Instead of blaming cancel culture, what if Christians acted more Christian?

All the culture-war alarms went clang-clang-clanging into the night after a Richmond, Va., restaurant recently refused service to The Family Foundation, a conservative Christian organization.

According to multiple news reports, the staff at Metzger Bar and Butchery decided at the 11th hour to cancel the Family Foundation’s reservations for a group event because of the foundation’s stances against same-sex marriage and abortion rights.

A Family Foundation official described the decision as “alarming and disgraceful”—a clear case of religious discrimination.

The restaurant, for its part, said on social media it denied service to the group to protect its staff, many of whom are women or members of the LGBTQ+ community.

To me, the kerfuffle mirrored similar refusals elsewhere by conservative Christians to bake cakes or offer other services to LGBTQ+ customers.

A case regarding the legality of that is pending before the U.S. Supreme Court. It concerns a Colorado website designer who won’t make same-sex wedding sites.

It’s not my intention here to adjudicate such matters — whether businesses can legally discriminate against Christians or whether Christians can legally discriminate against those whose lifestyles don’t align with their religious beliefs. I’ll leave that to the Supreme Court and the court of public opinion.

No, what caught my attention in the Virginia situation was something else.

To wit, how should Christians such as those in the Family Foundation respond when they believe they’ve been treated shabbily?

One problem with being a Christian is that our faith demands we act differently in the face of perceived slights than the population at large might be expected to act.

It’s hard to do. Trust me. We’re to turn the other cheek, bless those who curse us, love our enemies, never repay evil for evil, let our speech always be seasoned with salt. After 45 years as a believer, I still struggle with that every day. Every. Blessed. Day.

I get it wrong about as often as I get it right, as readers are eager to point out. I preach non-judgmentalism one week, for instance, and the next snarkily judge, in print no less, guys who drive what one wag described as UHVs—unnecessarily huge vehicles.

So there you have it. If I were faced with the Family Foundation’s situation vis a vis Metzger Bar and Butchery, would I follow the advice I’m about to offer? Your guess is as good as mine. I hope I would. Possibly I wouldn’t.

In any case, here’s what would have been a truly Christian response to the Virginia restaurant. It might have been framed as an open letter to the management and staff:

“To all who work at Metzger Bar and Butchery,

“We owe each of you an abject, heartfelt apology. We’re sorry we’ve offended you and left you feeling threatened by us, and we have no excuses. We blame ourselves, not you. We ask for your forgiveness, if you feel inclined to give it. But whether or not you forgive us, we’re still guilty and we’re still sorry.

“Clearly our opinions and religious beliefs about key matters differ from yours. Disagreement itself is OK. We live in a country where all are free to believe as they might. We’re free, but you’re equally free. We all have the same right to petition the government. Disagreements can even be productive.

“Where we’ve clearly erred, however, is that we’ve expressed our views in a manner that strikes you as ill-willed and hateful. That being so, we’ve failed.

“We serve a Lord who commands us to welcome even those with whom we disagree. We’re to be gracious to every man, woman or child, every transgendered person, every political opponent, every race, kindred and tongue — due to the simple and yet profound fact that God has showered his own heartbreaking grace on us. Those who’ve received grace must always be quick to extend grace. It’s an expression of our gratitude.

“By all indications we’ve failed miserably at that. What we’d like to do, if you’ll accept it, is this: instead of rescheduling our event elsewhere, we’d like to donate the money we would have spent at Metzger Bar and Butchery—plus an extra 25 percent tip above the usual large-group gratuity—to your staff for their personal use.

“Please accept this as our Christmas gift to each of you individually. If any of you don’t celebrate Christmas, please use the money in whatever way you see fit. Donate it to an LGBTQ+ or pro-choice organization if you’d like, with our blessings.

“We love you and in the future we’ll try to do better. In all likelihood we’ll still disagree with you about key matters, but with God’s help we’ll do so more kindly and humbly, recognizing that we could be the ones who are wrong.

“Sincerely, your friends at The Family Foundation.”

Paul Prather is pastor of Bethesda Church near Mount Sterling. You can email him at pratpd@yahoo.com.