It’s Time the U.S. Makes Postpartum Progression

Four weeks to heal from giving birth? Seriously?

Going back to work before you’re ready causes countless physical and emotional conditions in new moms.

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For as long as my mother was alive, I only saw her in one career. She was a daycare center director and played such a significant role in the lives of countless parents and their children. She helped develop babies to toddlers, and toddlers to preschoolers, that were more than ready for kindergarten and first grade. For over 40 years, I saw her help children, cultivate the staff that cared for those children, and pour into the parents that raised those children—honestly, mostly moms.

Another memory that sticks with me to this day is when she would tell me about women who would call to secure a slot for their newborn, 2-week-old babies. Two weeks old! That never left me. Even as a young girl, I knew that wasn’t a good thing. But the reality was, some moms had to save their vacation days for giving birth. They couldn’t go past that amount of time, because they couldn’t afford to be off work longer than that. (The absurdity of putting “vacation” and “childbirth” is not lost on me.)

It would break my heart now to hear my mother have that conversation. I could hear the anguish in her voice as she would say, “Baby, no! And you don’t need to be going back to work that soon, either! We accept babies at 6 weeks old.” Call it old school, but I was always advised by my own mother and grandmother to not even leave the house for six weeks after giving birth. And that advice wasn’t just to keep the baby away from people and germs, but to give my body adequate time to heal. I quickly learned that if you were able to not leave the house for six weeks, that was a logical approach, but it was also a luxury for most working moms.

That leads me to the proposal of the United States Congress of four weeks (down from President Biden’s 12) of maternity leave for a new baby arriving to a family—whether by birth or by adoption. It’s better than nothing, but it isn’t great. As I coach women globally, moms in other countries who receive six months to a year of paid leave cannot begin to wrap their heads around the idea that women in the US return to work after only six weeks, and some only two. At minimum, a woman who has given birth needs six weeks (which is a typical recovery time given for most invasive surgery) to rest and recover. But for some reason, when a woman births an entire human being, she isn’t handled with as much care as someone with a broken leg. This happens for a few reasons:

1. Post-Pregnancy Perception

There can be a reverse reaction as to how childbirth works because of how women are viewed during the process. As a woman’s pregnant belly starts to grow, she is perceived as more and more pregnant, the bigger she gets. Once she gives birth, people think that her journey is finally over—she is now, less and no longer pregnant, so things must be back to normal. But in reality, the hardest parts of her journey are just beginning.

2. Hidden Healing

Because the healing she needs to do is internal, emotional and psychological, the needed healing cannot be seen on the surface, therefore, it isn’t as obvious to others, and it’s harder for others to recognize and consider. It’s not like walking around with a cast or crutches. Although a woman may have not needed surgery to deliver her baby, she now has the pleasure of her uterus returning to its normal shape, which often happens with contraction-like sensations. The rest of her organs are likewise shifting back into place, after being pressured and shifted around during the growth of the baby. If she had to have an episiotomy—a surgical cut made at the opening of the vagina during delivery to prevent tearing because of the delivery of larger babies—the pain of that incision and subsequent stitches can be enough for you to need assistance to and from the bathroom, bathtub, or shower, for weeks. And if she did have surgery by the way of a C-Section, women can continue to feel the effects of that incision for 24 weeks. And that just covers the physical aspect of healing.

3. Superwoman Syndrome

In her 1984 book by the same name, Marjorie Hansen Shaevitz coined the phrase “Superwoman Syndrome.” This term suggests that women can and should be able to just do it all—no questions asked; all the housework, child rearing, meal cooking, career climbing, and (don’t forget!) fitting in self-care. Oh, and excel in all of it! This is an extremely unrealistic yet glorified expectation that is placed on new moms as well as seasoned ones.

4. The Candy and Wrapper Effect

During one of my coaching sessions, I asked a new mom how she was feeling—which is a different question from “How are you doing?” She replied, “Thanks for asking, because it seems that once the baby is born, it becomes more about the baby and less about the mom.” That describes the Candy Wrapper Effect. No matter how nicely wrapped a piece of candy is, once that wrapper comes off, it is discarded to get to the prize inside. Moms are often seen as the wrapper while the babies are the precious candy inside.

Without proper recovery time, women are forced to return to jobs that their bodies are not ready to handle, both physically and emotionally. This often leads to postpartum complications such as cardiovascular diseases, infection and sepsis, excessive bleeding, cardiomyopathy—a disease that impedes the flow of blood through the heart—and pulmonary embolism, which was suffered by Serena Williams days after childbirth, because her concerns were ignored, but I digress...

As a professional and executive Coach, I find such joy in helping moms navigate their pregnancies from start to finish. From preparing for leave to making their return, and everything in between, I’ve been there. I also know firsthand what it takes to make that type of life-changing adjustment. I too am a working mom whose first baby weighed eight pounds, five ounces—meaning I know a thing or two about the episiotomy incision I mentioned earlier. I feel invigorated and deeply encouraged when I coach moms who work for companies that have taken it upon themselves to offer extended paid family leave—some up to 18 weeks! That’s progress, but it’s individual progress. I hope that one of the wealthiest countries in the free world will soon do the right thing to make national progress.

Robbie Green is a Working Moms Coach at Talking Talent.