People, is a new grocery store really that exciting? A cynic’s take on H-E-B mania

A new H-E-B just opened in Frisco. Have you heard? Of course you have.

I’m not sure what’s more fascinating: The unabashed zeal surrounding the opening of H-E-B, or the grocer itself. At first, as a natural cynic, I wanted to poke fun at this — gently, of course. The first rule of opinion writing is never to scold your readers.

I wanted to portray my hubris like this: Really, you survived a pandemic and then got excited about a grocery store? For God’s sake, you can get an onion anywhere.

I thought that if I pointed out to readers just how much their nostalgia got the best of them, they might better understand themselves and their excitement. Whether it’s a new Dutch Bros., an In-N-Out or a Buc-ee’s, as one who has only lived here a few years, I’ve noticed: Texans get excited when they get new outlets. Just wait until Fort Worth residents can flock to the new H-E-B planned in Mansfield, the first in Tarrant County.

I wanted to show readers just how crazy it seemed to stand in line to wait to go inside a place where you have to pay 35% more for milk normally, thanks to inflation, and now, because you’re buying it from H-E-B, you have to pay even more. Have you compared the prices to Walmart or Kroger? I bet I could get one-third more groceries at Walmart for the same amount spent at H-E-B.

Sure, it has a barbecue restaurant and its own brands, but so does everyone else.

A genuine question: Is there something missing in your life that you’re this excited about a grocery chain? Do you need to focus instead on your child’s school play, or maybe take up backgammon? Is there a deep void there that you think wandering around a sparkly new grocery store will fill?

Now that President Joe Biden is paying off student loans, maybe consider that college degree you never finished, gather the nerve to ask that woman on a date — now that you can’t blame COVID — or lace up those shoes and just go to the gym.

I realize how pessimistic that sounds. Times are hard. Not World War II-level hard, but tricky. Money is tight, even if gas prices have dropped some. The pandemic crippled our economy and while Texas was largely open, it still felt like we were swimming in a fishbowl of COVID tests and quarantines.

Working from home, while it has its many perks, can feel like you spend every day walking from your desk to the refrigerator. While cracking open a can of Coke Zero, you’re embarrassed to remember that your 13 year-old self thought your adult self was going to change the world. Now you’re just wondering, during your important 10 a.m. Zoom meeting, if your neighbor has always mowed his lawn every week at that time.

After watching the excitement over the new H-E-B I realized, sometimes it is the little things in life, during really hard times, that keep us going. Sometimes, an occasional Starbucks does boost your energy, even if it costs $6 for 12 ounces. Sometimes, that unexpected hug from someone you love is the best thing you’ll feel all day.

Sometimes, it’s knowing that even though the world felt like it stopped for a couple years, it didn’t: Somebody was planning on building something new, bringing in more jobs and providing you with a shopping experience that feels so warm and fuzzy, so pleasant and vibrant, that for a minute, you forget your problems.

Shopping at H-E-B won’t fill a void in your life or give you a new hobby. It won’t replenish your bank account or shrink your waist size.

But it might just be something fun to do with the people you love, to remind you that good food nourishes your soul, life will go on, and we will find things to smile about — no matter how hard things get.