Jada Pinkett Smith calls Chris Rock her ‘brother’ in new memoir

Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith and Chris Rock all used to be close — that is, until March 27, 2022, when Smith slapped Rock during the 94th Academy Awards, creating a public spectacle that left social media buzzing about the trio for months.

Rock was presenting an award that night when he made a joke about Pinkett Smith, whose head is shaved due to the autoimmune condition alopecia, leading Smith to walk up to the stage and slap Rock in the face on live TV.

Smith returned to his seat and then shouted to Rock, "Keep my wife's name out your f---ing mouth." After the incident, Rock regained composure and commented, "That was the greatest night in the history of television," before presenting the award for best documentary feature.

Smith has since apologized for the slap, and Pinkett Smith addressed the incident in her new memoir, "Worthy," that debuted Oct. 17. Calling the comedian her “brother,” Pinkett Smith writes that she learned “holy lessons” as a result of Rock’s jab at her appearance.

Among those lessons? “The importance of learning to love Will in his shadow,” she writes of her longtime marriage to the actor — though they have been separated since 2016 — as well as “how to continue to love myself through so much misunderstanding and vitriol.”

This is all part of Rock, Smith and Pinkett Smith’s long history, which Pinkett Smith says dates back to the ’80s. Read on for the context surrounding the altercation, and a timeline of how the three actors came to know each other.

Rock has not yet returned TODAY.com's request for comment.

1980s: Will Smith and Chris Rock have a ‘big ole misunderstanding,’ according to Jada Pinkett Smith

Pinkett Smith writes in her 2023 memoir “Worthy” that Rock and Smith had “a big ole misunderstanding” leading to “decades of disrespect” that Pinkett Smith says began long before she entered the picture.

Their beef festered through the years, eventually involving Pinkett Smith, who writes that she and Smith “were dragged across many stages by Chris’s jokes.”

1995: Chris Rock appears on ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’

Chris Rock makes a cameo appearance in the sixth and final season of “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” the sitcom and pop culture phenomenon that launched Smith’s career.

Rock played a comedian named Maurice Perry and the comedian’s sister Jasmine, whom Will takes on a date as a favor for his cousin Hilary.

1997: Rock mocks Pinkett Smith’s attendance at the Million Woman March

During the second season of his late-night talk show “The Chris Rock Show,” which ran on HBO, Rock made fun of Pinkett Smith’s speech at the Million Woman March, an event that advocated for African-American women in the United States and was led by major figures like Maxine Waters. The clip was resurfaced by The Daily Beast.

Rock made fun of the event in general before turning his attention to Pinkett Smith, airing an edited version of her speech. In the edited clip, Pinkett Smith appears to shout song lyrics. Her full speech is available online.

1999: Smith and Rock appear in a mockumentary together

The duo appeared in a half-hour Spike Jonze mockumentary about a community dance group, along with other ‘90s celebrities like Madonna, Janeane Garofalo, Sofia Coppola, Fatboy Slim and Regis Philbin.

The shared acting credit may be inadvertent: The mockumentary partially took place at the VMAs and captured celebrities’ reactions.

2005: Rock and Pinkett Smith work together on the ‘Madagascar’ movies

Rock and Pinkett Smith lent their voices to zoo animal escapees in the “Madagascar” movie series. Rock played Marty the zebra; Pinkett Smith was Gloria the hippo.

Pinkett Smith writes in “Worthy” that she’d seen another side of the comedian when making the animated movie together.

“I found him to be quirky, with an unexpected sweetness, and very intelligent, with a biting wit that’s impressive if you are on the right side of it.”

They went on to make a trilogy together: “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa” came out in 2008, and “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” came out in 2012.

2012: Rock says his kids ‘listen to’ the Smiths’ kids

During a promo tour for the third “Madagascar” movie, Rock appeared to bond with Pinkett Smith over her children — Willow and Jaden Smith — and their music careers.

“Hey, my kids listen to your kids!” Rock told Smith, per Fuse. “‘21st Century Girl’? Oh, my God,” he said, referring to Willow Smith’s 2011 song.

2009: Rock says ‘there's no Will Smith jokes’

In a 2009 CNN interview, Rock identified a few people that he couldn’t joke about. Among them? Smith.

“(Obama’s) just one of those guys, you know, like Will Smith. There’s no Will Smith jokes. There’s no Brad Pitt jokes,” he said.

“You know, what are you going to say? ‘Ooh, you used to have sex with Jennifer Aniston. Now you have sex with Angelina Jolie. You’re such a loser.’”

2016: Rock jokes about Smith and Pinkett Smith in his Oscars monologue

Though Rock said he couldn’t joke about Smith in 2009, he changed his tune in 2016, when he hosted the Oscars and made cracks at the couple.

That year, Pinkett Smith and Smith chose to boycott the ceremony, along with creators like Spike Lee, citing a lack of diversity among the nominees.

“Jada said she’s not coming, protest. I was like, ‘Isn’t she on a TV show?’ Jada’s going to boycott the Oscars? Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties. I wasn’t invited!” Rock said.

Rock then said Pinkett Smith was upset her husband didn’t receive a nomination for his work in “Concussion.”

“It’s not fair that Will was this good and didn’t get nominated. You’re right. It’s also not fair that Will was paid $20 million for ‘Wild Wild West,’ OK?” he said, referencing one of Smith’s biggest flops.

In her memoir, Pinkett Smith contemplates what might have spurred Rock to target her. She writes that she hadn’t considered how Rock, a Black host, might have perceived her Oscar comments given the pressure he was under.

“Nor did I imagine that he would take offense to a question I posed in a video I made — as whether we should continue to support the Oscars that weren’t consistently celebrating talent of color.”

That video she’s referencing was one she shared prior to the 2016 Oscars and showed Pinkett Smith speaking directly to Rock: “I can’t think of a better man to do the job at hand this year than you, my friend, good luck.” In hindsight, she writes, that might have been taken as a “backhanded vote of support,” but that wasn’t her intent.

She also writes that contrary to Rock’s claim that Pinkett Smith called and personally asked him not to host the awards in 2016, “That didn’t happen. Ever.”

“In hindsight, maybe I should have called Chris personally, checked on him, and wished him luck in a situation that was clearly difficult,” she recounts in the memoir.

In the wake of his comments at the 2016 Oscars, Pinkett Smith says Rock texted a “heartfelt apology” to which she replied with one of her own, thus “burying the hatchet,” or so she believed.

2016: Pinkett Smith responds to Rock’s Oscars speech

As for whether these jokes sowed discontent between Rock and Smith and Pinkett Smith? In her response at the time, Pinkett Smith appeared to be nonplussed.

“It comes with the territory,” she told paparazzi in the airport, per ET Online. “We got to keep it moving, there’s a lot of stuff we got to handle, a lot of stuff in our world right now. We got to keep it moving.”

2016: Smith and Pinkett Smith separate

Pinkett Smith revealed in an exclusive interview with TODAY's Hoda Kotb that she and her husband separated in 2016, nearly 20 years after they married in 1997.

“Why it fractured... that — that’s a lot of things ... By the time we got to 2016, we were just exhausted with trying. I think we were both kind of just still stuck in our fantasy of what we thought the other person should be,” she said.

Pinkett Smith said she has considered a legal divorce, but she has not been able to go through with it.

“I made a promise that there will never be a reason for us to get a divorce. We will work through ... whatever,” she said. “I just haven’t been able to break that promise.”

July 2020: Smith and Pinkett Smith address August Alsina 'entanglement'

In July 2020, Smith and his wife went on her “Red Table Talk” show to address comments rapper August Alsina gave in an interview with Angela Yee, when he said that he gave “years of (his) life” to a relationship with Pinkett Smith.

On the episode, Pinkett Smith revealed that she met Alsina when she and Smith were going through a "very difficult time" and decided to temporarily separate. Pinkett Smith and the rapper began as friends, she told Smith, but then they “got into a different kind of entanglement.”

During her conversation with Hoda, the TODAY anchor noted that Will's seemingly aloof behavior during that "Red Table Talk" episode made it seem as if he wasn't unaware of her and Alsina's relationship.

“You and this young man had, as you call it, an entanglement,” Hoda said. “And you and Will were talking about it, and me not knowing what was going on, I said, ‘My God, this guy’s been blindsided. What’s going on here?’ So I’m watching this weird dance go on. It looks like this guy’s been humiliated on national television.”

Pinkett Smith clarified that her husband had asked to appear on her show and knew about the relationship prior to recording the episode.

March 2022: Rock is slapped by Smith at the Oscars

It was a moment that'll be cemented in pop culture history. When Rock appeared on stage at the 94th Academy Awards to present the award for best documentary feature, he cracked a joke about Pinkett Smith's shaved head.

Smith, who was sitting at the front of the venue with his wife, then ascended the stage and struck Rock across the face on live television.

"Keep my wife’s name out your f---ing mouth," Smith had shouted when he returned to his seat. After the incident, Rock commented, "That was the greatest night in the history of television."

In her October interview with Hoda, Pinkett Smith said she was particularly surprised by the way Smith referred to her.

“Now first of all, I’m really shocked because, mind you, we haven’t called each other husband and wife in a long time,” she said. “I’m like, ‘What is going on right now?’”

As Smith walked on stage, Pinkett Smith told Hoda she didn't realize what was happening, thinking it was a planned skit she didn't know about.

“Chris is making light of it,” she said, explaining that her view was partially blocked because Smith walked in front of Rock. “And then — Will swings. … As Will’s coming back, I’m like, ‘Wait a minute. Hold up.’ Something is off. And then when he sits down and I look at him and I grab his hand, and I’m just trying to see where he is. And then it continues, and I’m like, ‘Oh, s---.’”

Though viewers weren't able to see, Pinkett Smith recalled to Hoda that Rock leaned over the stage following the slap and told her that he meant no harm. But the efforts didn't sit right with her husband at the time.

“And now he’s mad because Chris is talking to me,” she said. “And I go, ‘Chris, this is about some old s---.’ That’s all I could think to say. I couldn’t really take in his apology.”

Pinkett Smith still didn't believe Smith actually struck Rock, she told Hoda, until Smith's publicist told her that the comedian had left the building and didn't intend on pressing charges.

“I look to Will and I said, ‘You hit Chris? Like, you actually hit Chris?’” she said. “And he’s like, ‘Yeah.’ And I’m like, ‘All right.’”

March 2022: Smith apologizes for the slap

The day after the Oscars ceremony, Smith publicly apologized to Rock for the incident.

"Violence in all of its forms is poisonous and destructive. My behavior at last night’s Academy Awards was unacceptable and inexcusable. Jokes at my expense are a part of the job, but a joke about Jada’s medical condition was too much for me to bear and I reacted emotionally," he said in a statement on Instagram March 28, 2022.

"I would like to publicly apologize to you, Chris. I was out of line and I was wrong. I am embarrassed and my actions were not indicative of the man I want to be. There is no place for violence in a world of love and kindness," he continued.

Smith also apologized to the Academy, the producers of the show, the attendees and those who watched the show around the world, in addition to those who worked on "King Richard," the film Smith won the best actor Oscar for shortly after the slap.

He concluded: "I deeply regret that my behavior has stained what has been an otherwise gorgeous journey for all of us."

During Pinkett Smith’s October 2023 interview with People, she revealed the first thing she said to Smith after the slap.

“Are you OK?” she recalled asking her husband.

March and July 2022: Rock addresses the slap during his comedy tour

Rock briefly addressed the slap three days after the ceremony to a sold out crowd in Boston for the opening show of his "Ego Death World Tour."

“How was your weekend?” he asked with a wink. “I don’t have a bunch of s--- about what happened, so if you came to hear that, I have a whole show I wrote before this weekend.”

“I’m still kind of processing what happened. So, at some point, I’ll talk about that shit. And it will be serious and funny,” he added.

Rock also spoke out about the slap on July 24, 2022, while at a comedy show in Holmdel, New Jersey, according to Variety.

“Anyone who says words hurt has never been punched in the face,” he said. “I’m not a victim. Yeah, that s--- hurt, motherf-----. But I shook that s--- off and went to work the next day. I don’t go to the hospital for a paper cut.”

April 2022: Smith is banned from the film academy

In the days after the incident, Smith resigned from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science, and the organization issued a ban against the actor from all Academy events for 10 years.

June 2022: Pinkett Smith addresses the slap on ‘Red Table Talk’

On June 3, 2022, Pinkett Smith hosted an episode of her Facebook Live series "Red Table Talk" that shined a light on those who have alopecia. At the top of the episode, she said spoke candidly about the slap.

"Now about Oscars night," she said, "my deepest hope is that these two intelligent, capable men have an opportunity to heal, talk this out, and reconcile. The state of the world today, we need them both. And we all actually need one another more than ever. Until then, Will and I are continuing to do what we have done for the last 28 years, and that’s keep figuring out this thing called life together. Thank you for listening."

July 2022: Smith posts a video addressing the slap

Smith then addressed the slap again in an in-depth video posted on Instagram on July 29, 2022, where he answered questions about the incident and explained why he didn't apologize during his acceptance speech for his best actor award.

“I was fogged out by that point,” Smith said. “It’s all fuzzy. I’ve reached out to Chris and the message that came back is that he’s not ready to talk and when he is, he will reach out. So I will say to you, Chris, I apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable and I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.”

In the post, Smith also dispelled rumors that Pinkett Smith asked him to do something after the joke, saying he “made a choice on my own,” though noting: “It’s like, ‘I’m sorry’ really isn’t sufficient.”

March 2023: Rock responds to the slap in his live stand-up special

As promised, Rock was finally ready to talk about what happened at the 2022 Oscars during Netflix’s first-ever live stand-up special, “Chris Rock: Selective Outrage,” which aired March 4.

“I got smacked at the f---ing Oscars by this motherf-----, and people are like, ‘Did it hurt?’ It still hurts,” he told the crowd. “I took that hit like Pacquiao,” he said.

He then said he thinks Smith practices “selective outrage.”

“Everybody who really knows, knows that I had nothing to do with that s---. I didn’t have any ‘entanglements,’” he said, referring to the relationship Pinkett Smith said she had with singer August Alsina when separated from Smith.

“She hurt him way more than he hurt me. Everybody in the world called him a b----. I tried to call the motherf-----, I tried to call that man and give him my condolences, he didn’t pick up for me,” he said. “Everybody called him a b----. And who does he hit? Me.”

Rock went on to say he has loved and rooted for Smith his whole life. “And now I watch ‘Emancipation’ just so I could watch him get whooped,” he added.

As for Pinkett Smith, she writes in her memoir that although it would be easy for her to hold on to “resentments” against the comedian, she’s come to realize that ultimately it would hurt her more than it would him.

“I’d seen another side of Chris beyond his hurtful jokes, and I could not unring that bell. He deserves my concern and my consideration despite how he may decide to drag me on stages. That’s his issue, not mine. From spirit to spirit, he is my brother, and if it weren’t for his Holy Joke, I would not have been able to embrace this teaching so deeply.”

October 2023: Pinkett Smith says Chris Rock previously asked her out on a date

The actor and talk show host revealed in an interview with People published on Oct. 11 that Rock asked her on a date years before the Oscars slap.

“I think every summer all the reports would come out that me and Will were getting a divorce. And this particular summer, Chris, he thought that we were getting a divorce. So he called me and basically he was like, ‘I’d love to take you out.’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean?’ He was like, ‘Well, aren’t you and Will getting a divorce?’ I was like, ‘No. Chris, those are just rumors.’ He was appalled. And he profusely apologized and that was that,” she said.

October 2023: Pinkett Smith says she and Smith haven't spoken to Rock since the Oscars slap

Speaking to Hoda in their interview, Pinkett Smith revealed that she and Smith haven't spoken to Rock since the 2022 Oscars slap.

“These kinds of moments can do two things. They can amplify love or they can really make you bitter, angry, resentful,” Pinkett Smith tells Hoda. “We’ve chosen to really look at this moment and heal.”

This article was originally published on TODAY.com