‘So much hurt.’ Family reflects on life of Overland Park mom killed by drunk driver

On the night before Halloween, Karla Joy O’Malley joined her daughter and granddaughters for dinner, like she did a few times each week.

In the days leading up to the drunk driving crash that eventually took her life, O’Malley did all of the everyday things that she loved, said her daughter Megan Hillen.

She helped Hillen dress the girls for a local trunk-or-treat event, where they talked about everyone’s cute costumes, ate pie and laughed that Hillen’s toddler refused to share her dessert. They ate dinner, played with the girls and watched Hillen’s one-year-old practice walking.

“That was what she lived for,” Hillen said. “She just loved hanging out with her grandbabies.”

When O’Malley said she would head out and bring dinner to her husband, Hillen reminded her to come back and grab her Crockpot. She often replays that night in her head and wonders if that was the split second that could have saved her mother’s life.

Hillen doesn’t blame herself for what happened, she said, but it’s difficult not to wonder about the various ways everything could’ve played out differently.

She felt uneasy that night, but assumed it was because the weekend was over, and she had work the next day. So, she poured herself a glass of wine, folded laundry and worked on her mother’s Christmas gift - digitizing home videos she hadn’t seen in years.

Hillen wasn’t looking at her phone when she got a notification on her computer from her brother.

“Call me immediately.”

Within 30 minutes of leaving Hillen’s home, O’Malley’s vehicle had been struck by a drunk driver.

Just after 8 p.m. on Oct. 30, O’Malley was driving home near the intersection of West 95th Street and Moody Park Circle in Overland Park when a drunk driver crashed into her vehicle, according to an incident report from the Overland Park Police Department.

A suspect was charged with driving under the influence and second-degree murder. Hillen said she was told the driver was allegedly traveling more than double the speed limit and hit O’Malley from behind, propelling her car off the road so that it crashed into a power line. The impact was so hard that it threw the engine from the car.

O’Malley suffered significant brain damage. The crash traumatized almost every organ in her body, Hillen said.

For weeks, Hillen and her family visited the hospital and watched O’Malley’s condition fluctuate up and down.

“It was just an agonizing day to day, where you’re just sitting there watching your mom teeter between life and death,” Hillen said. “Every day was something new.”

After 40 days spent in the ICU and then hospice care, O’Malley died peacefully in her sleep on Dec. 8 surrounded by family. She was 62.

O’Malley loved being a mother and spending time with her two young granddaughters, Hillen said. A few times a week, they watched the girls at the playground, grocery shopped or ate dinner together, and they texted every day. Every time O’Malley came over, she had a surprise for the girls and could make up crafts and games that kept them entertained.

O’Malley had contagious positivity and “lit up a room,” Hillen said.

Messages of support

For years, Hillen knew O’Malley had helped take care of her kids, grandkids and husband and that she loved performing random acts of kindness, like paying for people behind her at the drive-thru or taping money to a pack of newborn diapers with a note that read “Good luck with your baby.”

“It wasn’t till I grew older that I realized a lot of things she did was not normal behavior, and I grew to appreciate her,” she said. “I think losing her just made us all more reflective of the kind of person she was and in awe of that. It makes me sad that I was never really able to tell her that I saw it and I appreciated it and actually acknowledge all of the things she did.”

But it wasn’t until she began documenting her mother’s journey in the ICU that she realized the number of times O’Malley had impacted someone’s life, without ever mentioning it.

If an old friend was going through a hard time, even if she hadn’t seen them in 10 years, O’Malley would send them a package that she called “a little box of hugs,” filled with small gifts to brighten their day. O’Malley offered copies of a book called “Jesus Calling: Enjoy Peace in His Presence” to anyone having a hard time, because it had comforted her when she needed it, too.

One woman who worked with O’Malley years ago messaged Hillen that she had gone through a bad relationship, was depressed and considered taking her life until O’Malley took notice that something was off and sat down to talk with her.

They became friends, and the woman told Hillen that O’Malley saved her life.

Others reached out to tell Hillen that O’Malley had helped them through some of the darkest parts of their lives too.

A man who runs a home for orphans and widows in Uganda also reached out over Facebook to share his condolences. Hillen had no idea her mother had financially supported the home for years and sent messages of support on social media.

As the orphanage expands and adds a new building, the man told Hillen he wants to get a plaque dedicating the space to O’Malley.

The flood of messages from people whose lives her mother touched was “overwhelming in the best way,” Hillen said. As she read the stories, Hillen said she wished she could’ve woken her mom and shared all the kind words with her.

But, she said, it was comforting for her father, brother and her to know that the impact O’Malley had went far beyond their family.

“I knew my mom was a good person.” Hillen said. “I knew she was kind to a lot of people and did things like this, but I didn’t realize the scale of it and how many people she had impacted.”

Hillen experienced firsthand how quickly drunk driving can change someone’s life. And, as people celebrate the new year, she said she hoped more people would think before they drive, consider utilizing services like Lyft or Uber and remember to live like O’Malley by impacting the lives of others for the better.

“One dumb decision,” she said, “can cause so much hurt.”

AAA shared tips for party goers ahead of the New Year’s Eve holiday, a time when impaired driving incidents shoot up across the country, to prevent driving while impaired.

Attendees should make a plan ahead of time for a designated driver, cab or ride-share service and consider staying overnight at a friend’s home or a hotel within walking distance of the party. Hosts can also make their parties safer by offering a list of numbers for local cab companies and organizations with designated driver services, have non-alcoholic drinks available for designated drivers and offer food so that party-goers don’t drink on an empty stomach.