Ray Mariano: When did it become OK to hate and lie?

Was it always like this — always this bad? I really don’t remember it being this bad.

When did it become OK to hate each other? When did so many Americans start calling their neighbors hateful, vulgar names in public? When did we start saying the ugly things out loud?

I suppose it was always there, lurking just below the surface, bubbling up from time to time or whispered in dark corners. There are plenty of examples of it in American history. But when did it become commonplace and acceptable for millions of Americans to openly act this way? When did it become OK to say these things at the Sunday dinner table?

I’m not talking about hating Trump, Biden or some other politician. I’m talking about hating each other, hating large segments of our population.

I remember when I first started to notice hate expose its ugly head. I don’t mean the first time I saw or heard hate. I mean the first time I noticed that so many people said it was OK.

It was in Charlottesville at the “Unite the Right” rally, where demonstrators gathered in support of white culture and to defend the legacy of the Confederacy. The hate wasn’t just focused on people of color. At that rally, brazen protesters shouted, “Jews will not replace us.” Using phrases taken directly from Nazi ideology, men dressed in fatigues and carrying assault weapons stood across the street from Congregation Beth Israel while Jews prayed inside. It was a disgraceful display. At least, I thought it was.

But when Donald Trump said that there were “many fine people on both sides,” he was telling everyone that the antisemitic chants and the racist behavior were acceptable. Trump said they could say ugly things and still be a good person.

Then Trump embraced the Proud Boys, with their hateful white supremacist, neo-fascist ideology, on national television.

Before long, other elected officials were getting into the act. They saw how some of their supporters responded to Trump and they wanted a piece of the action. They attacked Black history and tried to justify and whitewash the stain of slavery.

It didn’t stop there. They attacked people who were gay, lesbian or transgender. They screamed into megaphones and attacked officials at school board meetings. People shouted at little children, warning them that they were being groomed and that the people holding their hands were pedophiles.

The boiling cauldron of hate also included attacks on Asians and Muslims because they were easy targets.

Some of the ugliest attacks were directed at immigrants after Trump referred to them as “animals” and said that they were “poisoning the blood of our country.”

Then there’s the recreational cruelty, the hate directed at people just for the sport, just because they can. Worse, they hated us so we hated them back.

The hate was always there. But Donald Trump said that it was OK, even honorable. He let people believe that if they screamed their hate loud enough, all of their problems would go away.

When did it become OK to lie?

When did it become OK to lie? I’m not talking about exaggerating a point or trying to take credit that you don’t deserve. I’m talking about saying that black is white or that sunshine is really rain. When did honesty stop being a virtue?

I’m not sure when it happened but I remember presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway saying that there were “alternative facts.” She went on national television and told the country that if you didn’t like the facts, you could simply make up your own.

In the past, when a politician was caught in a lie, confronted by the truth, they apologized or changed their story. Now, following Trump’s lead, they double down and cover their lies with even more lies.

It didn’t matter that our courts called out their lies, that the liars at Fox News were fined nearly $1 billion for knowingly spreading lies or that Rudy Giuliani was ordered to pay millions to two innocent women that he disparaged. None of it mattered.

And when hundreds of people ended up in federal prison for believing Trump’s biggest lie, they justified all of it with more lies.

When did it become acceptable to ignore science?

When did it become acceptable to ignore science? When did we stop listening to our best scientific and medical advice and start listening to some blabbermouth with a bow tie?

Today, half of America ignores people who have spent a lifetime studying and preparing to tackle our greatest challenges. Instead, they’re willing to listen to someone who can barely complete a sentence tell them to ignore the obvious threat of climate change and serious diseases. Worse, they ridicule and scream at those who follow the science.

When did we stop believing in democracy and the rule of law? When did the ends start to justify violent means? When did vice become a virtue? I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but I know that it all began with the hate and then the lies. It began with Trump.

Years from now, Donald Trump’s legacy will not be building a wall or disparaging NATO. His legacy will be the hate that he fomented and the lies that he told. And our legacy will be that we let him — that we refused to see the truth right in front of us, that we didn’t fight back hard enough, that we got distracted, that we got tired of all of it and didn’t stop him.

We need to stop him.

Email Raymond V. Mariano at rmariano.telegram@gmail.com. He served four terms as mayor of Worcester and previously served on the City Council and School Committee. He grew up in Great Brook Valley and holds degrees from Worcester State College and Clark University. He was most recently executive director of the Worcester Housing Authority. His column appears weekly in the Sunday Telegram.His endorsements do not necessarily reflect the position of the Telegram & Gazette.

This article originally appeared on Telegram & Gazette: Ray Mariano on hate and lies overtaking America