Is Chronic Loneliness Real?

Medically reviewed by Michael MacIntyre, MDMedically reviewed by Michael MacIntyre, MD

Chronic loneliness occurs when a person experiences loneliness for an extended period. It's not a diagnosable mental health condition, but it can affect your emotional and physical health.

Loneliness is a feeling of lack of a sense of belonging or lack of meaningful or close relationships. There are different types of loneliness:

• Social: Feeling disconnected from other people and lacking a satisfying social network.

• Emotional: Lacking meaningful, deep, and good-quality relationships.

• Existential: Feeling fundamentally separated from others, such as feeling left behind by life events or lonely even when surrounded by others.

This article explains how to recognize chronic loneliness, possible complications, and potential ways to ease the feeling.

Why Do People Become Lonely?

There are many reasons you may experience loneliness. Often, people experience a preceding event or change in circumstances that cause emotional or physical separation from their existing network. Some examples of things that contribute to loneliness include:

• Aging

• Becoming a caregiver for an aging loved one

• Becoming a parent

• Bullying

• Experiencing financial difficulties that affect your ability to join in social activities

• Experiencing the death of a loved one

• Going through a divorce or breakup

• Having a chronic illness or mental health problems

• Living alone

• Living in an area where your culture, race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation lacks representation

• Missing out on holidays that emphasize togetherness, such as Christmas, Valentine's Day, Hanukkah, or Ramadan

• Moving to a new place

• Retiring

• Starting college or a new school

• Starting a new job
  

• Watching your social network progress through life events you haven't experienced yet
  

Loneliness Is Subjective

Loneliness is a subjective, emotional experience. It is not the same as social isolation, an objective measure of someone having limited social interaction. Instead, loneliness is a person's perception and experience of their social interaction. Two people could have the same amount of social interaction, which may cause one person to feel lonely while another is content.

Symptoms of Chronic Loneliness

Loneliness is emotional. Being lonely can feel distressing, isolating, numbing, hopeless, or like you don't matter. Chronic loneliness can also lead to symptoms that affect your day-to-day life. These can include:

• Anxiety and worry around socializing or attending social events

• Difficulty sleeping

• Reductions in self-care, such as lacking personal hygiene, getting up late, or not cooking or cleaning after yourself

Feeling lonely over a long period can cause low mood and stress and raise your risk of certain mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and dementia.

How Can You Tell If You’re Chronically Lonely?

If you've experienced the symptoms of loneliness for a long time—whether weeks, months, or years—you could be chronically lonely.

Potential Complications From Chronic Loneliness

Feeling lonely for too long can lead to complications, including a higher risk of certain mental illnesses and physical health conditions, including the following:

• Lower sleep quality: Poor sleep quality has a cyclical relationship with loneliness, meaning that loneliness can worsen your sleep quality, but poor sleep quality can also increase your risk of feeling lonely.

• Depression: Loneliness can increase your risk of developing depression. One study found that approximately 18% of cases of depression could be attributed to loneliness.

• Stress and lowered immunity: Research has linked chronic loneliness to an impaired immune system, and specifically a reduced number of white blood cells—the cells that fight infections.

• Low self-esteem: Feeling lonely can affect your self-esteem. Research has found a strong association between loneliness and low self-esteem among adolescents.

• Full body inflammation: A 2022 study found that participants with higher levels of loneliness had higher levels of C-reactive protein (CRP), an inflammatory marker.

• Diabetes: According to one study of 465,290 individuals over the course of 6.3 years, occasional loneliness was associated with a 14% increased risk of type 2 diabetes, whereas chronic loneliness was associated with an even higher 24% increased risk.

• High blood pressure: Over the years, various studies have established the link between loneliness, social isolation, and high blood pressure. Chronic loneliness also increases the risk of coronary heart disease and dying from a stroke.

• Chronic illness: Chronic loneliness can also increase the risk of chronic illnesses, such as obesity, heart disease, and dementia. This connection could be due, in part, to higher levels of inflammation as well as lifestyle habits like not getting enough exercise, sleeping poorly, or drinking too much alcohol.
  

Seek Help

If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one is in immediate danger, call 911. For more mental health resources, see Verywell's National Helpline Database.

Lifestyle Tips to Feel Less Lonely

Feeling less lonely is easier said than done. Although loneliness can be challenging, it is a normal human experience and should not make you feel shame or embarrassment.

Some lifestyle changes to work through chronic loneliness include:

• Make a concerted effort to talk to friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances: Send a quick text or meme to an old friend, call a family member, or strike up a conversation in the lunch room.
  

• Use social media to connect with others: Meet new people who share your interests or stay in touch with friends and family. Avoid mindless scrolling and make an effort to interact with others' posts.

• Start volunteering with a local organization: This can help you connect with fellow volunteers and get to know your local community.

• Join a club or local interest group: There are various types of organizations that meet in person and can help facilitate forming connections, such as school sports clubs, a local book or running club, or a choir or musical group.

• Be gentle with yourself: Use your alone time for activities that bring you peace, like reading a book, self-care, cooking, exercising, or learning something new. Being alone doesn't have to be "bad," and flipping the script on your alone time can help you see it more positively.

• Talk to a therapist: If your loneliness is getting you down, talking to a therapist can help you learn coping mechanisms for the stress, anxiety, and depression that sometimes come with chronic loneliness.

How to Prevent Chronic Loneliness

Many lifestyle tips above for coping with chronic loneliness can also work to prevent it.

It can be hard to integrate these strategies into your daily life, but keep the lines of communication open with your loved ones. If you start to feel left out or lonely, express this.

People may not have realized they were excluding you or that you're feeling lonely, and they may try to involve you in the future. If they don't, you can take this as a sign to try and make new friends.

Making an effort to welcome and involve other people in social settings can also go a long way toward alleviating both your loneliness and theirs.

Remember that it's normal to feel lonely now and then; it is a healthy part of the human spectrum of emotion. Taking the steps above can help prevent that transient feeling from becoming long-term.

When to Contact a Healthcare Provider

In some cases, chronic loneliness can lead to depression and physical health problems. Talk to a healthcare provider about your concerns. They may be able to refer you to a qualified therapist or counselor or recommend local support groups.

Summary

Chronic loneliness occurs when someone experiences loneliness over a long period. It is associated with adverse health effects such as depression, stress, poor sleep, chronic illness, high blood pressure, diabetes, and more. If you are chronically lonely, try to be kind to yourself and know that many others feel like this, too. It can be hard, but try to put yourself out there by reconnecting with loved ones or joining a new club or volunteer group.

Read the original article on Verywell Health.