Mom Shares Why She's Over Goody Bags at Birthday Parties

I used to spend so much time and money making goody bags for my child's birthday parties. Here's why I decided to stop handing them out—and why you should too.

Fact checked by Karen CilliFact checked by Karen Cilli

If every party has a pooper, I suppose it was me. At least, if we're talking about kids' birthday parties—specifically the junk-filled goody bags at those parties. I used to spend so much time and money making goody bags for my child's birthday parties. Not only are kids' goody bags expensive to create, but they are full of waste.

Below, I break down why I'm no longer investing in goody bags for my kids' birthday parties—and why you should, too.

Kids' Birthday Parties Are Too Expensive Now

I hate to be "that mom," the one who goes all "back in my day," but back in my day birthday parties were fairly low-key events. It typically consisted of spending time with friends and family, playing a few games, enjoying cake and presents—and everyone went home happy.

The birthday parties I remember are simple. It was rare for average parents to spend $500 on a venue, or hours upon hours cultivating a specific theme. And there were certainly no expectations of goody bags. Kids would go to a friend's house to play for a few hours and typically enjoyed pizza and cake before heading home.

That's been lost in our generation of parenting, though, where many kids now expect extravagant themes and a gift thanking them for attending. Even worse, the goody bags and party favors we tend to give kids for attending are things no one needs. Cheap plastic knickknacks or more sweets. Whose idea was this? Here are a few reasons why I think goody bags should be a thing of the past.

Goody bags are costly

It already costs so much to execute a child's birthday party and goody bags just add to that expense. For my daughter's first six birthday parties, I swallowed my objections, and I did what everyone else was doing: I made the goody bags.

I set aside an extra $50 to $100 to purchase bags and party favors to put in the bags. I attached balloons to them, and I handed them out as a thank you to kids for attending a party that had already cost me hundreds of dollars.

Related: Mom Asks Guests to Pay a Cover Charge for Her Child's Birthday Party

Goody bags are wasteful

I found I hated bringing home the goody bags from other kids' parties just as much. I tend to be a bit of a minimalist as a mom and finding those cheap plastic toys, random stickers, or temporary tattoos all over the house was enough to make my skin crawl.

Of course, my daughter was super excited about her goody bag prizes initially. But that excitement always faded 10 minutes in. And then I was left collecting those random items from around the house as soon as she abandoned them. It seemed like such a waste.

Parents Are Tired of Goody Bags

I always assumed I was the only parent who felt that goody bags were a wasteful and expensive addition to a kids' birthday party. After all, why would we all keep doing this if we all hated it? Shortly before the pandemic, I thought to ask.

I posted a poll to my public Facebook page and to a closed group I run asking other parents how they felt about goody bags. And to my surprise, 90% of the respondents (nearly 1,000 parents in total, from across the country) shared my distaste of goody bags.

I was shocked. All this time, I assumed I was the only one who hated them. When I pushed further and asked questions, I found that most parents not only hated making them, but they also hated bringing them home too.

So then I thought, why are we doing this if most of us hate it?

When I asked, there was a common theme: parents said they were doing this thing they hated purely because they thought it was expected. They didn't want to be the first to break the tradition.

Related: Parents Get Real With Child's Birthday Party Invite—And We Are Fully On Board With It

Boycotting Goody Bags

Shortly after the results of my poll, I realized this must end. For my daughter's seventh birthday party, I boycotted goody bags. And you know what? It turned out just fine. Not a single kid seemed to notice or care. Everyone had fun, and a few parents even thanked me for not sending their kids home with more things they didn't need. They said I'd inspired them to nix goody bags at their next kid's party too.

If you're considering giving up goody bags and loathe Pinterest for making it seem like they're a necessity—it's time to give them up. There's no need for us parents to add extra stress to our plates. And in fact, some parents may just laud you as the hero for being willing to take that brave first step.

Related: My Anxiety Means No Birthday Parties for My Kids

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