Miami Herald reveals annual NFL Team Rankings for 2022. Wait ... the Dolphins rank WHERE!? | Opinion

“Drinking the Kool-Aid” is an expression that refers to person who believes in a possibly doomed or dangerous idea because of perceived potential high rewards. Can also be used ironically to refer to accepting an idea or changing a preference due to popularity.

I have done it. I have drank deeply from the round, chilled glass pitcher with the creepy face on it. Not certain the flavor, but the color was aqua. Now a strange feeling has come over me. Very strange. But it is not so much a feeling as a certainty, a faith.

The Miami Dolphins will be really, really good.

Admittedly those rank among the least-heard parade of eight words ever, or at least since, “That role should win Adam Sandler an Oscar.” Few around the NFL believe that (about Sandler or the Dolphins). ESPN’s Football Power Index computer gives Miami only the 22nd-best percentage chance of making the playoffs, for example.

We will get to our astonishingly high regard for Miami shortly as we toast King Sport’s 103rd season with our latest NFL Team Rankings, an annual attempt to rate the teams from No. 1 to rock-bottom 32.

Last year we did OK. Seven of our top 14-rated teams went on to make the playoffs, including our top four. We had the eventual Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams ranked No. 3. Time to do even better!

Our 2022 ranking (with ‘21 record, regular season and playoffs when applicable, in parenthesis):

SUPER BOWL FAVORITES

▪ 1. Buffalo Bills (11-6, 1-1): This is further evidence the Dolphins might be cursed. Patriots’ stranglehold on AFC East finally ends with Tom Brady’s departure ... only to see immediate rise of Josh Allen and Buffalo as a next-gen nemesis. Star CB Tre’Davious White’s injury is a hiccup, but having No. 1-ranked fantasy QB and No. 1-ranked defense is stout formula for a Super Bowl favorite.

▪ 2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (13-4, 1-1): Todd Bowles is a Jets survivor and before that was Dolphins assistant in 2008-11. Now he is one of 10 new NFL head coaches — and the one in most enviable position. “Todd, all we can offer you is Tom Brady and a great defense. You interested?” The G.O.A.T. is 45 and in his 23rd season but age-impervious to all whispers about decline. Brady’s August leave of absence for personal reasons gives us pause, but no cause as of this writing to think it will impact season.

▪ 3. Los Angeles Rams (12-5, 4-0): No NFL champion has won back-to-back since New England in 2003-04, and Rams must get through league’s toughest schedule (foes a combined .567). Don’t discount it, though. Adding ex-Bear Allen Robinson is a gift to Matthew Stafford. Also: Aaron Donald!

▪ 4. Green Bay Packers (13-4, 0-1): Trading star WR Davante Adams and replacing him with what’s left of Sammy Watkins is the new definition of downgrade. But if anyone can overcome that Aaron Rodgers can. Getting Pro Bowl LT David Bakhtiari back healthy is key. Meantime Gee Bees’ defense could be best they’ve had in years.

▪ 5. MIAMI DOLPHINS (9-8): I’ll have seconds on that Kool-Aid, please! Dolphins should be really good after stacking dynamic offseason on top of club’s first back-to-back winning years since 2002-03. Megatrade for The Cheetah, Tyreek Hill, will help unlock Tua Tagovailoa’s latent potential. So will improved O-line led by big free agent get Terron Armstead. So will beefed-up ground game led by Chase Edmonds and super-fast Raheem Mostert under auspices of run-game-whisperer Mike McDaniel, the new head coach. And defense should be win-quality led by continuing ascension of young stars such as Christian Wilkins, Jaelan Phillips and Jevon Holland. Miami has brutal four-game gauntlet to start season — vs. Patriots, at Ravens, vs. Bills, at Bengals — that could quickly justify or disprove my high estimation. But I will take thirds now on that Kool-Aid, thanks. Miami is headed to its best season and first playoff win since 2000 despite its owner, Stephen Ross, whose ham-handed infatuation with Brady brought an NFL tampering penalty that got him fined and suspended and cost his team two draft picks including a ‘23 first-rounder.

PLAYOFF CONTENDERS

▪ 6. San Francisco 49ers (10-7, 2-1): The Kyle Shanahan magic the Dolphins hope rubbed off on Mike McDaniel and top-five defense underpin Niners’ high hopes. But so much depends on blossom of second-year QB Trey Lance, now The Anointed One ahead of Jimmy Garoppolo. If Lance is all that, SF could reign in NFC. If.

▪ 7. Baltimore Ravens (8-9): See major rebound for Crows, whose tailspin last year after 5-1 start can be blamed on NFL’s worst plague of injuries. With better health, a top-10 defense and QB Lamar Jackson playing to get the megacontract he wants, watch Baltimore reassert itself in AFC North.

▪ 8. Los Angeles Chargers (9-8): I know. Justin Herbert yada yada. But it’s improvement on defense that lifts Bolts this high. LAC signed the most-wanted CB in free agency in J.C. Jackson, and made big trade to pair Khalil Mack with Joey Bosa — both difference-making moves.

▪ 9. Kansas City Chiefs (12-5, 2-1): Patrick Mahomes suffers from departure of Tyreek Hill, but you would still be foolish to pass up Mahomes in your fantasy draft for any QB but (maybe) Josh Allen. Worry more about KC’s just-OK defense, although a bounceback by DE Frank Clark would help in what has become very tough division.

▪ 10. Denver Broncos (7-10): Major trade for nine-time Pro Bowl QB Russell Wilson alone accounts for Broncs’ top-10 rank, a gift for new coach Nathaniel Hackett. A defense third in fewest points allowed kept Denver in games last year, but — although Teddy Bridgewater, now Miami’s backup, wasn’t bad — Wilson is huge upgrade.

▪ 11. Cincinnati Bengals (10-7, 3-1): Yes I remember. Bengals made Super Bowl last season (words I never thought would cross my mind or lips). But I saw Cincy as overachiever and now see Gals at risk for downturn. Defense is average, and there are three new offensive line starters including unreliable La’el Collins protecting Joe Burrow and his surgically repaired appendix.

▪ 12. Philadelphia Eagles (9-8, 0-1): Dual-threat, fantasy-friendly QB Jalen Hurts is poised for breakout year in second full season starting, behind top-notch offensive line. That and solid offseason give Philly edge now in NFC East. Birds made defensive upgrades, and signing WR A.J. Brown to pair with DeVonta Smith will further help Hurts.

▪ 13. Dallas Cowboys (12-5, 0-1): With Amari Cooper gone and with it now questionable whether Ezekiel Elliott is anything special, I don’t see many weapons around Dak Prescott beyond CeeDee Lamb. But solid O-line and defense, and playing Washington and Giants four times, keeps Boys in hunt.

▪ 14. Indianapolis Colts (9-8): He’s a clear upgrade over Carson Wentz, but how much does Matt Ryan have left at 37? (You can still ask that of any aging QB not named Brady.) Answer: Behind a solid line and backed by a really good defense, enough to make Colts chase playoffs in extremely winnable division.

▪ 15. Arizona Cardinals (11-6, 0-1): Next Super Bowl is in Glendale, Arizona. Don’t count on Cardbirds being in it. Zona wrapped up QB Kyler Murray with new contract then had to pretend that film-study clause didn’t exist. Ouch. Cards are third-best in tough division, and DeAndre Hopkins’ six-game suspension won’t help.

▪ 16. New Orleans Saints (9-8): Return to health of WR Michael Thomas after two lost seasons will be huge lift if it lasts, especially to Jameis Winston. Also need rebound season from Alvin Kamara. But new head coach Dennis Allen has plenty to work with, starting with a top-five defense.

▪ 17. Las Vegas Raiders (10-7, 0-1): Derek Carr gets an elite target with addition of Davante Adams, and adding Chandler Jones should really beef up pass rush. But not sure that bad O-line can give Carr time, and Vegas still looks like fourth-best squad in tough division for new coach Josh McDaniels.

▪ 18. New England Patriots (10-7, 0-1): Bill Belichick gonna be Bill Belichick, but departure of offensive chief Josh McDaniels could be an issue that stunts development of sophomore QB Mac Jones. Looks like long climb to 10 wins again if Pats are third best in AFC East as I suspect they will be.

THE ALSO-RANS

▪ 19. Minnesota Vikings (8-9): The four also-rans (sounds like a doo-wop group) are teams capable of sniffing playoffs, but not a good bet. No-vax Kirk Cousins can still bring it but has been unable to lift Vikes out of their pretty-good-but-not-good-enough rut, and don’t see that changing under new coach Kevin O’Connell.

▪ 20. Cleveland Browns (8-9): Deshaun Watson’s suspension increase from six games to 11 is devastating for Cleveland, with drop-off to Jacoby Brissett severe. (There was Jimmy Garopollo trade speculation at this writing.) Trade noise from RB Kareem Hunt also has brought discord. Browns’ soul-selling investment in the serial creep Watson does not deserve reward, and they won’t get it.

▪ 21. Pittsburgh Steelers (9-7-1, 0-1): Post-Ben Roethlisberger era faces a thud beginning. Borderline top-10 defense gives Steelers fighting chance, but Mitch Trubisky behind a bad blocking front is not the offensive starting point you want.

▪ 22. Tennessee Titans (12-5, 0-1): From No. 1 AFC seed to no playoffs. Yes that is the steep fall we predict for old friend Ryan Tannehill. Derrick Henry is coming off foot injury that cost him half a season, departure of A.J. Brown hurts and this D isn’t good enough.

▪ 23. Detroit Lions (3-13-1): Lions were fun on “Hard Knocks” as coach Dan (Man) Campbell keeps busting the kneecaps of others in macho-quotes game. Jared Goff is Jared Goff but he has stout O-line and some weapons. See Detroit on slow climb from putrid to mediocre.

THE DREGS

▪ 24. Washington Commanders (7-10): Commanders nickname got lukewarm reception, assistant coach Jack Del Rio got fined for seeming to support Jan. 6 storming of U.S. Capitol, Dan Snyder ownership continued a quagmire, and somebody decided Carson Wentz was upgrade over Taylor Heinicke. Not a great offseason for team repping D.C.

▪ 25. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-14): Trevor Lawrence, first pick of 2021 draft, had rough rookie year. There’s buzz about a breakout Year 2, but I don’t see a lot of dynamic weapons around him, or a defense good enough to alleviate pressure on him to score big.

▪ 26. New York Giants (4-13): Another year spinning wheels with Daniel Jones and subpar defense is not a lot to inherit for new coach Brian Daboll. And RB Saquon Barkley has mostly disappointed since he was Rookie of Year in 2018. Do we trust he can be healthy comeback kid Biggies desperately need?

▪ 27. Carolina Panthers (5-12): Baker Mayfield beat Sam Darnold for QB job in battle of retreads, and there’s bit of a decent arsenal to work with. Healthy season from RB Christian McCaffrey would give Cats a shot, but they’re still no better than distant third in division.

▪ 28. New York Jets (4-13): QB Zach Wilson could be back from knee injury for opener, but his lousy rookie year makes you wonder if backup Joe Flacco would give Planes better chance. NYJ had league’s worst defense last year, and top OT Mekhi Becton is out injured for season.

▪ 29. Chicago Bears (6-11): Second-year QB Justin Fields has fantasy buzz as dual-threat guy, but based on rookie year (seven TDs, 10 picks), his arm needs to catch up to his legs. And league’s worst offensive line is major issue. Could be long season for rookie head coach Matt Eberflus.

▪ 30. Atlanta Falcons (7-10): Veteran defensive coordinator Dean Pees promises much-improved D. But is anyone promising Falcons won’t miss departed Matt Ryan because Marcus Mariota is so good? Mariota was second overall pick in 2015, but that’s long time and lot of disappointment ago.

▪ 31. Seattle Seahawks (7-10): Get past long-held habit of thinking Seahawks are good or Pete Carroll can coach away all the problems. It’s more than departure of QB Russell Wilson that jettisons Seattle to Dregsville, with Geno Smith (!) taking over. Hawks have been in decline for a while.

▪ 32. Houston Texans (4-13): Let post-Deshaun Watson rebuild begin. It’s tough spot for new coach Lovie Smith, especially with that god-awful run defense. Davis Mills is not the QB Watson is. On the bright side, we assume he at least has much better comportment.