Final Fantasy 7 Characters Ranked By How Traumatized They Are

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Why do a normal Final Fantasy 7 characters ranked list when you could examine just how deeply troubled the cast is? I asked myself before writing this, and while it sounds like a quirky premise just for the sake of it, there’s pretty good reason for it.

Sephiroth, shampoo memes, and puppy dogs might get most of the popular attention, but underneath all that Final Fantasy 7 is about deeply traumatized people and how they handle the terrible situations life throws at them. Sometimes, it’s their own fault. Some characters barely have reason to feel aggrieved and take that tiny reason to the extreme.

The best characters are the most relatable ones, the folks who deal with some of the same trials and tragedies that we do – whether it’s the excessive worry of a parent or the gnawing, nagging certainty that we’re actually failures in disguise.

Related: Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth Will Have Deep Cleavage And Bodacious Beach Bods

Final Fantasy 7 Characters Ranked

Cait Sith

Cait Sith takes some big risks for reasons we won’t get into here, but he’s got a cat suit and a mechanical Moogle to protect him. Heck, he even says he can replace the suit at a moment’s notice if something happens. Big risks are admirable, but when you’re in the position Cait Sith is, it’s the list you can do.

Cid Highwind

Final Fantasy 7 Cid is a jerk who creates his own problems that barely count as problems and then complains when someone saves his life. Yes, not realizing your dream is sad. You know what would be more tragic? Having people hate you enough so they let you die in the pursuit of those dreams. Cid had someone who cared, treated her like dirt, and hid behind a sad, gruff man exterior to avoid dealing with it.

Sephiroth

Sephiroth really doesn’t have anything to complain about. He has perfect hair, stylish clothes, heroic abilities – the man’s an idol in Midgar before things take a turn for the worse. His trigger? Learning his mom’s an evil alien. Okay, sure, that’s bound to mess anyone up a little, but c’mon man. Pull yourself together.

Zack Fair

Zack is the epitome of break the cutie. He starts his career in Soldier as a silly little guy who thinks the giant corporation that’s waging war on innocent people actually has everyone’s interests at heart, and then after a while – probably longer than it should take, really – it registers that Shinra’s not so good. Then he dies.

Well, maybe. Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth might say otherwise.

Yuffie Kitsuragi

Yuffie falls in the “normal trauma” category that I just made up. She witnesses her homeland’s war against Shinra and has some impossibly high standards to meet at home, but until she joins with Cloud and company, that’s about it. It’s enough for anyone to deal with, for sure, but it’s less deranged than what some others in the party have to go through.

Barret Wallace

Your life is never the same once someone else becomes your responsibility. Walking across the street? Oh no, what if you die and your loved one is left alone to fend for themselves! Every day is trauma of its own. That’s basically Barret with his adopted daughter Marlene, and his love for her drives his fight against Shinra and anyone who could make the world a more dangerous place for her. The circumstances around him adopting Marlene don’t do much to help him relax either. Poor man’s got a lot on his plate.

Red XIII

Red’s got a bit more on his plate, though, like being kidnapped and also the last of a vanished species. Original FF7 leaves his character woefully underdeveloped, but his story is a sad and lonely one. Essentially, he’s a child – albeit a furry one – whose attempts at proving his bullies wrong result in a series of catastrophes that turn him into a potential Sephiroth clone.

Tifa Lockheart

Watching a national hero murder your dad and set your house on fire isn’t gonna do anyone any favors, although Tifa manages to conceal her trauma pretty well. Granted, everyone’s memories got a healthy dose of screwed up thanks to plot devices, so maybe she doesn’t fully remember anyway.

Vincent Valentine

Vincent’s had a heck of a time. He falls in love with a brilliant scientist, then gets shot and almost dies for refusing to participate in some abominable experiments. Hojo messes with his body and turns him into a half-monster, and then his former lover tries to fix things by making them worse. No wonder he wants to stay in his plush, padded coffin.

Aerith Gainsborough

Even aside from “that scene,” Aerith sure did go through some stuff. Shinra hunts her and her mother, her mother gets murdered, then Aerith is on the run from Shinra. She’s kidnapped, held for study, and scheduled for forced mating with Red XIII as Hojo tries creating a new Ancient. Add in the Remake trauma of apparently knowing the events of multiple timelines, and it’s genuinely impressive how she keeps such an upbeat attitude all the time.

Cloud Strife

Cloud’s so traumatized that Square Enix had to make new stories just to explain how traumatized he is. Crisis Core takes it to another level, but even in plain Final Fantasy 7, a lot’s happened to the poor guy. He’s bullied and neglected at home, and after his grand departure to make a name for himself with Shinra’s elite core of fighters, he finds he’s not even good enough to join.

Everything that happens once he returns to Nibelheim is so extreme that he suppresses his memories and takes on what amounts to a new identity before finally regaining his sense of self. It’s a lot, and it’s what makes him one of the most relatable protagonists in the series.

Related: Final Fantasy 14 Is Finally Coming to Xbox