Gratitude is healthiest thing at Thanksgiving table. Here’s how to have it all year

If your family is like mine, Thanksgiving might be a time of forced gratitude.

Before everyone can dive into the afternoon feast, a family member asks that each person at the table say one thing for which they’re grateful. Answers are usually similar: My family. My best friend. My job. My spouse. Pie. Basketball. It’s a bit hurried and thoughtless; everyone just wants to eat turkey and pumpkin pie.

But there’s some science behind gratitude — and not just once a year at the Thanksgiving table. In fact, all the experts say that the last thing you should do is say what you’re grateful for just once a year, as the smell of mashed potatoes wafts by your nose.

Experts say true gratitude is more than just a fleeting moment of thanks, the brief utterance of a thing that gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling in your stomach. One must purposely practice gratitude because it’s much easier to see our problems than what we have that’s good. So, we must force our brains to recognize good things rather than always dwell on troubles or fears of the future.

The best way to do this is by writing “gratitude letters” or keeping journals. In a study of 300 adults attending therapy, one group wrote a letter of gratitude every week for three weeks. That group reported “significantly better mental health.” Another way is to keep a journal of daily blessings, writing them down in groups of three or more via a journal like this one.

The health benefits — both mental and physical — are astounding. A study found people who did this were significantly happier and less depressed, and those feelings lingered even after they stopped. It’s a way to refocus your brain, which in turn triggers feelings of happiness and optimism. Practicing regular gratitude can even raise your self-esteem because it focuses you on “I have” rather than “I have not.”

“The practice of gratitude can have dramatic and lasting effects in a person’s life,” said Robert A. Emmons, professor of psychology at the University of California, Davis and a leading scientific expert on the science of gratitude. “It can lower blood pressure, improve immune function and facilitate more efficient sleep. Gratitude reduces lifetime risk for depression, anxiety and substance abuse disorders, and is a key resiliency factor in the prevention of suicide.”

Emmons found that keeping a gratitude diary for two weeks “produced sustained reductions in perceived stress (28%) and depression (16%) in health-care practitioners.”

Practicing regular gratitude can reduce the stress hormone, cortisol, which can also contribute to that spare tire around your stomach. For patients with congestive heart failure, practicing gratitude led to a 7% reduction in biomarkers of inflammation. Counting blessings and writing gratitude letters has been known to reduce the risk of depression by more than 40% over six months in people who were previously at risk. Who couldn’t use that?

I know what you’re thinking: This was a hard year. Next year could be harder. You might have already felt the pinch of inflation and high gas prices. Maybe airline tickets are too pricey, or your family can’t travel to you. Maybe you know you can’t give loved ones the kind of Christmas you want. You fear that next year, with a recession, may be even worse.

All those things may be true. Being thankful won’t change the economy, but it might change how you look at it.

This Thanksgiving, when Uncle Bob asks you what you’re thankful for, tell him your answer and vow to write them down after that. It won’t change your circumstances, but it just might change your perspective. By next year, you may be glad you did.