Hoda reflects on ‘one of the most important lessons’ she learned after daughter Hope got sick

Hoda Kotb is opening up about how she gained some invaluable perspective after supporting her daughter Hope through a health scare last year.

During an appearance on "The Drew Barrymore Show" this week, the TODAY co-anchor opened up about the "really difficult time" her family went through while Hope, now 5, was ill and shared "one of the most important lessons" she learned throughout the process.

"After we went through what we went through, I realized that we are stronger as a family than I ever imagined. My heart’s ability to expand is beyond measure. I thought I'd loved Hope as much as I possibly could," she said.

Hoda then shared a noteworthy lesson she learned during this time.

"Someone said this to me, and I never forgot it, 'Don't put your worry on your child. Don't look at your child that way, the way that they are afraid, like, "Something's wrong. Something's wrong with me."' So I remembered that and it's been an exercise," she said.

Hoda echoed this message during a new episode of her podcast, "Making Space," while talking to bestselling author Arthur Brooks, and explained that she's "trying hard" to avoid placing her worry on Hope's shoulders.

"I was diagnosed with breast cancer years ago. I know the look I got. I hated the look," she explained of her experience after revealing her diagnosis in 2007.

“You don’t want to be the victim," Brooks said. "People treat victims differently. And your parents treating you like a victim ... "

"That’s what I’m trying to figure out how to navigate because I want to make sure she’s good. But at the same time, 90% of the time, there’s nothing to worry about," Hoda replied.

Hoda's kids are a central part of her life. Hoda adopted her daughters, Haley and Hope, and has been open about her journey into motherhood.

In a 2021 interview on People's “Me Becoming Mom," the 58-year-old said that she didn't "even remember who was carrying" Haley, because "all I could see was her."

“They put her in my arms … she fit like she was born there. I looked down and these eyes were looking at me and I thought to myself, ‘Forever, for as long as I am breathing, you will be protected and loved and cared for," the TODAY co-host said at the time.

“She felt like mine right then,” Hoda continued. “It didn’t take any time. It happened instantly for me.”

Hoda Kotb was 52 years old when she had her first child, Haley, via adoption in 2017.

Two years later, Hoda adopted her daughter, Hope.

"Oh my gosh you guys, first of all she’s laying on the Boppy pillow right now and I’m feeding her and I can’t believe it," Hoda said, through tears, on the TODAY Show while introducing the arrival of her second daughter in 2019.

"I’m so happy she’s here," the co-host joyfully added at the time.

The proud mom shares her two children with her ex-fiancé, Joel Schiffman.

Here's everything you need to know about the TODAY co-host Hoda Kotb's children.

Haley Joy, 7

Hoda Kotb surprised TODAY viewers in 2017 when she announced that she had adopted her first child, baby girl Haley, after she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2007.

Hoda was 52 years old when she adopted Haley.

“She’s a Valentine’s baby so she’s a little nugget,” Hoda said while calling into the TODAY Show in 2017. “She is the love of my life!”

Hoda revealed that she had named her now 7-year-old daughter Haley after Halley’s comet, which can only be seen from Earth once every 70 years.

“It was one of those things: I just picture her sailing through the sky,” Hoda said at the time.

Haley's middle name, Joy, was picked because of the emotion she brings to her family.

"She brings us joy," Hoda said. "She's got a beautiful way about her."

Haley's first name also continues a longstanding family alliteration Hoda shares with her sister, Hala, and her niece, Hannah.

In 2018, Hoda published a new book dedicated to her daughter Haley, titled: “I’ve Loved You Since Forever.”

The title of the book was inspired by the very phrase Hoda used to write in her journal, long before she met her daughter Haley.

“When I was waiting for you, hoping for you, wishing for you, I wrote down, ‘I’ve loved you since forever,’ because I loved you before you were born. And we were going to find each other,” Hoda said at the time.

In preparation for her second Mother's Day in 2018, Hoda told People the one word she loves to hear from her daughter: "mama."

"I don’t think there’s a sweeter single word I’ve ever heard in my life than that,” Hoda said at the time. “She holds onto you and doesn’t let go. Most kids, when you cuddle them, they squirm away. She’s like, ‘No, no. I like it here.’”

Hope Catherine, 5

Two years after Hoda adopted Haley, she surprised TODAY viewers once again when she announced she had adopted a second daughter, Hope.

"I’m feeding her, and I can’t believe it,’’ a tearful Hoda said while calling into the Show in 2019. “I’m so happy she’s here!”

The TODAY co-anchor said big sister Haley, who was 2 at the time, instantly took to her new role as an older sibling.

“This morning at breakfast, (Haley) was trying to feed (Hope) her raspberries, and I was like, ‘Not yet, babe,’’’ Hoda joked with her TODAY family at the time. “She was literally marching around saying, ‘I’m a big sister!’’’

During the emotional announcement, Hoda shared that she had thought she had been "full" with Joel, whom she was dating at the time, and her daughter Haley.

“That’s exactly how I felt with Haley and Joel and everything," she said. "Joel and I were standing there when they hand you the baby, and it’s the closest thing to a live birth you’ll ever see, but in that moment, I was like, ‘Oh, my God, my heart just grew.’ It’s amazing. I can’t believe it’s happening.”

Hope's name was inspired by Hoda's yearning to have another child, she said, adding that the word "hope" appeared in her journal "about ten million times" when she would write about her desire to have a second child.

“The name came because there are a lot of women out there who are hoping that their day is coming too, and I know the feeling of it not happening for a long time,” she said.

The anchor gave Hope the middle name of Catherine in honor of her best friend Karen Swensen's daughter, Catherine.

In March, 2023, Hoda took a brief hiatus from the show to deal with a "family health matter." When she returned to Studio 1A, she revealed she had been caring for Hope, who had been hospitalized with an illness.

“My youngest, Hope, was in the ICU for a few days and in the hospital for a little more than a week,” Hoda said at the time. “I’m so grateful she’s home. She is back home. I was waiting for that day to come. And we are watching her closely. I’m just so happy.”

Five months later, Hoda announced she had written a third book, "Hope is Like a Rainbow," in honor of her second daughter.

"It was based on my daughter, who of course I had dreamt of her and hoped for her and her name just fell in,” Hoda said when announcing the book on TODAY on Aug. 2, 2023. “It just reminds me — and she just reminds me — that hope is all around every corner. No matter what you go through, no matter what hardship you endure, there she is.”

While announcing her book, Hoda gave a brief update on Hope's health.

“I wrote this a while ago, before Hope was, you know, got sick and is on the mend and all that stuff,” the TODAY co-anchor said.

Is Hoda adopting a third child?

As Hoda continues to share her parenting journey with others, she has been candid about the possibility of adopting a third child.

In 2021, during an appearance on “Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen," the TODAY co-host gave an update on the adoption process at the time.

“You know what’s funny about the adoption stuff that’s going on now, apparently it’s really slow during this time, during COVID,” she said. “I thought it would be a different game.

"They said that a lot of people who maybe would normally feel like it would be something they’d want to do, have a child and then give it to someone to raise because they couldn’t, are holding onto things because they don’t have anything in that moment," Hoda added. "So that’s what I’ve heard from our agency, everything’s slow, but they say wait wisely and just be, so we’re just going to be.”

In January of 2022, Hoda announced on TODAY that she and Schiffman had broken up after an 8-year relationship, and that they would remain as co-parents to their two daughters.

That same year, in a interview with People, Hoda said that while the adoption process was delayed, she still had hopes for a third child.

"It’s definitely in the universe for me,” she said. “I feel like whatever is meant to be is meant to be. But I know a few things. I have love and time, and we have an open space.”

This article was originally published on TODAY.com