How do we help our kids after Kansas City mass shooting? A UMKC psychologist gives tips
Thousands of fans flocked to Union Station for the 2024 Chiefs Super Bowl rally in Kansas City, ready to celebrate the team’s victory. But the day turned bloody as shots rang out, killing a radio host and mother of two, and injuring at least 23 other parade goers.
The victims of the shooting on Wednesday ranged in age from 8 to 47, police said. More than half were under the age of 16.
Children fled with their parents from Union Station. Other families tuned in on TV. Even more lined the streets along the proceeding parade route.
A tragedy like this is hard — maybe impossible — to understand as an adult. How do we talk to our kids about it?
The Star spoke with child psychologist Erin Hambrick, an associate professor at the University of Missouri Kansas City, to gather advice for parents and caregivers after the deadly mass shooting. Here’s what the disaster and crisis response specialist shared:
How can I support the kids in my life?
Talk to your child first and spend quality time with them.
Hambrick modeled what an adult might say to a child about the shooting:
“There was a shooting yesterday at the Super Bowl parade and some people were injured and we know at least one person was killed. Immediately following that, the police and emergency services did everything they could to keep people safe and get people out of harm’s way, and they’re still doing that,” Hambrick said.
The goal is to share the basic facts, emphasize that the shooting is over and include how adults brought a sense of safety to the situation.
While you might ask your child what they want to know during this initial conversation, Hambrick said that questions will probably pop up in the following days.
To be there for your child after the parade shooting, Hambrick suggested:
Returning to routines when ready, to bring back stability.
Going outdoors and feeling the benefits of moving around and being in nature.
Just being with your child, so you are there when questions come up.
Remember: Each child will be affected by death differently, “depending on his or her developmental level, cultural beliefs, personal characteristics, family situation, and previous experiences,” according to the National Association of School Psychologists.
How can I support older children and teens?
When young people have access to the internet, they can find out information that is exaggerated or untrue. Start a conversation by asking, “What have you heard?” and listen to see if there are inaccuracies in their story.
Another way to help your older kid is by encouraging them to step away from media about the event. That could mean doing something offline with your kid, like playing a game.
“I think some people like to engage with media a lot in these moments because it kind of makes them feel more in control ... But what it actually does is kind of makes us feel as if the event is still happening,” Hambrick said.
Is it normal for my child to react a certain way?
Immediately after the event, almost any reaction is normal, including wanting to be alone or with people, guilt for choosing to go to the parade or staying home, Hambrick said.
Stephen Lassen, a pediatric psychologist with the University of Kansas Health System, shared in a webinar Thursday some common reactions kids might have after a mass shooting:
Difficulty sleeping
Appetite changes
Changes in school performance
Withdrawing
Most individuals will return to normal behavior within a month, Hambrick said.
Those who were closely affected by the event or have experienced similar events in the past are more likely to experience lasting effects, like anxiety, depression and separation fears.
What if I am struggling myself?
If you as an adult are stressed, Hambrick said she encourages you to ask for support. See if a relative, friend, neighbor or congregation member could pick up groceries, watch the kids for a few hours or cook a meal.
“If you are making yourself available to your kids and if you are calling on your own social support to regulate you, then you are doing a good job right now,” she said.
Since children were likely with their parents at the parade, Hambrick said that a whole family might be stressed.
Where can I learn more?
These resources are available in the Kansas City area:
You can contact a hotline for support. Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Hotline.
Through the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, you can learn about psychological first aid to help people in a disaster without being a therapist.
The organization also has multilingual tip sheets for caregivers.
You can find mental health services, including low cost providers, at locations like ReDiscover in Lee’s Summit or UMKC Community Counseling and Assessment Services in Kansas City.
Witnesses to Wednesday’s shooting can call the Kansas City Police Department’s dedicated hotline: 816-413-3477. Additionally, those with photo or video footage can submit it to the FBI on the bureau’s website.
