Everything You Need to Know About Dating a Scorpio Man
Astrology can help us understand more about ourselves and the people we love/date/hopelessly crush on—no matter their gender. For more deets on Scorpio compatibility, check out our guide to dating a Scorpio woman and our gender-neutral guide to dating a Scorpio.
There are just a few basics that need to be explored when you first start dating someone. Where is he from? What does he do for a living? Oh, and most definitely, when’s his birthday? This isn’t just for remembering when to send that “happy b-day :)” text! Knowing a potential boo’s zodiac sign can really help in understanding his behavior. Astrology helps us break down someone's personality deets, pet peeves, best traits, worst traits, and, yes, even dating patterns. It can be fun and informative to look up his sign and see how yours works with his.
If you’re dating, Insta-sleuthing (hi, guilty), or just fantasizing over a Scorpio man, we’re here to help you navigate one of the most mysterious signs. These complex beings are intense, deep, and sexy AF—but they can be so secretive that it’s sometimes hard to figure them out.
Luckily, astrology allows us to decipher personality traits, pet peeves, and so much more. And trust me when I say there is sooo much more to a Scorpio man than you initially realized. In fact, they might be the most guarded signs of the zodiac. These lil scorpions are DEEP.
So if your guy was born between October 23 and November 21, you’re in for a treat. Scorpios make life (and sex) feel incredible, but as it goes with any sign, there are some things you may want to keep an eye out for.
The Scorpio Basics
Birthday: October 23 to November 21
Modality: Fixed
Element: Water
Ruling planet: Mars (traditional) and Pluto (modern)
Represented by: The scorpion
Tarot card: Death
Best crystals: Topaz, lapis lazuli, bloodstone, diamond, ruby, malachite
Keywords: Intense, passionate, emotional, secretive, sexual, sensual, deep, vengeful, guarded, loyal, scary
Love anthem: “Without Me,” by Halsey
Famous Scorpio men: Frank Ocean, Mark Ruffalo, Jimmy Kimmel, Michael Strahan, Adam Driver, Leonardo DiCaprio, Drake, Ryan Reynolds, Penn Badgley, Sean Combs, Ryan Gosling, Odell Beckham Jr., French Montana, Penn Badgley
A Scorpio Man's Best Traits
Scorpio has a bit of a bad reputation, but there's a lot to love about a Scorpio man! He might seem guarded at first, but once you earn his trust, you'll see a whole different side to him. When he's in, he's all in. He's loyal, passionate, creative, and surprisingly romantic. Think: Candles, rose petals, the whole deal. His powerful intuition means that he can always sense when you're in a bad mood and knows just what to do to cheer you up. In fact, he's got quite a memory for all your favorite things! And if someone wrongs you, he'll always have your back...and he'll help you get back at them, too.
A Scorpio Man's Worst Traits
Can you say jealous? Scorpios are notoriously grudge-holding...and they tend to have a lil bit of a possessive streak. And despite these stingers, Scorps are one of the most sensitive zodiac signs on the inside. Plus, Scorpios can get a little bit obsessive...and paranoid...about things. Add this all together and you get a date who might start monitoring which photos you're liking on Instagram, trying to sneak a peek at your text messages, you get the picture. If you get in a fight, Scorpios will bring up resentments from ages ago they've been holding onto all this time. Oh, and if you do break up...yeah, you'll probably never hear from him again. Scorpios don't do second chances.
Best Matches for a Scorpio Man
The absolute best match for a Scorpio is fellow water sign Cancer. There’s natural compatibility between signs of the same element, and both signs are huge on trust and intimacy. Likewise, Scorpio and water sign Pisces get along incredibly. Both are deep thinkers with powerful intuition—it’s like they can read each other’s minds.
Virgos are also great matches for Scorpio as well. No other sign is as dedicated as a Virgo is to their lover, and when Scorpio recognizes how devoted his Virgo lover is, it creates a super-tight bond. Taurus—Scorpio’s zodiac opposite—has a focus on pleasure that Scorpio will love, and the bull can also teach Scorpio to be a little more practical.
Occasionally, a Gemini might also catch a Scorpio’s eye—besides being two of the most hated-on signs of the zodiac (the haters are just jealous!), they don’t have much in common, but they’re so different that they’re fascinated by each other.
The Worst Matches for a Scorpio Man
Scorpios sometimes have a hard time vibing with Leos. Scorpios tend to be more private and secretive, while Leo is just so outgoing—it’s easy for Leo to get suspicious of Scorpio and for Scorpio to get annoyed by all of Leo’s energy. For a different reason, Scorpio and Aquarius might butt heads. Intellectual Aquarius is all mind, while Scorpio is all feelings. Aquarius might think Scorpio takes things too personally and is overdramatic, while Scorpio might see Aquarius as cold or unfeeling.
That said, having incompatible Sun signs doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed—it just means you might have to put in a little work to really ~get~ each other. And compatibility is about so much more than your Sun sign anyway, so if your Moon signs or another part of your birth charts mesh well, you might be an astrologically blessed match anyway.
But even if your birth chart is Aquarius all the way down, if you make an effort to understand your Scorpio boo—and vice versa—you can have a great relationship too. And TBH, ~astrological tension~ can also lead to ~sexual tension~, so there’s something to be said for “incompatibility”!
Sex With a Scorpio Man
Sex with a Scorpio is a life-changing experience. These scorpions take sex very seriously—it’s a full-body, full-mind, full-spirit experience. They’re likely to suggest new kinks and sex toys to explore, and they may be into BDSM or other kinds of power play. Whatever they’re into, they’ll take their time doing it—make sure you block out the whole evening for your Scorpio lover.
Scorpios also love a “secret,” so they might want to play with an app-controlled sex toy in public (discreetly!!!). They’ll also love it if you send ’em a photo of the lingerie you’re wearing (or not wearing…) under your clothes before you actually meet up. Also, oral sex and sex toys are some of their favorite things.
BTW: Scorpios have an acute sense of smell, so at the very least, make sure that you shower before you see them. And if you’re trying to impress them, wear a one-of-a-kind perfume, cologne, or essential oil. Scorpios are suckers for a ~signature scent~.
The Perfect First Date with a Scorpio Man
A Scorpio man really wants to get to know you...without any distractions. So skip the crowded bar or noisy restaurant and take him somewhere a little more...private. That could be a romantic picnic in the park, an ~intimate~ night star-gazing, or even a nice meal in your home. The most important thing is to create an environment where you and your Scorpio can have a very personal, intense conversation without being interrupted by anyone...and okay, so you can get physical in private too.
A Scorpio Man at Home
A Scorpio's home is their sanctuary, and they don't just invite anyone there. In fact, it might take a Scorpio a few dates...or months...to invite you to see their pad. They're not messy or anything, they're just private like that! When you do finally get to see their home, trust that a Scorpio's place will be vibe-y. Think candles, mood lighting, and plenty of plants.
A Scorpio Man at Work
Your Scorpio coworker tends to keep to himself. You might overlook him, but then, seemingly out of nowhere, he'll offer a brilliant insight in the middle of a meeting, or ask just the right question on Slack. See, Scorpios are perceptive and intuitive, but they don't exactly live for the spotlight. If you get to know your Scorpio coworker, they'll have all the best work gossip...but you've really got to earn their trust first.
A Scorpio Man with Friends
Scorpios tend to take a "quality over quantity" approach to friendships. Your Scorpio guy probably has a few closer-than-close friends—probably at least one of whom he's known since kindergarten—rather than a wide circle of acquaintances. Scorpios are guarded and it takes them a while to trust and open up to someone new, but once you're in, you're in for life.
A Gift for a Scorpio Man
Even though these stingers might seem intense, they're also emotional water signs. So get them something sentimental, whether that's a framed photo of the two of you, a signed copy of their favorite book, or a romantic weekend getaway. Whatever it is, just make sure it has some emotional significance!
All About Scorpio Man's Personality Traits
Scorpio is a paradox. His sign is classified as a fixed sign, meaning he’s loyal, dedicated, and stuck in his ways, but he’s also a water sign, meaning he’s emotionally fluid and filled with passion. He’s co-ruled by Pluto, planet of transformation and change, and Mars, the fiery planet of action and energy, resulting in a mysterious figure who’s a hidden volcano of intensity right beneath the surface. His sign is one of the most intimate and he’s an all-or-nothing kind of guy, so if he lets his walls down, you can rest assured he’s completely enthralled by you!
His sign always has a ton happening beneath the surface, no matter how stone cold he appears to be on the outside. No topic is too taboo for him to tackle—he has insane emotional and psychological depth and is incredibly cunning. Getting to know a Scorpio is an experience in and of itself, but he takes it one step further by intensifying everything you do together. It’s never just a kiss or a hug with him—it’s an embrace. You don’t go on dates with him—they’re adventures that quickly become vivid memories.
He’s also super big on commitment. Because he’s afraid of others judging the wild thoughts that are always flying around in his head, he is insecure and doesn’t let people in easily. After the first couple of dates, he’ll have subjected you to several “tests” and probed you psychologically, whether you know it or not! Once you’re in, though, you’re in. He commits to someone if, and only if, he’s absolutely positive he knows the real you and he trusts that you’ll accept him for who he really is. Being ruled by Mars, named after the god of war, he’ll protect his loved ones with everything he’s got if he has to. It’s rare to find someone as dedicated, fierce, passionate, and loyal as a Scorpio in love!
He’s a very indulgent sign when it comes to food, drinking, and sex—any kind of pleasure, really. But the physical intimacy of your relationship is nothing compared to the emotional entanglement that occurs between a Scorpio and his lover. He wants your relationship to be strong enough that he becomes a part of you both. Even if things don’t work out in the end, you’ll never forget your Scorpio ex! He loves wholeheartedly, and your relationship promises to be life-changing—he is the sign of transformation, after all.
However, all his darkness and angst and brooding can get old after a while! Even if you’ve been going steady forever, you’ll still catch him trying to psychoanalyze your words and actions on the DL. All the questions and anxieties on his end only lead to confusion and creates an actual problem if it goes on for too long! And when you do fight, he can be as self-protective as an actual scorpion, although luckily, things rarely get to this point. He is a fixed sign, after all, and very slow to rise to action. He’s loyal and dedicated to you more than anything else, and he wouldn’t be with you unless he was positive that you’re both 100 percent in it.
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The word “plutocrat” refers to someone who is very powerful and very wealthy. Being ruled by Pluto, Scorpio men can easily embody this mindset. His jealousy and need for control is a drag. Luckily, Scorpios are very aware of boundaries, so if you set healthy ones, he’ll respect them. Power and control issues are problems all Scorpios face, but if you enforce your rules, he’ll stay in line.
But to really bond with him, you need to open up to him. He can smell superficiality from a mile away, so if you aren’t keeping it real with him, he won’t be interested in you for long. He’s only interested in getting with someone who honestly wants to get to know him. He has layers on layers on layers, but when he trusts you enough to open up and you reach the core of who he truly is, it’s definitely worth it. For all the intensity and emotional drama that Scorpios get a bad reputation for, the passion and love they have is tough to beat. He’ll form a relationship with you that neither one of you will ever forget!
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