Jodi Weatherton Explains Her Elimination "Anxiety Attack" on 'The Challenge 40'

The Challenge 40: Battle of the Eras is here! Throughout the season, Parade.com will speak with the challengers who were eliminated from the milestone season of the MTV series.

When Jodi Weatherton last appeared on MTV, she had taken home her second win, and became the first individual woman to win a season of The Challenge. In the 17 years since, she has started a family, and tested the waters on a reality TV return, appearing on both All-Stars and World Championship. So, when given the chance to represent Era 1 on Season 40, she jumped at the opportunity. And unfortunately, it was a form of that eagerness that got her into the game that got her sent out. In the first team daily challenge, Jodi and Darrell Taylor stepped up as Era 1 leaders. Unfortunately, they came in last place, sending them automatically into elimination. Jodi was then thrown for a loop in a couple of ways. Tony Raines and Averey Tressler's stalemate sent them into the sand, where they were told they'd compete as individuals. Despite Jodi's previous prowess as an individual performer, that failed to play out in Season 40. Panic set in for Jodi as she got edged out by Averey in a puzzle, sending her home.

Following her elimination, Tony talks with Parade.com about what exactly causes her elimination anxiety, connecting with people outside of her time on The Challenge, and how one comment--and a push from Rachel--forced her into the leader position.

Related: Everything to Know About The Challenge 40

So it's been 17 years since we've seen you on MTV. And while All-Stars and World Championship were dipping your toes in the water, this was a jump back into the Olympic-sized pool. What was your reaction when you were asked to come back for Season 40?
I was honored, number one, to be asked back at all. And I was also honored to be one of the five women asked back for my era. Because it's a big era. We had a lot of amazing people within our era that they could have asked. And so I felt really honored that I was one of the ones chosen, for sure.

To that point, you did say in one of the early episodes that you had the least relationships out of the Era 1 women. Talk to me about those dynamics.
I was definitely on the outskirts with the girls, for sure. I was close with all of the guys. But the girls, I'd never really been close with any of them. And I know they were all close with each other, so I definitely felt like I was on the outside looking in. As far as that was concerned, a couple of them had expressed interest, like, "Let's work together on this one." So I was hopeful that that would be the case. But I didn't have any past relationship with any of them to really fall back on. So I was a little bit nervous about that aspect of it. Although, in my previous Challenge experience, when I was young on the flagship, I was never there to make female friendships. I was usually there to, hang out, hook up, have fun. [Laughs.] So it makes perfect sense that I didn't have really a lot of female friendships. But that was definitely concerning for me coming in and how that was going to work.

What was it like to get to live and play with people from Era 3 and 4, who may have still been in elementary school when Road Rules: X-Treme was airing?
Oh my gosh, it was so fun. I really thought it was a lot of fun. I'm one of those people, like [when] Horacio and Nurys would be sitting over just having an intimate conversation, I just go over and be like, "Hey guys, can I hang out with you?" I just like to just go and meet everybody. I'm also a night owl. So I was one of the few Era 1 people who was always up late with all the young ones. So I went down by the pool. And they'd be like, "Jodi's here representing Era 1!" I was like, "That's right!" Because I'm a night owl anyway. All my era's asleep and snoring, and I'm like, "I am not going to bed at nine o'clock. I'm gonna go hang out." So I thought it was great. It was super fun. Most everybody I at least have had some awareness of. The only person I think I didn't know anything about before showing up was Brandon. He was the only one that I'm like, "I don't know who that is." But everybody else, I knew who they were. So that was fun.

So let's talk about what got you in front of me today. Starting with stepping up and being a leader. Did it come from that lack of dynamics you were mentioning?
So I'm gonna backtrack just a tiny bit to give you some back information. So when that first elimination was happening, we knew it was going to be Katie going in. Derrick had come to me and said, "You should nominate yourself to go in, Jode. Because she's going to get that elimination over with. You're going to be able to beat Katie, and then you'll have done an elimination, and they can't come for you." And I knew that was a smart choice. But I was also, in my mind, having kind of a battle. I'm like, "Well, okay, cool. But what if something weird happens and Katie ends up beating me? That's worst case scenario." Or what if they're like, "Hey, it's not going to be you competing against your era. You're going to compete against somebody else." And then I'm going against, Cara Maria or something, or Nia again. That would be terrible.

So I was like, "Okay, I don't know. That's risky." And I also didn't know how the game was going to progress, that we're going to do this whole leader thing. And I just thought, "Well, I'll just get it. I'll earn the respect of my female teammates. If they say they want to work with me, prove it to me." And so then I felt like I needed that reassurance to move forward and feel confident in our dynamic. I had no idea. I just thought, "We'll go into the second challenge, and I'll prove myself. And they're not going to want to throw me in. And it would be game on." But then, when the whole leadership thing came into play, I was like, "Oh, great. This is how this game is going to progress. Awesome."

It's interesting. Because you played in All-Stars Season 2 where this exact twist happened of the leaders of the losing team immediately going into elimination. Did you have this in mind when you stepped up for your era?
Oh, absolutely. I mean, I've done the least amount of challenges in my era. But I am very familiar with the way this worked. I knew 100% [if] you're a leader, you lose, you go in. But that is how it's always worked. But it's interesting the way that they chose to edit it. Because I did not nominate myself. It seems like I nominated myself. I 100% did not.

Was that another thing of Derrick saying, "You have to step up, Jode! You'll prove yourself to them"?
Oh, no. He would not have recommended that ever. No, he is not the one that did it. I made a rookie mistake. And when we were standing up there waiting for TJ to talk to us, because they have us walk out a couple different times and get lined up until it's final. So when we walked out, we could see right away there's a boat, there's the gross stuff to eat, and then there's all The Challenge seasons. And so I opened my big fat mouth and said that I had memorized all the seasons. Because I watched Dirty 30 before coming on, and so I knew we're probably gonna have to know them. So I made flashcards. I've been studying them for weeks; I had them all memorized. And as soon as I said that, and then TJ said, "We need leaders," Rachel's like, "Oh, Jodi, you should be the leader, because you are the one who knows all the seasons, in case that has something to do with it!"

[I can't be like], "Why don't we pick somebody who's not prepared to be the leader" Because I memorized them, now I have to go in. That doesn't even make sense. But I didn't feel like I had any leg to stand on. Because Rachel had made it clear that she had really kind of saved me that first elimination and her and CT had put Aneesa in. And Aneesa had just been in. Rachel's not going to nominate herself. And then Tina's her right-hand man. And so I was in a bad spot. So it's kind of like, "Okay, I guess it's gonna have to be me. Had I not given my cards away and been like, "I already know that," then it may have been more of a discussion. I put my foot in my mouth, for sure.

You spoke about how the elimination was a real worst-case scenario for you, between Tony and Averey forcing a stalemate, putting themselves into elimination, and you finding out you have to compete without Darrell. Were you surprised by what happened with that stand-off?
So I definitely knew it might happen. Because we had a pool party the night before the elimination. And Derek Chavez was talking to me and said, "Averey's never gonna say my name. She's gonna go in for me instead of saying my name." I mean, at that point, I felt like, "It's out of my hands. We simply said what we wanted. It's up to them to figure that out. Okay, you're gonna let Averey do that." It was out of my hands. So I knew that it was a possibility. I was hopeful that it wasn't. But I was just kind of like, "Whatever happens, happens. At this point, I'm already going in."

During the elimination, you talked about panic setting in. And this is something that's actually been a bit recurring for you since your return to The Challenge, where you'll have moments of getting flustered that leads to communication breakdown and loss. Talk to me more about what was going through your head that led to that panic settling in.
I definitely talked about it in exit interviews. And I don't know if they put it on the episode or not. But ever since I was a young child, like elementary school, I've always struggled with test anxiety, very severe test anxiety, to the point where it's debilitating. So I actually was tested for learning disabilities when I was in middle school because my mom and dad were just like, "It's such a serious problem in school for me that there must be something additional going on." And so through that testing, they just determined, "No, you just have very severe test anxiety." And so when I was in college, because of that learning disability testing that I'd had, and I had paperwork documenting that I'd had that testing done, I was able to get all of my tests in college [done] in a testing center. I didn't actually do them in class. So I would be in a testing center [with] unlimited time by myself, so there was none of that anxiety. And I actually did better in school than I've ever done because I had that ability to just not have that anxiety.

And so I definitely feel like for me, daily challenges don't give me that anxiety. Because it's not final, right? It's like, "Okay, I have an opportunity to prove myself, and just don't come in last." But for eliminations, I do get that anxiety because it's so final. You lose; you go home. And so especially with something that feels very much like a test like this one did. It's not just a physical thing; there's a mental component as well. I don't know if it's clear to fans, but I definitely was having [what] almost felt like an anxiety attack while I was in there. It was very hard to regroup and come back to figuring out a different way. Because I had figured out a way to lay the tiles out that worked in accordance with the riddle. But the problem was I didn't have the colors to complete it, so then I had to start over. And I think that's where I just mentally kind of started shutting down. I just couldn't regroup. And really what I needed to do--and this is embarrassing, this is the best way for me to get my anxiety under control--is to be able to close my eyes, plug my ears, and talk to myself, like, "Hey, calm down. You're okay. Take a couple deep breaths. It's all right." And I just didn't do that. I was too busy being in my head and trying to rely on my team for help when I couldn't even hear them. So I just think I can do a better job, maybe, offiguring out how to get that anxiety under control for myself. But it's something that I've struggled with since elementary school.

You were clearly very emotional in your post-elimination confessional. Was that because of the panic you mentioned?
No, I just think it was a culmination. I was in shock. I had trained for six months to be there. I had done everything within my power to best prepare to be there. And I felt like I was physically and mentally super ready. Really, when we got there, and we got in the house. I mean, this isn't me tooting my own horn. I was like, "I have a strong chance of getting to the final." I was really excited and hopeful that that was going to be my journey. And so I think I was in shock; I was embarrassed. I was just feeling a range of emotions. And I am a crier. I wear my emotions out on my sleeve. I've never been one to hide back what I'm feeling. Ask my husband. [Laughs.]But that's always been me. I've never been somebody who's been stoic. When I feel sad, you know. I think people could call me a crybaby. But I feel like there's strength in your ability to show emotion.

Absolutely. Finally, in honor of the infamous "Shit They Should Have Shown" episode of the old-school days of The Challenge, what's one moment from your time on the show that you wish you had made the edit?
Actually, if I'm being totally fair with you, Mike, I haven't watched any of the episodes. My husband was like, "You're really not gonna watch?" And I said no. He didn't watch either, because he wouldn't have watched if I [didn't] watch. But I just said, "No, I was there. I lived it. I just don't want to relive it." I've done the best I can to process what happened, and I still lose sleep about it, which is embarrassing. But I just it was a really hard loss for me, and so I don't need to see it again. But one funny thing did happen, and I'm sure they didn't air it, but maybe they will during the reunion. Who knows? But Tori taught me how to twerk.

[Laughs.] What?!
And I'm sure I was really bad at it. Bbut Darrell was like, "That was the best thing I've ever seen." It was so funny. That was one of the nights down by the pool. She's like, "I'm gonna teach you how to twerk." And I'm like, "Okay!" I'm sure she was a great coach, but I'm sure I did not do a great job. But we'll never know unless I show it. Maybe some of those skills she taught me will come back and play well.

Next, check out our interview with Tony Raines, who was also eliminated in The Challenge 40 Episode 3.