NF kicks off 'last tour I'm ever gonna do' in Milwaukee — if true, he's going out on top

An hour into his set at Milwaukee's Fiserv Forum Wednesday, rapper and singer NF took a moment to thank the fans for helping him realize one of his dreams, to play arenas.

Then, right after that, the artist born Nathan Feuerstein appeared to drop a bomb in what was the first show of the latest leg of his "Hope" tour.

"This is the last tour I'm ever gonna do."

Wait, was he serious?

A surprised hush, sprinkled with some boos, filled the arena. NF didn't offer any further explanation. He changed the subject by talking about a fan's broken-chair shirt — an inside joke among longtime followers, which prompted arena-wide cheers and prompted NF to make fun of many fans who cheered for something they didn't understand.

"I'm done rapping, show's over, thanks for coming out, I appreciate you," NF said in response.

There was a little bitterness in his tone, but he wasn't serious that time. The 90-minute, 19-song set resumed with "Pandemonium."

Fans are going to hope he's not serious about ending his touring career, either.

There's a history of artists making "I'm done touring" statements on stage, and the sentiment doesn't always stick. But that NF even suggested quitting Wednesday, right after thanking fans for elevating him to arena-headliner status, is just the latest apparent contradiction of a surprising, one-of-a-kind star.

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Yes, NF is a star. Fiserv Forum was full Wednesday, and his last three albums, dating back to 2017, have either debuted in the No. 1 or 2 spot on the Billboard 200.

But he's hardly a household name, and probably wouldn't be recognized by most people on the street. His face Wednesday was often concealed by a baseball cap and shadowy lighting, in line with his promotional photos. (Possibly related to his preference for concealment, press photos and house photos were also prohibited Wednesday.)

He's clearly and directly influenced by his fellow Michigan native Eminem, with his head-spinning ability to stuff run-on verses into a rapid-fire flow, like on setlist highlight "Paid My Dues" Wednesday. He also embraces splashy pop production, like on "Time," a song about his failings written for his frustrated wife; the song's arrangement sounds like "Play"-era Moby.

But NF's also very much doing his own thing, avoiding the expletives and shock tactics of his muse.

And that's because NF is a Christian rapper — even though he objected to that classification in an interview last year with The Guardian. Nevertheless, he raps about his faith, initially was signed to a Christian label, and has a strong following among Christian music fans.

And yet, he's unlike most Christian artists, who are inclined to emphasize faith and hope in their music. NF frequently gets dark and deeply personal, far more than nearly all of his peers — rapping Wednesday about a breakdown on "The Search," or turning to God to help him find mental serenity on "My Stress."

Critically, his songs don't offer a happy ending.

He kicked off his show Wednesday with a song called "Hope," the title track of his latest album. But it was NF's pain that was most prevalent, the song building Wednesday to a powerful and profound unleashing of a lifetime of anguish, as he rapped about 30 years of running, searching, hurting, anger, shame, sorrow and more. By the end of the song, he suggested he'll "take the reins," be the supportive father to his son that he didn't get from his own father — but even then, he still expresses doubt that he can truly succeed.

That's the vulnerability, the sadness, the realness that has made NF so popular. People struggling through life see themselves in the man who often, literally, is trying not to be seen.

Sure, his rapping skills are a draw (even though some hip-hop purists might have scoffed that he rapped over backing vocal tracks Wednesday). Some live drumming Wednesday added some oomph, and there were the usual bells and whistles — flashy video, smoke machines, lasers.

And while NF's facial expressions were often hard to discern, he was a physically engaging performer, and a charismatic one — at one point, killing the music to "Careful" to demand a stronger crowd response, even though fans in the pit were already jumping and cheering passionately. (Of course, the trick worked.)

But it was the meaning behind the music that mattered most Wednesday.

For "Hope" single "Happy," a song that has NF relaxing his rapping for more singing — the directness and subtle sorrow of his voice compensating for vocal finesse — he opens up a dialogue with God, confessing that he's more comfortable "living in my agony," recognizing that he has "baggage that I ain't opened yet … some traumas that I can't forget." He doesn't even know what true happiness will be like — and by the end of the song, he still hasn't attained it.

There were even darker songs, like "Hate Myself" from his 2019 album "The Search." Again, NF's reaching out to God, unable to help himself, to love himself. "Got lost in the questions that I can't answer, can't stand who I am, but it don't matter," he rapped Wednesday, the burden pushing him to sit on the edge of a riser for his confessionals. And again, there's no immediate salvation — instead, NF remains "knee-deep in defeat of my own actions."

And he stayed seated for the subsequent song Wednesday, "Mama," also from "Hope," about his mother, who died from an opioid overdose. Pondering what life might be like for her in heaven, he asks her if she felt "like trash" on Earth, like "something disposable that nobody could love" — like he does now.

"I pray you see me down here looking up," NF rapped tenderly Wednesday, as home movies depicting his mother and him as a child played on a screen behind him. "Still got a lot of things that I need healing from/But I'll get there eventually, don't you worry none/I just hope you finally got some peace and you feel happy Mom."

The pain doesn't go away. The struggle remains real. But in that song there was also some relief, a rare victory for NF, and it was very moving.

"I can't hold this unforgiveness in my heart no more," NF said. "Just know that you are lovable to me."

Seven songs later, NF ended the show with "Running," a setlist switch-up from other shows, which might be concerning for fans. The song's last lyrics, flashed on the screen: "I'm done" — possibly reinforcing NF's intent to quit touring.

But if he really does quit, Wednesday's tour kickoff showed he'll be going out in his prime. And he'll also be doing what he has always done — making a move on his terms.

3 takeaways from NF's tour kickoff in Milwaukee

• Kendrick Lamar’s “Alright” was the song filling the arena after the show ended and people headed to the exits. Was that NF’s way of picking Lamar’s side in his massive rap battle with Drake?

• There was a funny moment when I saw a couple standing toward the back of the arena floor who had no idea when NF emerged just behind them on a B-stage. So while dozens of people started rushing past them, the couple kept looking forward, vibing to “Let You Down,” somehow oblivious to the commotion — until maybe a minute into the song, when they finally turned around and looked shocked.

• Shout-out to a Fiserv Forum employee named Debra who gave big high fives with a smile to nearly everyone that came down one of the escalators after the show. “She’s so hyped,” an appreciative kid riding the escalator behind me commented. But alas, our escalator was out of Debra’s reach. “We should have gone down that way,” the kid said gesturing to the other escalator, a touch jealous.

NF's Fiserv Forum setlist

1. "Hope"

2. "Motto"

3. "Careful"

4. "The Search"

5. "Leave Me Alone"

6. "My Stress"

7. "Time"

8. "Paid My Dues"

9. "Layers"

10. "Why"

11. "Hate Myself"

12. "Mama"

13. "Happy"

14. "Pandemonium"

15. "Let You Down"

16. "Gone"

17. "When I Grow Up"

18. "Clouds"

19. "Running"

Contact Piet at (414) 223-5162 or plevy@journalsentinel.com. Follow him on X at @pietlevy or Facebook at facebook.com/PietLevyMJS.

This article originally appeared on Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: NF kicks off 'last tour I'm ever gonna do' at Milwaukee's Fiserv Forum