What’s more boring than Raleigh? Dumb surveys that can’t see all the coolness here

Once again, the cool kids of the Internet have sized up Raleigh and let out a long, slow yawn, labeling us a Poindexter city devoid of fun.

This time, the swipe at our liveliness comes from Reddit users nationwide, who picked Raleigh as no. 5 on their list of Most Boring Cities.

Never mind the dinosaur bones, the Picasso, the Gandhi statue, Richard Petty’s stock car or the 70-foot globe on Jones Street downtown — all of which Raleigh museums show for free.

To the outside world, we’re as sizzling as a frozen steak.

Some good news: Houston, Phoenix and Indianapolis all score higher on the dull-o-meter. So does San Jose.

Some bad news: We lost to Omaha, Nebraska, the runner-up for Insurance Capital of the World.

Raleigh citizens with some age on them will recall when the Charlotte Observer’s Mark Washburn declared in 2015 that Raleigh ranked as a leading tech-hub because “there is simply nothing else to do.”

“A big night in Raleigh is driving out to a cow pasture on the edge of town to watch professional Canadians skate around with curved sticks and beat each other up,” Washburn wrote, placing himself atop Raleigh’s all-time, all-star dung heap. “It’s that or walking around the Cary mall.”

Keep Raleigh Boring, indeed

In response, you may also recall, that local merchants House of Swank developed a T-shirt with a finger aimed at the eye of the now-retired Charlotte scribe:

“Keep Raleigh Boring,” it read. I own one myself.

To be fair, if you landed in downtown Raleigh fresh off a bus from anywhere, the must-see attractions wouldn’t exactly leap out and grab your sleeve.

If you walk out the door from the Raleigh Convention Center, one of the first things you’ll spot on “North Carolina’s Main Street” is the long line at Jimmy John’s.

But to me, the heart of Raleigh beats harder for being a more difficult to find.

We may not have the art deco towers other cities slap on a postcard — the Empire State Buildings or the LA City Halls — but our Modernist houses sit tucked around the city like Easter eggs.

Our bridges can’t match the grandeur of Brooklyn or the Golden Gate, but you can paddle a kayak underneath while herons flap past on the Neuse River. Try that on the Hudson.

We may offer a smaller Mardi Gras party, a humbler Independence Day, and only an acorn drop an on New Year’s Eve. But nowhere else on Earth boasts a Krispy Kreme Challenge — Raleigh’s annual 5-mile race in which each runner scarfs a dozen doughnuts midway through.

I may not qualify as a judge of Raleigh’s nightlife, having outlived my night-owl days, but beyond the dome full of “professional Canadians,” I count the Durham Bulls, the Carolina Mudcats, the even-more-enjoyable Holly Springs Salamanders, North Carolina FC and NC Courage before Raleigh even starts naming its — ahem — college sports assets.

What do you want, Rio?

And not that this is brag-worthy, but last I checked Raleigh had a problem with its bar scene overflowing into the streets rather than offering too few spots to indulge. What do these Reddit users want, exactly? The Rio Carnival?

I have an editor friend who used to joke, “Raleigh is a great place to raise kids, which means it’s a crappy place to be an adult.”

But I think he’s offering a backward compliment:

As a city, we’re so full of smart people that the book clubs never want for membership, the community bands never suffer from empty chairs and the lecture tours sell out.

Maybe we’re so boring that it’s exciting.

The America’s Most Boring Cities survey was conducted among 600 users on the subreddit r/AskReddit by BetCarolina.com, a sports betting site.