South Bend area moms share their Mother's Day traditions and wisdom about motherhood

SOUTH BEND — When Karen Viveros was growing up in Bolivia, Mother's Day for her mami was May 27.

Months after marrying her husband, the newlyweds moved from their home country to Goshen in May of 1999. They hoped the U.S. would offer better opportunities for the children they planned to have. Three years later, Viveros gave birth to her first child.

Twenty-two years later, that child is soon to be a senior at Indiana University Bloomington. Her middle child attends IU South Bend and her youngest is set to graduate from Goshen High School next month.

All three were raised to be bilingual and bicultural, says Viveros, who's 52. At home, they had to speak Spanish. They had to watch TV in Spanish. When they started coming from school and calling Viveros "mom," she would say, "No. It's not mom. It's mami."

It was difficult to find out that, in the U.S., children are expected to leave home after turning 18. Growing up in Bolivia, Viveros says, young adults typically didn't move out until they were married.

This Mother's Day, the children will all be home. They'll go to church with their mami and bring her flowers before enjoying a good lunch. And in about two weeks, on May 27, they'll all celebrate Bolivian Mother's Day with Viveros and her own mami, who now lives in Goshen.

"We have grown our kids to be independent ...," Viveros says. "We wanted them to be able to live by themselves. We gave them the tools to fly, and we're proud so far."

Viveros was just one of several moms The Tribune asked to share their thoughts on Mother's Day and what they're looking forward to on Sunday.

(Editor's note: Yes, Mother's Day is THIS Sunday. You already have something planned, right?)

Not an easy job, but she's doing it

As a single mother of three boys, who are 17, 14 and 12 years old, Victoria McCall is always searching for new ways to connect with them. Sometimes that means playing basketball together. Sometimes that means working out in the Kroc Center's weightlifting room.

"Being a mother is a beautiful thing. But being a single mother is a 24-hour job — it's a 24-hour job being a parent anyway — but I have more responsibilities," says McCall, who's 36 and lives in South Bend. "Sometimes I have to go out and have my male friends come and talk to my boys. ... It's not easy raising a man on my own. But I'm doing it. I'm trying."

This Mother's Day, she plans to host a big barbeque for her family in the area. The day will start with church, she says, and end with a sunny afternoon drinking margaritas.

Blended village working together

It's been decades since Sue Young's adult children, two sons and one daughter, needed her to help them put on their shoes. But this week at Howard Park, as her 2- and 3-year-old grandkids prepared to run from the splashpad to the playground, Young bent over one child's tiny foot and slipped on a shoe.

This Mother's Day, she says, she finds herself trying to strike a balance between exploring her own freedom as a recent retiree and spending precious time with the little ones. To celebrate, she's likely to stop by her daughter-in-law's house and see the various generations of relatives who make parenting possible.

"We have a lot of blended family, so we look at it like — you know, they say it takes a village, which is what we do," Young says. "We have different grandparents and in-laws that help out. But we all kind of take turns with watching the girls."

Honoring Mom well into adulthood

“Our boys are both grown, so things have kind of changed,” she says. “We have to do things differently.”

Last year, her son, who lives out of town, got a smoothie and juice from her favorite juice bar, Purely Pressed on Eddy Street. Her son who lives in South Bend, usually gives her a basket of flowers each year, Griffin says.

Griffin plans to celebrate her own 92-year-old mother this Mother’s Day by taking her out to eat.

'The ones to give life'

"I lost my mother in March," Vida Harley says. "Sharing and inspiration, and saying something nice. Sometimes the relationships are not the best (with mothers). We have to try and be better.

"Mothers are the prize. We are the prize, for we are the ones to give life."

Catch a dream

"Mothers need to be in a creative space," Charlotte Patton says. "Encourage your kids to be creative. A parent's job is to prepare their children for their next stage in life, to catch a dream."

Don't make Mom cook on her day

“My husband always barbecues for me," says Kenya Moffitt of South Bend. "I never have to cook. So I just have to relax. That’s the best part.”

"My favorite Mother's Day tradition used to be going out for brunch," says Lucinda Farwell of Osceola, "but now it's having my family come over for BBQ."

"I like going out to dinner," said Shirley Gordon of South Bend, "or having someone cook for me all day."

“My daughter is a PhD student at Notre Dame," says Kathy Link of South Bend, "and she’s taking me to Rohr’s for dinner.”

This article originally appeared on South Bend Tribune: South Bend area moms share their Mother's Day traditions and wisdom