Will military funeral honors cease to exist? Concerns rise as many veterans age
When Michelle Ray sits in her rocking chair in her West Jefferson living room, she feels her late husband Tom Ray all around her.
She feels him in the framed, folded American flag Army servicemembers presented to her at his January interment. In a blanket embroidered with "Always Our Hero" and his name on it. And in a patriotic quilt a local church group made to honor his service as an Army veteran who served in Vietnam.
But Michelle Ray also wants to feel like he’s with her when she leaves the home they shared. That's why she carries the metal casings from two spent rifle cartridges nestled in a pocket of her purse, given to her by the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) honor guard after they did a three-volley gun salute at graveside in honor of his service.
"When I leave, the shells represent him. So he's with me," Ray said. "I like knowing they're there. ... It makes me feel close to him."
Veterans organizations nationwide are struggling with shrinking membership and declining honor guard numbers at the same time veterans of World War II, Korea and Vietnam are aging and passing away — leaving fewer people to honor deceased veterans like Tom Ray at their funerals.
A period of decline
VFW membership nationally decreased by almost 48% over the past 20 years, from more than 1.8 million members in 2003 to just over 957,00 in 2023.
Membership in the American Legion, the largest wartime veterans service organization, which also has an honor guard, decreased by more than 25% over the past 20 years, from around 2.7 million members in 2003 to almost 2 million today.
The aging membership rolls continue to lose veterans, and there are fewer veterans in recent decades that have served on foreign soils, a requirement to join the VFW.
More than 8.7 million people served in the Vietnam War, but conflicts since then — the Gulf, Iraq and Afghanistan wars — saw a total of about 3 million service members, according to the U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs.
Hilliard VFW Post 4931 Cmdr. Gretchen Klingler said VFWs are struggling to gain younger members, in part because of misconceptions by those veterans that it's only a place to drink, smoke and tell war stories. There's more to the VFW, she said, noting the organization does community service, fosters comraderie and a sense of belonging, and connects veterans to young people.
"There's so much more to the community than what people realize," Klingler said.
Tom Ray was a Hilliard VFW post commander twice over, and a dedicated member of the honor guard for decades.
He participated until he was no longer physically able to, his wife of 51 years said. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's in relation to his exposure to Agent Orange while serving in the Army in Vietnam.
The possibility that VFW honor guards may cease to exist weighs heavily on Michelle Ray, since having a guard at her husband's funeral was so important to her, their two sons and five grandchildren. She wants all families of veterans to be able to get military funeral honors, including a three-volley salute (similar to a 21-gun salute, which is reserved for heads of state like current and former presidents), the playing of taps and the folding and presentation of the American flag, to honor their loved ones' service.
"I would like younger veterans to be a part of the VFW and to help keep the honor guard going because, unfortunately, if they don't, your older generation can only keep it going for so long," she said.
The VFW doesn't track how many posts have an honor guard since it's all a volunteer-driven effort. But the posts with honor guards often cover large geographic areas, said Lynn W. Rolf III, programs director for the Veterans of Foreign Wars of the U.S.
The Hilliard VFW Post 4931 post has had an honor guard for more than 30 years and members perform when military representatives from the appropriate branch of service can't do it, Rolf said.
"We fill two purposes," Rolf said, of the VFW honor guard. "One is honoring our dead by helping the living. We're comforting the family of that veteran that served our country, helping the surviving spouses and, of course, war orphans. When the military can't perform it, we're able to step right in and provide the same or in conjunction with them to provide that veteran one last final salute to their service to our country."
A passionate VFW post
The Hilliard VFW post still has passionate honor guard members, but sometimes they can't get enough people — at least seven — to do the gun salutes at funerals. If they don't have enough people, they ask one of the nearby American Legion posts to help out.
There are about 391 Hilliard VFW post members, but not all of them are as active as a small core group, said Martin Sutton, 62, of Hilliard, the post's senior vice commander. Just about a dozen local members make up the honor guard. To participate, members need VFW-provided uniform shirts, belts and hats and must learn the precise movements.
"There's a small group of people who stand up and are actually willing to do things," Sutton said.
The honor guard does more than funerals, including placing flags on graves for Memorial Day, marching in parades, doing flag-raisings, and educating young people about the military.
For the past several decades, the post has depended on Vietnam veterans, but they are now dying, said Sutton, a Desert Storm veteran who partakes in the honor guard. He served in the Ohio Army National Guard from 1979 to 2019 and retired as a chief warrant officer.
"Vietnam veterans are the ones who brought back patriotism in the United States," he said.
Because the Hilliard post has an honor guard when many others don't, its dozen or so members are willing to travel far — one member said they'd go to Timbuktu as the saying goes for long, difficult journeys. Though they haven't literally gone to the ancient city in Mali, they've traveled as far as Dayton and Zanesville to honor Ohio veterans.
"It's up to us; it's our responsibility to give that same service and care back to any veteran, not just VFW members," said Paul Ritzenthaler, a 74-year-old member of the honor guard.
'It does take me back and it's tough'
The presentation of military funeral honors is physically and emotionally demanding, Rolf said.
"The emotional toll weighs on that honor guard, and it is tough to get enough volunteers to do it and put themselves in that position to do it," he said.
The voluntary effort can be hard for some veterans to do. The funerals are often held during the workday, Rolf said, and the playing of taps and the shots for the gun salute can trigger PTSD for some.
"Anytime I hear taps or I see a folded flag, I think back to my guys that were killed in Iraq," said Rolf, a veteran who served in Iraq as part of the Army military police from 1997 to 2005. "It does take me back, and it's tough."
Those memories and associated trauma from reliving those moments can make it hard for honor guard members to focus on the families that have lost a loved one, Rolf said.
But the honor guard's presence and the military funeral honors they bestow can be incredibly important to the family.
"It's closure," Rolf said. "Even though they have lost their veteran ... when you're presented that flag to represent your veteran's service and can reflect back on what that veteran has done for their country, it's just a nice commemoration."
Rolf said the honor guard's presence celebrates their loved one and shows the honor, duty and sacrifice veterans like their family member have given.
"They see the respect for their loved ones," Sutton said.
Kenneth King, 56, an Army veteran who served during the "Cold War" of political tension between the U.S. and Soviet Union that began in 1947 and ended with the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, said a lot of things go through his mind when he helps perform military honors at funerals.
"You have to maintain your military composure" while presenting the flag to a widow, said King, who participates in the Hilliard VFW honor guard. "You don't want to break down, because it just makes it harder for her."
The playing of taps can be emotional for members of the honor guard even if they don't know the person who died, said Jim Thorpe, 71, sergeant of the Hilliard VFW honor guard and an auxiliary member of the post. Auxiliary members are related to someone who served overseas. Thorpe can be a member because his father, Thomas Thorpe, served in the Navy during World War II.
"It's just the pride, the pride I have for them and what they did for us," Thorpe said of the emotions that wash over him while presenting honors to a deceased veteran's family.
Before each funeral, honor guard members gather early to practice the movements, Thorpe's booming voice shouting out the commands.
Afterward, they pick up the spent casings from the three-volley salute and give them to the family members of the fallen.
"I hope they're honored," Thorpe said of what the group does at funerals. "Hopefully they're proud to be an American."
'He deserves it'
Tom Ray didn't talk much about his time in the military, but his intense participation in the post and the honor guard was enough proof for Michelle Ray to know he was proud of his service.
When it came to planning his funeral, she asked her sons whether they should invite the honor guard to pay tribute.
"He was a no-muss, no-fuss person," Michelle Ray said. "He didn't want a lot of celebration. But when he passed, talking to our sons, it was like, 'He deserves it.'"
When the Hilliard VFW post asked for honor guard members for Tom Ray's funeral, the "response was enormous," she said.
Instead of the typical seven or eight volunteers, there must have been at least 15, Michelle Ray said.
"I guess we were trying to give him a good sendoff," she said, tearing up.
Tom Ray was particular about making sure each member's shoes and pants were regulation when he was a part of it, Michelle Ray said. He asked Thorpe to take over the honor guard and recruit others when he no longer could do it.
On a recent day at the post, she and Thorpe laughed over how the shoes he wore that day wouldn't have gotten past Tom Ray's inspection, since they weren't polished.
An auxiliary member of the post herself for decades, Michelle Ray said she can't hear taps without crying. At her husband's funeral, she jumped a bit when the first gunshot rang out as part of the three-gun salute.
Seeing people she's known for so long present honors at her husband's funeral made her emotional.
"I was proud," she said. "I knew how much they cared for Tom and how much they respected him."
She wants other widows and loved ones to get the same respect and feel the same pride.
"They need to be honored for their service," she said, of veterans.
On the day of her husband's interment, Michelle Ray tucked the metal casings from the rifle salute into her purse, and there they have remained.
Her grandchildren and her two sons also have some of the casings. Her oldest grandson put one on the top of his door frame and touches it each time he leaves the house.
"I feel very fortunate," Ray said of being able to pay tribute to her husband at his funeral. "I couldn't think of a better way to honor him."
Rolf doesn't want to think about what would be lost without honor guards presenting military funeral honors.
"If a veteran is laid to rest and there's no final honor rendered, it would be a dagger in my heart and just a travesty," he said.
@DanaeKing
This article originally appeared on The Columbus Dispatch: As veterans age, will there be honors for fallen heroes at funerals?
