'Survivor 45' Finalist Jake O'Kane Talks His Emotional Lows and Tribal Council Theatrics

Jake O'Kane

Survivor 45 is here! Every week, Parade.com's Mike Bloom will bring you interviews with the castaway most recently voted off of the island.

Jake O'Kane's Survivor journey is defined by one phrase: "The show must go on." His 26-day run on season 45 was full of plenty of stumbles, sometimes quite literally. After avoiding Tribal Council for half the season, Jake's applecart was upset when his first big move failed. Indeed, the Beantown resident had to consistently hear, "How do you like them apples?" throughout the postmerge, as time and time again, he ran into issues executing the plan he wanted. Regardless, whether a mobster or a goon, Jake avoided getting whacked. After what felt like two weeks of failure, Jake got a rare success with a firemaking win. And, paired with his speaking skills from being a lawyer, he thought he had enough to plead his million-dollar case. Unfortunately, his case was settled in the Survivor small claims court. While the jury admired his fight, his lack of moves failed to have any of them saying, "Whoa!"

Jake entered Survivor as a freshly minted lawyer with a history in theatre. And he was more than happy to show off that gift of gab, even if that put him on the radar of the Belo women. Fortunately, they never had a chance to act on any suspicion against him, as a premerge winning streak had Jake confidently entering the next phase of the game. At the merge, he attempted his first major move, wanting to tie the votes to save ally Kaleb Gebrewold to get out the threatening Julie Alley. Unfortunately for Jake, he didn't realize that the lack of trust he garnered with Katurah Topps through their time together would prove fatal. Kaleb left, and Jake was left holding the bag. He had attempted to go from an extra to a major player, only for his big monologue to get cut. He would go on to earn eight votes against him the rest of the game, branded an enemy of both the Reba majority and the outsiders.

But there were two undeniable things Jake had: Heart and an always-working mind. Despite his target level, he loomed less large than his fellow Belo threats who all got taken out before him. Simultaneously, he tried to appeal to the majority, getting in tight with Drew Basile before an argument turned it all pear-shaped. Oddly, though momentum was building for Jake to make it to the end, it wasn't amounting to material moves. He tried to once again force a tie, only for the vote to be a majority anyway. He flaunted his newly-found idol and played it on Katurah to get out Dee Valladares, only for Katurah to switch her vote after a lack of trust in him. On Day 25, Jake hit an all-time low, his morale as broken as a challenge apparatus. He made a surprising appeal to Dee, asking her to put him in to give one last taste of possible success. And, in the darkness of all Jake's shortcomings, a warm orange glow shown through. Jake beat Katurah in firemaking, calling it the best day of his life. Unfortunately, like a snowball in hell, Jake's chances of winning were as up in flames as the impressive inferno he built.

The day after the finale, Jake talks with Parade.com about who he would have voted for if he had to be the tiebreaking vote, his plan with his idol at the Final Five, and getting to tell the story of his past with eating disorders on national TV.

Related: Read our Survivor 45 pre-game interview with Jake O'Kane

Good morning, Jake! How's everything going?
You know what, Mike? I'm doing okay, man. Happy to see your face, brother.

And it's very much mutual! Well let's get right into it, because it was a whirlwind finale to cap off a whirlwind season for you. You mentioned in the after show that, by the time final Tribal Council was done, you felt you had no shot of winning. And the edit seemed to make it like the attention was really on Austin and Dee from the jury. Was that the case in reality?
I think when Final Five didn't go my way, it's just like, "I don't know what I really have." I felt like, even if I had won individual immunity, thrown myself into fire, and won, that's still a really, really tough argument. It's unfortunate, but I kind of had the expectation that it was not going to go my way before even going in. I mean, I try my best. I make my best argument. I made an opening statement that was cut. I tried to say, "You know what? Boston Rob can't play for the bottom. Sandra Diaz-Twine has never done well playing from the top. And I want you to judge our games on those merits. Me laying versus the bottom gameplays versus the top, it is apples and oranges. You can't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree."

In terms of the questioning, I was honestly going into final Tribal like, "These guys are just going to beat the crap out of me. I'm gonna do my best." But, honestly, everyone was super respectful, and really gave me a chance to talk about the things I did. And one of the first things that was said to me is from Drew. I mean, you saw the episodes. "Jake, you're not giving yourself enough credit here." And it just meant so much, because Drew is a really intelligent guy. He's very candid. I mean, even to point where people on Reddit give him crap about it. So when he said that--that was said early in final Tribal--it looks like they're really respecting me as a person and giving me the ability. So I mean, they deserved other questions about their back and forth and who totally controlled what. But I did feel like they gave me the space to answer questions and make a pitch, which I'm appreciative of.

You also mentioned in the after show that you were ready to vote in the event of a tie as the jury votes were coming in. Do you know who you would have voted for between Austin and Dee if it came to it?
I would have voted for Dee, and here's why. On swapped Lulu, we were all sitting down. We said, "Hey, maybe at mergatory, let's get Dee out. It looks like she's in charge." And it was kind of that way the whole way through from my perspective on the outside. She was so insulated. And I think when you do have your threat up for that long, and then you get to the end, I think that's super hard to overlook. And that's not to take away from Austin's game at all. I think any critique of Austin's game is not so much that Austin played a bad game, but I think Dee is just that dominant. It'd be hard for anyone to beat Dee. And then the thing about Austin's position is that he had the two idols. He never needed to do anything to better his position, but it's almost like I maybe wish he found a way to like do something with it. But Austin's a great guy, and he's a friend I'll have for life. But yeah, it would have been tough. But I would have voted for Dee.

You and I talked in the preseason about how Tribal Council would be your stage. And you did certainly bring some panache to it, between your infamous, "Whoa! Sorry, whoa" reaction to Kellie's blindside, or even you turning to stare at Kendra as she's being voted out. And, while that made for great TV, it could also potentially turn the people you're playing with off. How much do you think that theatricality affected your perception?
I don't think like the theatricality affected the perception. "Whoa! Sorry, whoa." I don't remember that at all. I was shocked. I was thinking about what I was eating that night. I thought I was going home. And the Kendra thing, honestly, that's a big regret of mine. I honestly was just disrespectful to Kendra. The Kendra and Kellie votes happened one right after the other. I felt like she was lying to me right before the Kellie vote. And she wasn't lying. She was trying to do something that never would have worked. But I thought she was babysitting me while I was looking for idols. And I'm just like, "Get out of my face, dude!" And then the next day, she's like, "Hey, it's alright, we're voting..." I forget who she even said we were gonna vote for.

But then people were telling me again, "Yeah, Kendra's saying your name." And it's like, you're lying to me two days in a row. I just felt hurt. But, when someone goes, that's it.  It's one of the regrets I have. I didn't need to do that to Kendra. And, honestly, as soon as everything was over and the final Tribal ended, one of the first things I did was went up to Kendra and was like, "That was completely uncalled for. I went too far." It just didn't need to happen. Kendra's awesome. I was in a blind spot, and I was being a baby about it.

To that point, Kendra had told me that you had gotten into tiffs with her and Katurah during the Kellie vote. Did that come out of frustration at your situation? Or were you trying to draw votes to you to play your Shot in the Dark?
Literally, I thought they were babysitting me. Katurah came over to me, and I'm like, "You're babysitting me. I know what this is. Please leave me alone." She's like, "No, we're not babysitting you." And I'm like, "Yeah, just get out of my face. I know what this is like. Let's not sit here and bull [expletive] each other." So I was upset about that. And I felt like Kendra was doing the same thing, which she actually wasn't at that moment.

Well, you talk about Katurah. We have to get into your big idol play at five. Talk me through your intention in telling everyone about your idol, and at what point you decided to play it on Katurah.
I think there's the critique out there that I should have tried to get all the votes on me. Right. "Jake, try to get all the votes on you and then play the idol." I don't think that shows a lot of control. I think that's very, "Oh, that's lucky you found an idol and then negated votes." But if I could use it to assert some control on how other people voted, I think it really squeezes the idol for more than the first situation would. So, in my mind, I was tentative if Julie should go I was worried about Julie in fire. But Katurah makes a great argument. I'm like, "She's right. Dee needs to go."

And my thought of playing the island on Katurah. I knew Austin would tell Dee. So I was like, "Okay, great." And as soon as Austin told Dee, I told Katurah. That's votes that aren't coming my way. So that opens me up to do stuff with it. And, in my mind, it's like, "Okay, I know Austin wants Julie. And I don't think Dee is going to end up voting for Julie." So then I thought votes may go on Katurah. And here's the thing. So I play the idol for Katurah. And in my mind, that nerfs Katurah a little bit. She jumped up gave me a hug. And I think that makes me look in control in front of the jury. And then Austin is out of the loop on another vote, and Dee goes home. So I think it would have been a much bigger squeeze than trying to put all the votes on me and just pop an idol.

Katurah brings up the point, and I will as well. Why did you choose not to tell her about playing the idol on her ahead of time? Was it really to get that genuine reaction out of her, as you mentioned at final Tribal? Or were you worried she'd bring the information back and get you votedo ut?
It was something that crossed my mind. But it was more for the natural reaction. And I think, had it worked out, I think it's the correct move to not tell her based on the reaction. I mean, people from the jury, when that first vote came for Katurah, they're like, "Wait, is Jake winning?" But that's just speculation from them. But, yeah, I think I think that's the right move. I think my mistake there was I should have maybe came to the decision earlier in the day. But, yeah, I told her that I'd do it. And I did it. And she didn't.

Talk to me about that firemaking win. Because it seemed less about something to help you win the game and more so something that just gave you a win emotionally.
I needed it so bad. I needed it so bad. Mentally, those last couple of days were just  really rough, because you can feel the game just entirely slipping away from you. I was on the bottom. And it's just watching a car crash in slow motion, doing all you can, and just nothing's working out.For my psyche, I needed it. And I know firemaking is not everyone's cup of tea, but I needed it so much. And I'm gonna be forever grateful for that moment. It's one of the best moments in my life, and I needed it so much. Words can't describe how much I needed that mentally.

You experienced so many high highs and low lows throughout the postmerge. And this is perhaps the most we've seen an underdog story that dealt with the raw emotions of being on the bottom. How tough was it to navigate those feelings while simultaneously trying to keep your head in the game?
You can't stop. I can't get hung up on losing a puzzle piece. Because it's like, if I did, you can't try to do the next thing. I think there is a danger in Survivor about letting those low moments become debilitating. I mean, I did other things to debilitate myself. But I never let those lows stop me from trying to advance and making efforts to navigate successfully.

Speaking of those lows, I want to go back to the premerge for a bit. We saw you pass out a number of times. Is everything ok medically? Do you know what happened there?
I think it was lack of food. I've never passed out before Survivor. I haven't passed out since. I think it was lack of food. I passed out a total of three times; one was off-camera. So it was just honestly shocking to me. And I honestly thought I might get pulled. So I was just so scared. I couldn't get pulled; it just would have been a nightmare. I was so scared I was getting pulled. And I hurt my ankle during the mergatory challenge. I thought I may be getting pulled there.  Downs, I like hurt my foot, my ankle, I thought I may be getting pulled over that. I was like, "Aw, Jesus!"

Well one of those moments of passing out allowed you to tell your story about your previous eating disorder, and how you worked through that to eventually come onto Survivor. What was your reaction to have your story told, and what's been the response from you getting to open up about something that hasn't really been discussed on the show up to this point?
I was so happy with how the show handled it. They really handled it with such care. And it was just such a raw moment. And I think when you first go out on Survivor, you're like, "Oh, this is this is kind of weird. This is a hard." And it really felt like the moment for me mentally was like, "Okay, you're here. Let's make every second out of it worth it." Because, I could have been gone. I think the first time I passed out was on Day Six. Every single second was like an absolute blessing to me. And I really feel like I took full advantage of the experience and  every single moment I was there for. I would wake up every day and I would just stop out of the blue and just be like, "Oh my God, we're on Survivor, guys. What are we doing?" I didn't need to be a great player. I don't need to be viewed as some Boston Rob or Parvati Shallow. I just want people to know that I left everything out there. And I'm really proud of that.

Next, read our interview with Survivor 45 second-place finisher Austin Li Coon.