ones isn’t enough.
“We always checked in on Tristan and they knew we were there for them,” Hunnicutt said. “It's about taking the next step, talking to them and making sure your friends and family are getting the treatment they need.”
Mental health resources for members of the Indianapolis LGBTQ+ community
Resources from The Trevor Project can be found at www.thetrevorproject.org.
Indy Pride has an online list of counseling and support groups, including those specifically for people who identify as transgender. Their website is indypride.org.
GenderNexus offers connections to LGBTQ+ friendly doctors, therapists and other resources. Their website is gendernexus.org.
Contact Jake Allen at jake.allen@indystar.com. Follow him on Twitter @Jake_Allen19.
This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Indy drag performer Tristyn St. Clair's death spotlights mental health
