Kim Kardashian: ‘There are nights I cry myself to sleep’ as a single mom

Kim Kardashian gave a glimpse into parenting four children under age 10 after divorce — and shared the emotional reality.

"It has been the most challenging thing," she said on the May 22 podcast episode of "On Purpose with Jay Shetty." "There are nights I cry myself to sleep. Like, what just happened?

"You know, with all the moods and the personalities and sometimes they’re fighting, and you know, there’s no one there," Kardashian, 42, continued. "Like, it’s (up to) me to play good cop and bad cop."

She told Shetty she's working on being "a little bit firmer," adding that she thinks no one is ever fully prepared to become a parent.

"That's the only way I can describe it. It is the most rewarding job in the entire world. It is. There is nothing that can prepare you," Kardashian said. "I don’t care how long you wait. I don’t care what you’re waiting for. You are never prepared. But you will figure it out, and it will make you so proud of yourself that you figured it out and that you got through the day."

But despite the bad nights where she said she takes it "hour by hour to see if we are going to survive," she said parenting is "the thing that has taught me the most about myself."

"If a tantrum comes in, oh my God, your life is completely upside down," she said. "But it teaches you so much more about yourself than I think anyone, any parent, could have ever anticipated."

Kardashian said she does try to enjoy the "madness" of her four children at this age: North, 9, Saint, 7, Chicago, 5, and Psalm, 4, all of whom she shares with ex-husband Kanye West.

"Everyone says the days are long and the years are short, and that couldn’t be like a more true statement," she said, "So, like, when you’re in it, I mean, especially when they’re babies and you’re feeding ... there’s madness going on. It’s like full madness. It’s the best chaos though."

Kardashian said co-parenting with West was "so f------ hard" on a December episode of the "Angie Martinez IRL" podcast.

"I am holding on by a thread. I know that I am so close to that not happening, but while it is still that way, I will protect that to the end of the Earth as long as I can. My kids don’t know anything," she said.

She added will try to keep her children away from the headlines about their father for as long as she can.

"I definitely protected him, and I still will in the eyes of my kids. For my kids," she said. "So, in my home, my kids don’t know anything that goes on (in) the outside world."

Kardashian filed for divorce in February 2021, and it was finalized in November 2022.

This article was originally published on TODAY.com