God loves all kids, including my trans son. Missouri lawmakers bring out my mama bear | Opinion
Like many folks in Missouri, I was raised in a conservative household. Growing up, I did not know anyone who was openly LGBTQ, and my church taught me that LGBTQ people were sinful. Now, I’m the proud mom of a trans son. I’ve learned so much from him and on this journey as a parent. But one thing hasn’t changed since I gave birth to him years ago: I know that God loves him, and all children.
Early in my professional career as a therapist, I had clients who came out to me because they trusted me. Witnessing their honesty and courage moved me further toward understanding that LGBTQ people want the same things we all want: to love and be loved, and to be accepted for who they are.
When my son told me he was transgender, I was afraid. Like many Missourians, I didn’t know anyone who was trans, and I worried that people would be unkind. I’m not proud of my initial response. I know I contributed to his pain and distress as a teenager.
But what I came to realize is that my kids are evidence of God’s great accepting love of all children. I am grateful to know my children and be taught, by them, how to love them best. I learned that you don’t have to understand everything about being transgender to love someone for who they are.
Now I know that transgender kids, like all young people, have the best chance to thrive when they have the health care they need, and the support from adults they count on. Having health care providers who could understand and help my son was so important to our family. Because of that gender-affirming health care, my son can pursue his dreams. That’s what all kids deserve.
I did not know that I would have a trans child, let alone be moved to write something like this. Politics is not my lane. I just want to help people heal and come from a place of love. But when I think about what some politicians in Missouri are doing to my son and people like him, my mama bear side shows up.
Right now, Missouri is considering more than 30 anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ bills. Some of those laws target trans kids’ participation in normal school activities, while others would curtail or outright ban certain health care measures.
The message these bills send to LGBTQ people, including my son, is clear: “Don’t be you!” That’s a terrible message to send to anyone.
Between us, my husband and I have four delightful children. Our kids are precious to us. We love to get together to celebrate their birthdays, when they get to pick their favorite meal (often my husband’s four-star meatloaf). As a therapist and as a mom, I want the same things for all children: support, safety and the freedom to become who they really are.
Dawna Daigneault is a therapist in Kansas City, where she lives with her husband.
