Single mom overcomes addiction to build better life for daughter

Dec. 3—The Good Neighbor Fund, a charitable partnership between Helping Hands Hawaii, the Honolulu Star-Advertiser and First Hawaiian Bank, helps struggling individuals and families during the holiday season.

When 37-year-old single mother Riley Parry gave birth to her daughter, she made a commitment to getting sober.

It was a commitment that she has kept, and she says it has allowed her to cherish every moment since with her now 1-year-old daughter, Kinsley Parry.

"Life while using sucks. You live on a day-to-day basis and you don't have any friends or family or people that you can trust, " Parry said. "I wanted a better life for me and my daughter. ... Now, life is amazing. I live for her."

Parry's road to sobriety hasn't been a straight line. About five years ago Parry was living in Seattle where she grew up. She was outgoing in high school, had many friends, and at the time she didn't have a clue what addiction was, she said.

However, at the influence of a new group of friends, she began using drugs and alcohol, which led her into her initial battle with addiction. Parry's mother died during that time, and her dying wish was for Parry to get sober.

Parry said she honored her mother's wish, and maintained a sober lifestyle for about five years. During that time, she helped other women get sober, sponsoring them as they went through the steps of recovery, but Parry eventually relapsed.

She decided to move to Oahu where she checked in to a treatment center. After about a year of sobriety, she began dating the man who would later become Kinsley's father. The new relationship combined with the fact that she was far from her family and in isolation due to the COVID-19 pandemic led her to relapse again.

Parry described the following few years of her life as out of control. She fell into a cycle of depression and isolation, supplemented by drugs and alcohol.

"I would stay in my apartment all day, every day, " she said "I would just sit there and use by myself and it just wasn't a good life."

But when Kinsley was born, Parry said, she realized that she couldn't allow her daughter to witness her mother drunk or high. She said she checked in to another treatment center and has remained sober ever since.

"It brings tears to my eyes because my family is in my life again, " Parry said. "It's the best thing ever because your family trusts you again, you have relationships with them and you get to work as a normal person."

After the holidays, Parry plans to move back to Seattle and into a clean-and-sober home to be closer to her family. Having gone to esthetician school, she hopes to find a job there where she can put her license to use.

Until then, Parry plans to savor every moment with Kinsley while she rebuilds her life.

"I just look forward to every single day with her, " Parry said. "Being sober, I thank God every day for helping me get through this."

For Christmas, Parry would like monetary donations to help her purchase airfare for her and Kinsley to return to Seattle.------Linsey Dower covers ethnic and cultural affairs and is a corps member of Report for America, a national service organization that places journalists in local newsrooms to report on undercovered issues and communities.------