Gary Brown: Paying our fair share is not fun

"I just filled out my income tax," comedian Milton Berle once quipped. "Who says you can't get killed by a blank."

Many of us consider the day that is the deadline for filing state and federal income taxes – April 15, or tomorrow if you've been trying to forget – as a dark and looming moment to be postponed as long as possible. I've been in my share of vehicle lines in front of the post office late on the night of tax day, handing to a postal worker the envelopes that mail my returns to the federal and state money grabbers ... I mean taxation office workers.

Few of us are really happy about paying taxes. As an unidentified observer once said, "People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women." Undoubtedly, animals would whine, too, if they ever got W-2 or 1099 forms for their farm work.

Still, paying taxes is as old as the country and can be traced to colonial times. We started the country, for heaven's sake, on the protest of "No taxation without representation."

As humorist Gerald Barzan noted, "Taxation with representation ain't so hot either."

Filling out our forms

Now, with only a day to go, the most tardy among us finally must sit down and tackle the difficult and time-consuming task of filling out our tax forms.

The job isn't simple even for the smartest among us.

"This is too difficult for a mathematician," Albert Einstein is once supposed to have claimed about filing taxes. "It takes a philosopher."

Forms are varied and can be confusing. Instructions can seem vague, which is convenient to some taxpayers. It enhances our powers of deduction.

"The income tax," humorist Will Rogers, "has made more liars out of the American people than golf."

Our will to delay the inevitable is strong. People some states even seem to have used the calendar to occasionally get more time before taxing ourselves. Patriots Day is Monday April 15, 2024, in six states – Massachusetts, Maine, Florida, Wisconsin, Connecticut and North Dakota – pushing the need to file and pay up income taxes forward this year. Since the next day, Tuesday April 16, is Emancipation Day in Washington, D.C., the deadline for taxpayers in those states is delayed until Wednesday April 17.

And, yes, it's probably too late to move to any of those states.

A few patriotic words

Still, in a country where people long to enjoy a higher standard of living than much of the world, why are we so disenchanted with paying taxes to achieve it? I mean beyond what President Calvin Coolidge said, which was "Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery." And, well, don't most of us believe that our personal taxes are more than necessary?

With all due patriotism, author, columnist and policy analyst Holly Sklar once explained the reason for taxes.

"Taxes are how we pool our money for public health and safety, infrastructure, research, and services – from the development of vaccines and the Internet to public schools and universities, transportation, courts, police, parks, and safe drinking water."

I like all those things.

"The point to remember is that what the government gives," said John S. Coleman, described as "a savvy business executive" during the Eisenhower administration, "it first must take away."

The "taking away" part is what becomes is so unpalatable for us this time of year.

It puts many of us in the camp of radio and television personality Arthur Godfrey, who before his passing in the 1980s boasted that "I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States."

"The only thing is I could be just as proud for half the money."

Reach Gary at gary.brown.rep@gmail.com. On Twitter: @gbrownREP

This article originally appeared on The Alliance Review: Paying our fair share of taxes is not fun