These Relationship Check-In Questions Will Help Keep Your Partnership Strong

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Relationship Check-In QuestionsIppei Naoi - Getty Images

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The honeymoon phase can trick you into thinking relationships are easy, but in reality, healthy relationships take intentional, hard work. One way you can apply that effort is by holding weekly or monthly relationship check-ins, which are basically like business meetings between you and your partner. If you’re not used to having them, they can feel a bit silly at first, so it helps to have a list of relationship check-in questions that guide you both through the past, current, and present ins and out of your relationship, all with the ultimate goal of better serving each other.

Keep reading for a some relationship check-in question ideas, divided by category. And when you’ve gone through them, have a bit of fun with a game of would you rather, couples-edition.

General relationship check-in questions

After the basic, “how are you?” these are a good place to start.

  • How do you feel about our relationship in this moment?

  • How is work going? Is anything causing you stress?

  • What’s bringing you joy this week?

  • Let’s have a finances check-in. (If you share finances.)

  • Let’s have a housekeeping check-in. (If you live together.)

Relationship check-in questions for communication and conflict

Navigating tension productively is key to keeping a relationship healthy. These questions can help you cover all the bases.

  • How well do you feel we communicated over the last week?

  • Are there any issues that feel unresolved?

  • What’s something that is working well in our relationship right now?

  • What’s something that could use improvement in our relationship?

  • Share something that has been worrying you over the past week, either within or outside of our relationship. What can I do to help you with this?

  • What do you think our biggest challenge has been recently, and how have we faced it?

  • During moments of disagreement or tension, did I make you feel understood, heard, and respected? If not, what specific areas can I improve on?

  • How can I do better in validating your perspective and emotions?

  • Are there any fears, judgments, or resentments that you’re holding onto from last week? If so, how are they affecting you and/or our relationship?

  • How can I provide constructive criticism and feedback in a way that promotes growth and understanding?

  • How can I improve my emotional presence and responsiveness during disagreements?

Relationship check-in questions for connection and intimacy

Not sure how to talk about intimacy or the deep stuff? These prompts are a good jumping off point.

  • When did you feel most connected to me and/or supported by me over the last week?

  • What do you need from me to feel supported right now?

  • How are you feeling about our current level of intimacy?

  • What can I do better to create a safe and supportive space for intimate conversations?

  • What is a favorite memory of us from the last week or month? How did it make you feel?

  • Do you have any new goals or desires you’d like to share? If so, how can I help you meet them?

  • What’s your level of satisfaction with the progress we’ve made toward our shared goals and desires this week?

  • What potential obstacles or difficulties do you think we might face in the upcoming week in relation to our goals? How can we work through these together?

  • How are you taking care of yourself right now?

  • Is there anything else you feel the need to bring up?

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