Pratt: For Mother's day, give her your presence instead of presents

What is it about human beings that often brings together for marriage two people who are polar opposites in personality?

Either God has a purpose of growth for each or perhaps a serious sense of humor that reflects knowledge of the need for adjustments to come. Just looking at the wonders of Creation, it also occurs to me that there is wisdom and hope in variety.

As the product of two wonderful, but also humanly flawed family types, I’ve had many years to think about not only the differences, but also to acknowledge that each provides different types of strength and character.

On Sunday, we hopefully honor our mothers by some gesture of thoughtfulness whatever our age. With that thought, I remember so well that even within one family system there is much diversity. But the overriding truth for me is that our grandparents, both mine and my husbands, were people of strong faith.

Thus, regardless of our individualities, we inherit a seedbed of faith that is passed on to our children, grandchildren and young great-grandchildren to embrace or reject. As with our choices, our freedom and exercise of that faith will be reflected not only in their behaviors, but also in the errors we make.

Sometimes we laugh about a truism that “opposites” attract, thus making marriage a dangerous, slippery slope to navigate. Actually, it is what we have in common with each other that most often causes the biggest arguments – we are stubbornly bent on having things our own way.

After I also had children, my mother, a masterful comforter of her grandbabies, especially if they were sick with a cold, confessed to me that as an infant, I resisted her cuddling comfort.

Ah, ha! I know where that inherited resistance originated – my paternal grandparents. Both sides of the family were quite verbal, but there were marked differences. My dad’s family were extremely verbal and affectionately argumentative, but not huggers. My mother’s family not only loved telling stories, teasing each other, but laughing together at themselves and each other.

A pastor’s family has a lot of funny stories to tell, but they never revealed any names that would improperly identify a parishioner. One grandfather was a lay preacher in his earlier years. My maternal grandfather was pastor in many country churches, as were his father and grandfather in the Ballinger area.

My brother, the middle child, made up what I lacked. Jerry always brought mother the first rose of the season from the yellow rose bush that bloomed profusely every spring near our house. Both my brothers were cuddly infants. In her later years, I made more effort to show my appreciation. But I had to think about it.

If your mother is still living, take a moment to show physical affection by touch and by words. Even if she is not accustomed to hugs, give her a nice embrace.

Primarily, it is your presence she truly desires more than presents to unwrap.

What do you do when families are broken by divorce, and as a child you felt abandoned by one or both parents? I found an answer in an unlikely source this week on my bookshelf, published in 2008 by Fall River Press in New York.

“Glimpses of Heaven: True Stories of Hope and Peace at the End of Life’s Journey” by Trudy Harris, RN, is exactly what its title implies. One of the cover quotes is indicative of the inspirational and helpful insight into a wide variety of people facing end of life issues, either as the patient, the caregiver, family or doctors that deal with end-of-life issues. It’s a book I will reread again and again. The author is a former president of the Hospice Foundation for Caring.

Ages in this brief inspirational book range from a 3-year-old to mid-life and elderly patients facing death. Mothers, fathers, children, adolescents – we all need comfort and strength. This is a helpful book for both caregivers and those suffering incurable illness.

Beth Pratt retired as religion editor from the Avalanche-Journal after 25 years. You can email her at beth.pratt@cheerful.com.

This article originally appeared on Lubbock Avalanche-Journal: Pratt: For Mother's day, give her your presence instead of presents