‘I’m so tired of feeling helpless as a parent': This Gen X mom went viral explaining why her hardworking adult kids still can't afford to live, the difference between 'struggle and drowning'
Yet another parent has realized that the American dream has slowly turned into the American nightmare.
Jess (@that1crazy72), who goes by “Gen X Jess,” took to TikTok to vent her frustration about financial challenges faced by her son and daughter, who she says aren’t getting the same opportunities she had.
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“I’m so tired of feeling helpless as a parent,” she laments in the video, which has garnered over 14.5 million views. And the comments below the video highlight how many other Generation X parents are struggling with the same frustration as they watch their children cope with the unique challenges they face these days.
The world has changed
Jess’s children are grown — 28 and 25 years old at the time the video was recorded — but both adults seem to be struggling financially due to today’s exorbitant cost of living.
She says her monthly mortgage payments are half as much as her daughter’s, even though both loans are of equal value. Meanwhile, her son has struggled to move out and find his own place some 10 months after starting a full-time job following college graduation.
Both adult kids have also struggled with unexpected costs associated with their home and health insurance, Jess says.
“I thought that by teaching them what I learned — that you work hard and get a good job, you’ll get what you want,” she says. “Worked for me, why wouldn’t it work for them? Well, it doesn’t because the world has f—ing changed.”
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It’s not just that it’s hard
Jess acknowledges that struggling to get ahead is a natural part of life. But she distinguishes between struggling decades ago, when she was young, and struggling today. Jess claims she could afford to live on her own in her 20s despite making less than $10 an hour at the time.
“We struggled but we knew there was light at the end of the tunnel,” she says. “Now, you need to be making a six-figure salary to get a decent, tiny place to live.”
Jess says she believes younger workers now face unique challenges. “There’s a difference between struggling and drowning. … Kids today, no matter how much they struggle, they seem to be sinking further to the point of drowning.”
She goes on to suggest that the structure of the economy has made socio-economic classes irrelevant: “There used to be a lower, middle and upper class. Now it seems like there’s an ultra-wealthy class and everyone else is just poor.”
Several commenters seem to agree. “We have a 18,16,14 yr old. And I’m so scared for them,” says TikTok user Zoey’s Delights. “The only thing I can think of is generational living. Buy land. Tiny homes?”
Another commenter, Jamie, says she’s worried about her 16-year-old. “I moved out and lived on my own as soon as I turned 18. There isn’t any way he’ll be able to.”
"The highest-income households now earn almost 5 times as much as a household in the middle and 30 times as much as a household near the bottom, far higher ratios than 50 years ago," according to a report by the Minneapolis Fed. "The middle-bottom ratio has also grown, but less—roughly from 4 to 6."
What can parents do?
Gen X parents face an uphill battle to help their families. Nevertheless, there might be ways to assist adult children with the rising cost of living.
Setting up a house fund for them or investing on behalf of your children early may help them with a down payment when the housing market is ripe for them to take their first step.
You could also consider making space for multigenerational living. Home renovations, adding extra space to your existing property, or converting a garage or laneway into a tiny home could provide an independent unit for adult children.
In a follow-up video, Jess says if she’d known this was how things would go, that’s what she would have done for her kids too.
Ultimately, she encourages parents to recognize that the world has changed. “It’s not 1988 anymore,” she says. While it might seem like having your kids at home still at 25 feels like they’re failing, Jess emphasizes that it’s the system that’s failing young people these days.
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This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
