Missouri’s Jason Kander is finally happy after therapy. Does he want a political future?

Before becoming a rising star on the national political scene, Jason Kander served a tour in Afghanistan as a U.S. Army intelligence officer in 2006. But when he returned home to Missouri, he was plagued with depression and suicidal thoughts brought on by untreated post-traumatic stress disorder.

In his new book “Invisible Storm: A Soldier’s Memoir of Politics and PTSD,” Kander, the former Missouri secretary of state who once flirted with a run for the U.S. presidency, provides intimate details about his struggles with mental health that abruptly forced him out of the public eye and to seek help in 2018. The book paints a portrait of a man whose career was rising at a meteoric rate but whose mental health was deteriorating just as fast.

“While my self-confidence never wavered, my self-esteem was dangerously low during that period,” Kander told The Star in a phone interview. “I felt lonely and distant and I didn’t like myself very much. And I have learned, in talking to other people from all walks of life, that that’s actually happening all over the place.”

Now, after receiving help through therapy, Kander says he’s finally present and enjoying his life. He said he wanted to write the book that he wished he had read when he returned from Afghanistan. Instead of common portrayals of untreated PTSD where combat veterans are seen abusing drugs or committing acts of violence — what he calls voyeurism or “PTSD porn” — he said he hoped to show people struggling with mental health that they can get better.

In his book, Kander writes that he concealed his internal struggles as his political career prospered. He served in the Missouri House from 2009 to 2013 before winning the race for Missouri secretary of state. In 2016, Kander narrowly lost the election for U.S. Senate against Republican incumbent Roy Blunt.

With the support of former U.S. President Barack Obama in 2017, Kander was viewed by many as the next big thing in the Democratic Party. But as he began to prep a run for the presidency, he made an abrupt decision to pivot and run for mayor of Kansas City in 2018.

A bigger announcement would come just months later when Kander shocked political observers by dropping out of the mayoral race to seek help for his untreated PTSD. He describes this moment in his book as “Rock Bottom.”

Kander’s intimate memoir details his complicated PTSD symptoms, including night terrors, self-loathing and the intrusive thought that he hadn’t done enough to “earn” his disorder. Throughout the book, Kander’s wife Diana also shares her point of view of helping her husband come to terms with his illness while also parenting the couple’s two children.

“When I look back on that period, I’m really glad that I took that leap of faith because I had no guarantees and I basically just put all my chips in the middle,” Kander told The Star about finally going to therapy. “I hoped to get happiness and good mental health back and I’m fortunate that I did.”

Kander said he’s in a much better place mentally after receiving help through therapy. He currently serves as president of national expansion at Veterans Community Project, a Kansas City-based non-profit organization that provides housing to homeless veterans. He also founded the voting rights group Let America Vote in 2017 and sits on the board of directors of Giffords, a group founded by former Rep. Gabrielle Giffords that seeks to end gun violence.

Where others see a politician who once had his eyes set on the nation’s highest office, Kander said he views himself as a father, husband and little league baseball coach from Kansas City who’s focused on living in the present instead of planning his future.

“You know, you have down moments and you have up moments, but I just want to keep being there for all of it,” he said. “And, along the way, I’d like to make an impact, but the difference is now I don’t define my happiness based on the impact I make or the perception of that impact.”

However, he said he is concerned about the rise in gun violence in the U.S. in the wake of several high profile mass shootings. He said he believes the Protection of Lawful Commerce in Arms Act needs to be repealed to hold gun companies liable for shootings.

Kander said he’s also worried about efforts by state legislatures to make it harder for citizens to vote — what he referred to as a “huge power struggle happening on planet Earth between authoritarianism and democracy.” Last week in Missouri, Republican Gov. Mike Parson signed into law a bill that requires voters to show a photo ID at the ballot box despite pushback from voting rights advocates.

Asked whether he has any future political plans, Kander said he’s OK with not knowing what he wants to do next.

“At some point it’s possible that my wife and I will decide that the way we want to make an impact is by running for office — maybe mayor, maybe president — who knows,” he said.

“If it happens, it’s going to be at a time where there’s not homework to help with or little league to coach. And it may never happen. Or it may. I don’t know.”