Micro-cheating
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/ˈmaɪ.kroʊ tʃiːtiŋ/
Most of us can agree on what cheating in a relationship is: being intimate with another person. But a new term, micro-cheating, has complicated that once black-and-white behavior. It’s like a bite-size version (or a hint) of infidelity—an act committed by someone in a relationship that makes the other party question their partner’s dedication. Examples are highly subjective, but micro-cheating could be anything from not wearing a wedding ring in public to communicating (in secret) with an ex-flame.
Would-be platonic relationships make micro-cheating especially difficult to put a finger on. Is it shady to have dinner with a close friend of the opposite sex? What if you don’t mention it to your other half? What if someone is flirting with you and you don’t disclose that you have a partner? “These things live in weird gray areas,” says Matthew Hussey, a dating coach and author of Love Life. “If there’s a pattern, it has the potential to make us feel unsafe in the relationship.” To prevent this, he suggests having an honest conversation about what behaviors you and your partner are comfortable with, and what behaviors feel like betrayal. “What says ‘loyalty’ to you? What says ‘integrity’? These little transgressions become a problem long-term if you don’t talk about them and understand your deeper values,” he says.
How to start that convo? Rather than accusing your partner of something, focus on your feelings: “I saw you liking hot pics, and it made me feel strange.” Then you can set healthy boundaries together—and reset them, as needed.
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