I Tested 13 Ranch Dressings. This One Made Me Gag
Ranch for the Stars
It’s shocking what a few spices, herbs, and garlic can do for mayonnaise. Ranch dressing is more or less just that, and yet, it’s one of the most popular condiments on the planet. The mere fact that people even think of it as a condiment is a testament to its own power, because really, it’s a salad dressing.
The quality of this Alaska-born wonder varies, but which brand of ranch dressing is the best? Is traditional ranch still better than plant-based ranch? I knew there was only one way to find out, so I hit the salad dressing aisle (I’ll never understand why they don’t live in the refrigerated section) and grabbed every ranch I could find for a taste test. Here are 13 ranch dressings, ranked based on taste and dip-ability.
Special shoutout to Wingstop ranch, which is not yet available in a bottle. A kid can dream.
Editor's note: Prices and availability are subject to change.
Best: Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
$2.79 from Target
I promise I went into this taste test with an open mind. I really did, but I don’t know what you want me to say. No other ranch dressing I’ve ever tasted is even close to this good. The balance of Hidden Valley’s signature spices and dried herbs alongside the garlic — combined with the perfect consistency — make this the best ranch dressing in the game.
There are just so many foods that shine with the addition of Hidden Valley’s magical salad dressing. Crudité, mac and cheese, chicken wings, pizza crust, and about a trillion other things can reach new heights when the Valley gets introduced. It's the holy grail of ranch. Nobody has ever come for Hidden Valley's belt. I doubt anybody ever will.
2. Ken’s Steak House Ranch Dressing
$3.49 from Target
I like this a lot. This is a black-pepper soaked ranch that at no point feels like it’s trying to copy Hidden Valley. Ken’s got his own thing going on, and I’m absolutely OK with that. I’d use this in a salad or spread it on a fried chicken sandwich any time.
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3. Wish-Bone Ranch Dressing
$2.58 from Walmart
Wish-Bone is smart. This dressing tastes like a Hidden Valley dupe, and that’s the best possible choice Wish-Bone could have made. If this ranch shortage gets serious and you can’t grab any of the good stuff, this is a fine-enough replacement for the time being.
Related: I Tasted 9 'Healthy' Salad Dressings and These Are the Best
4. Olive Garden Parmesan Ranch Dressing & Dip
$4.49 from Target
This was a perfect opportunity for Olive Garden to do the thing it does best: take something everybody loves and ruin it. They actually didn’t do that here, and though I fully expected a parmesan flavored blast based on the name, it was actually a lot more like a garlic powder blast.
This sort of tastes like somebody made a Caesar dressing and then realized they were supposed to make ranch, so instead they dumped a bunch of mayo and dill flavor in there and mixed it together. I don’t hate it at all.
5. Kraft Classic Ranch Dressing
$3.19 from Target
I have never made ranch dressing at home, but I assume this is what it would taste like. We’re just dealing with globby mayo and very moderate seasoning, and the result doesn’t taste like store-bought ranch. I bet if this was on a sandwich instead of mayo, you’d never know. True ranch lovers might want to look for more depth of flavor.
6. Hidden Valley Plant-Powered Ranch Dressing
$3.68 from Walmart
This is the best plant-based creamy dressing I’ve ever had. It reminds me of Hidden Valley’s original ranch, just a little watered down. Consistency-wise, this is as gloopy as a creamy ranch dressing, and for that alone, Hidden Valley should be proud. I don’t see anybody else defeating them in the dairy-free ranch game.
7. Chosen Foods Ranch Dressing and Marinade
$4.84 from Walmart
So many things happened with this one. I gave it a little shake, like the packaging says to do, and when I opened it, it exploded. Everywhere. A big eruption that continued to overflow with foam, like one of those Mentos-Diet Coke volcanos.
That said, it’s pretty tasty. The extreme garlic almost reminds me more of Caesar dressing than ranch, but I don’t mind it. Just be careful opening it.
8. Bolthouse Farms Classic Ranch Yogurt Dressing and Dip
$3.78 from Walmart
This is just as globby and creamy as Hidden Valley’s version, but a little more like sour cream and mayonnaise combined. I scoured the ingredient list, but couldn't really figure out why this is. Either way, as far as yogurt-based dressings go, this is a pretty decent alternative.
9. Tessemae's Pantry Classic Ranch
$8.90 from Amazon
There are two kinds of people: those who love the Valley's garlic-style ranch, and those who prefer restaurant ranch or homemade ranch dressing. Usually, these dressings are an explosion of dill flavor, which isn’t my thing. If it’s yours, reach for Tessemae.
10. Newman’s Own Ranch Dressing
$8.99 from Walmart
Meh. Usually Newman’s Own does a pretty bang-up job, but this does nothing for me. It’s pretty mild and lacks any sort of dill or onion powder punch that I’m looking for in my ranch. This is the "Cars" of Paul Newman's salad dressing career.
11. Briannas Home Style Classic Buttermilk Ranch Dressing
$11.99 from Walmart
Wowie, this is rich. I’d use this sparingly, and maybe only if I was trying to be incredibly cheffy with my dinner. I’d drizzle it gently along the inside of an endive or something, but there’s no universe where I’m tossing this into a classic lettuce-tomato-cucumber situation. Way too much decadence in this one.
12. Primal Kitchen Ranch Dressing
$6.29 from Target
Here’s the thing, gang. Ranch dressing is best left non-vegan. I get that people need alternatives, but this particular thing might have to be one you let go of. This is very strange to me. I can’t put my finger on what it reminds me of, but I don’t like it one bit.
Maybe in a salad some of these funkier flavors can get lost, but if you’re dipping a veggie stick in there, best of luck to you.
13. Skinnygirl Buttermilk Ranch Dressing
$2.38 from Walmart
I gagged. I really did. This is a vinegar attack that you’re not prepared for, and it’s so thin that you’ll never pull off a good dip or even get it to soak into some lettuce. Going back for a second taste was a struggle. I don't enjoy saying mean things, but yikes yikes, yikes.
This article was originally published on Cheapism
