Dad Will Think You're Pretty Funny With These Silly Father's Day Quotes
Everyone loves a dad joke, no matter how much they try to deny it. 😂 While not much can compete with something so iconic, this list of funny Father's Day quotes comes pretty close. With Father's Day coming up, these quotes also have the added bonus of having a bit of sentimental value, too.
Don't worry, though—because these aren't just ordinary uplifting quotes you'll want to put on a Father's Day card (though you definitely could). These funny Father's Day quotes are a bit witty, silly, and totally relatable. This quote by Jimmy Kimmel is a great example: “I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.” Others are those you can use to poke fun at your dad! Like this quote by Jerry Seinfeld: “You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.” Plus, some of these will also make perfect Father's Day messages, too. (Something not too emotional, but also not too sarcastic is always perfect for things like that.)
Just one read through these, and you're sure to let out a laugh. Spread that joy with Dad and the rest of the family by reading them aloud on his special day. And while you're at it, take a read through our favorite Father's Day jokes.
Stephen Colbert
“Never underestimate kids’ tenacity. Raising a child is like wrestling a small but relentless opponent.”
Elton John
“I just sit there and make up songs and sing to [my son] in gibberish. I’m very good at gibberish now.”
Steve Martin
“A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”
John Wilmot
“Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.”
Bob Odenkirk
“My daughter got me a ‘World’s Best Dad’ mug. So we know she’s sarcastic.”
Richelle E. Goodrich, “Slaying Dragons”
“The best fathers have the softest, sweetest hearts. In other words, great dads are real marshmallows.
Taye Diggs
“How come my 3-year-old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur and I can’t even remember my home phone number?”
Dave Barry
“Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. Really.”
Jerry Seinfeld
“Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.”
Jim Gaffigan
“My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys.”
Tim Russert
“The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.”
Jerry Seinfeld
“You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.”
Ryan Reynolds
“Being a dad isn’t just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.”
H. Jackson Browne
“Life doesn’t come with an instruction book — that’s why we have fathers.”
Jimmy Kimmel
“I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.”
Lin Manuel Miranda
“Good parenting means investing in your child’s future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.”
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
“A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.”
Ashton Kutcher
“The first one, I almost became a doula. I was reading every book. I was ready. This one I haven’t done anything. I’m like, ‘Well, we didn’t break the first one.”
Reed Markham
“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.”
Neil Patrick Harris
“You have to be adaptable because they consistently keep changing. They’ll do something that blows your mind and then they’ll spit all their food on the carpet.”
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