Dad ‘lived much longer than he deserved,’ son writes in searing Florida obituary
Lawrence Pfaff Jr. said he wanted to “say the truth” about his estranged father when he wrote a searing obituary about him for the Florida Times-Union, according to the outlet.
Now, the newspaper’s publisher is investigating how the piece got published.
Pfaff penned the obituary for his father, Lawrence Pfaff Sr., who died on June 27 at the age of 81 after living a life “much longer than he deserved,” says the obituary, which ran on July 2. The senior Pfaff was a “ladies’ man” who didn’t know how many children he had.
“He is survived by his three children, no four,” the piece says. “Oops, five children. Well as of 2022 we believe there is one more that we know about, but there could be more.”
The junior Pfaff told the Florida Times-Union in a video interview that he didn’t want to lie about who his father was when he wrote the obituary.
“I read a lot of obituaries at first, and a lot of them were very positive, so I’m like, ‘How can I write this in a way that’s positive but not really saying positive things?’” he told the outlet.
Pfaff Jr. described his father as an abusive alcoholic and a narcissist who had “no redeeming qualities” and was “incapable of love.”
Pfaff Sr. was an officer with the New York Police Department for more than 20 years, but had his gun and badge taken because of his alcoholism, his son wrote.
The New York Police Department did not respond to a request for comment from McClatchy News on July 8.
“Lawrence, Sr’s hobbies included abusing his first wife and children,” the obituary says. “He loved to start projects but never followed through on any of them. He enjoyed the life of a barfly for many years and had a quaint little living space, studio, above his favorite hole in the wall, the club Nashville.”
A spokesperson for Gannett, the publisher of the Florida Times-Union, a daily newspaper based in Jacksonville, wrote in an email to McClatchy News that the obituary “did not adhere to our internal guidelines and we are looking into the matter further.”
A webpage describing how to submit an obituary to the Florida Times-Union says that an author can enter an obituary into the newspaper’s system, at which time a representative will send the submitter an email “with a proof of what the obituary will look like in the printed newspaper, a price quote and deadline for payment.”
The outlet says that the person’s death must be verified with a “licensed party.” The page makes no mention of guidelines for what an obituary should contain.
A “frequently-asked questions” page on Gannett’s website includes a bulleted list of information that’s typically included in an obituary, such as full name, age at death, family members and survivors, work history and funeral service information. The page does not mention guidelines for how obituaries should be written.
Pfaff Jr. told NBC News that writing the obituary helped him start to heal from his childhood trauma.
His brutally honest writing resonated with readers across the country.
“I really really appreciate that he spoke the truth,” HeatherRenee Farris wrote in a comment on the Florida Times-Union’s Facebook page. “I also really commend the paper for being brave enough to print it.”
“There was no need for your publishing parent company to issue an apology,” Catlin Frazier wrote in a comment. “If his father wanted a decent obituary he should’ve used his 81 years here to try and be a decent man.”
Pfaff Jr. wrote that his father left behind a path of destruction, “damaging his adult children, and leaving them broken.
“Lawrence, Sr. can be remembered for being a father to many, and a dad to none,” he wrote.
Pfaff Jr. told the Florida-Times Union that he last saw his father about 30 years ago and wrote his obituary a year before he died.
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