Sheryl Lee Ralph says she's 'strict but loving' as a parent: 'I'm not your friend ... I'm your mother'

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Emmy winner Sheryl Lee Ralph opens up about her family. (Photo: Getty)
Emmy winner Sheryl Lee Ralph opens up about her family. (Photo: Getty) (Getty)

Welcome to So Mini Ways, Yahoo Life's parenting series on the joys and challenges of childrearing.

Between Moesha and her Emmy-winning turn on Abbott Elementary, Sheryl Lee Ralph — who will take the stage on Super Bowl Sunday to perform "Lift Every Voice and Sing” — has pretty much cornered the market on firm but loving maternal figures. But how would Ralph, mom to a 30-year-old son and 27-year-old daughter, describe her actual parenting style?

"I think it's strict but loving," the singer and actress tells Yahoo Life. "I'm not your friend. I'm not your companion. I'm your mother. I'm here to lay down the laws of our home. Listen to me, don't just look at me. Understand what I'm trying to tell you."

Communication is key to good parenting, says the Dreamgirls star.

"I don't think enough parents really and truly talk to their children to help their children understand what it is they're saying," Ralph says. "And stop talking down to your children. Try and get right on their level, eye to eye, so that they can see and understand what it is you're saying. And start it early, because they really do understand a lot very early."

Ralph spoke to So Mini Ways as part of her partnership with Microban 24. The Tony winner says her support of the brand best known for antimicrobial sanitizing products was inspired by her family. Ralph's uncle died early on during the COVID-19 pandemic, making her even more vigilant about keeping potentially deadly bacteria at bay. Struggling to find bleach and other disinfectants in stock at local shops, she stumbled upon Microban 24, which she continues to use in her home.

"The whole idea that I could spray it on my surfaces to battle that bacteria, I was down for that," she says. "And it's just stuck with me this whole time."

Trying to keep a home safe and clean can take on new significance — and pressure — when kids enter the picture. As a mom, how did Ralph get her kids, Eitenne and Ivy Coco Maurice, to pitch in with chores when they were younger?

"For me it was a lesson in finance and living," she shares. "I wanted my children to understand that we did not live in this house for free, that we all have debts to pay just because we're underneath this roof. And with that, everybody must pitch in the way they can. And it was up to them to keep their surfaces clean, keep the rooms clean. You have chores just like I have, and if you work it right, you might get a little stipend on the side, but you've got to do your job first. And kids really respond to that. They love knowing that they play a part in living in the home, that they have their thing to do first. And as parents, you have to enforce it. You have to teach it. If you don't do it, they're not going to learn it. That's why it's called parenting."

As she racks up awards for playing Abbott Elementary's veteran kindergarten teacher Barbara Howard, Ralph has dazzled audiences with rousing speeches and soundbites emphasizing the importance of self-love and determination. Not surprisingly, she's big on showering her children with affirmations — just like her parents did with her.

"I learned from my parents," she says. "My parents encouraged me. My parents wanted me to know that I was smart. They wanted me to know that I could do it; I could make it no matter how difficult it might seem. And, you know, being a child of the '60s, it was easy to feel like the world was against you as a child, seeing so many young children lose their parents to just random acts of hate. It was really kind of devastating. But my parents were always there to teach me something, to help bolster my fragile ego at that time as a child, to build up my spirit. And that's literally where I got it from.

"There was a saying that talking to yourself is a sign of somebody who's crazy," she adds. "But my mother would always tell me that talking to yourself is a sign of somebody who's in charge of their own life. So , you know, I talk to myself regularly."

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