Inspired by North Jersey mom, Invisible Pain Day will share stories of loss on Sunday

In January 2018, Deirdre Allette Asiema discovered something in her Bloomfield home that forever changed her life - the dead body of her son Darren Clark Jr., who had taken his own life.

That tragic event led the former Bloomfield resident to form a foundation in her son's name and work with mental health advocates to push for Jan. 7, the day of her son's death, to be recognized as Invisible Pain Day in New Jersey. Gov. Phil Murphy made that official by proclamation in Dec. 2021.

The third annual commemoration of the day, which honors those who have lost a loved one to mental illness or suicide, will take place this coming Sunday at the Middlesex County Fire Academy in Sayreville from 11 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Asiema said in an interview with NorthJersey.com that she has mixed emotions about the day.

"It's just a constant reminder of why I am doing this − Darren not being here. And then another part is, I'm happy to have something that other people find a need for," Asiema said. "What's keeping me going is the feedback I'm getting from people when I boost it online, on social media. The response I'm getting from people is encouraging."

Mark Williams, president of the National Alliance for Mental Illness branch in New Jersey, said in a statement that “It is conversations brought on by projects like Invisible Pain Day that bring mental illness and suicide out of the shadows and into the destigmatizing rays of sunlight.”

Invisible Pain Day event

The event, presented by NAMI and the Darren Clark Jr. Memorial, will feature guest speakers and exhibitors from across the state, including family advocates, suicide survivors, mental health providers, and suicide prevention program specialists. There will also be an art therapy area, a loving message table, mindfulness activities, a sensory room, a candlelight vigil, a vocalist, and brunch and refreshments.

Asiema said among the guest speakers will be Cristina Blasoni, a Bergen County-based social worker with 30 years in the mental health field who also serves on the NAMI-NJ Bergen County chapter board.

At least 100 people are expected to attend this year's Invisible Pain Day, she added. Asiema hopes attendees will realize "they are not alone" in their grief.

"There's going to be a day specific for us, that we can get together, and just be amongst each other who can truly understand what we're going through," she said. She wants people to be able to "speak about our loved ones with no judgment and receive resources and coping skills that we may need."

Anyone interested in attending can register online through the Invisible Pain Day 2024 Eventbrite page. For more information, contact Lisa Powell at lpowell@naminj.org.

Organizers set up a way for those not able to attend the event to participate. They invited people to email a special note or note along with a picture with a completed media release form by Jan. 3 to deirdre@darrenmemorial.com. The material will be incorporated into the event program. Organizers also encourage supporters to spread the word about Invisible Pain Day on social media, and to support the occasion with a donation.

Ricardo Kaulessar covers race, immigration, and culture for NorthJersey.com. For unlimited access to the most important news from your local community, please subscribe or activate your digital account today.

Email: kaulessar@northjersey.com

Twitter: @ricardokaul

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: NJ commemorates Invisible Pain Day Jan. 7 for those lost to suicide