If You’re Feeling Bad About Staying In On A Sunny Day, It Might Be ‘Sunshine Guilt’
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As April showers make way for May flowers, sunnier days are finally on the way. For many, sunshine is a call to get outside and soak up every last ray, but what if you can’t—or what if you just don’t want to? Enter “sunshine guilt,” that feeling you get when you know you really should go outside, but, for whatever reason, you don’t—and then you spend the whole time feeling bad about it.
If you’re stuck working in an office or can't get outdoors for some reason, a bright, sunny day can feel like a burden—and based on the recent social media convos about "sunshine guilt," you're not alone. One TikTok user explains, “The second it’s sunny out and there are blue skies, I feel this deep weight on my chest that I am wasting time unless I am laying in the sun soaking up every UV ray.” She shares that she even cancels plans and schedules work around maximizing her time in the sun.
Another TikTok user describes feeling almost trapped outside after sunbathing from 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. “I’m exhausted. I’m hot. I’m starving. But I can’t go inside because look how beautiful it is today,” she said in her video.
Ahead, experts share the science behind sunshine guilt, plus how to cope.
Meet the experts: Kelsee Keitel, LMHC, is a counselor and eco-therapist at Hemlock Counseling Services. Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, is a psychotherapist and the founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy.
What is sunshine guilt?
Sunshine guilt refers to the pressure you feel to make the most of a sunny day. Whether you’re stuck inside because of an indoor commitment like work or would just prefer to relax inside at home, sunshine guilt is that little voice in your head whispering, Everyone else is outside enjoying the sunlight except you, so get out there ASAP.
Experts say there are many potential reasons for it. “There are both societal and personal expectations that good weather should be enjoyed, creating a sense of obligation to be outside and make the most of it,” says psychotherapist Rachel Goldberg, LMFT, founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy.
A scarcity mindset—the outlook that there are only a limited number of resources, like a sunny day—could also be driving the pressure to get outside. “Some of us are susceptible to having a scarcity mindset, believing that if we don't seize the day now, then who knows when the next 'sunny and 75' day will be,” says Kelsee Keitel, LMHC, counselor and eco-therapist at Hemlock Counseling Services. “We feel guilty because we'll never get that day back.”
Not to mention, spending time outside has a positive impact on cortisol levels, anxiety and depression, and general mental distress, says Keitel. Plus, many people associate going outside with positive things like being active, spending time with others, or even going on vacation, she adds. So you may experience guilt or the “fear of missing out” (FOMO) if you're not engaging in and reaping those benefits while others do.
FOMO also occurs when we see others enjoying a sunny day on social media or through your windows at work. It’s easy to feel like everyone else is making the most of the fleeting, beautiful weather except for you.
Why do we get FOMO?
At a time when social media gives endless opportunities to compare yourself to others, FOMO has become an all-too-familiar feeling. The social comparison theory suggests that humans have a natural tendency for comparison that can ultimately make you feel bad, Goldberg says. “When you perceive others as having better experiences, you may feel inferior or like you have somehow failed by not being where you should be in life,” she adds.
Though the term was coined in the 2000s, FOMO has technically been around since the beginning of time. “From an evolutionary lens, being part of a group was essential for survival. Missing out on group activities could have meant being left out of important opportunities or resources needed to survive,” Goldberg explains. Feeling pressure to spend time with others is natural, but in the modern age, it can spiral into something bigger.
While FOMO can feel unbearable at times, it doesn’t always have to be a bad thing, Keitel says. In fact, she calls it “an indicator” or “a little flashing light” that tells you that you aren’t acting in alignment with your values. This blinking light can be a positive, giving you the push you need to honor your innermost needs.
“We can either beat ourselves up about [not being outside], or we can take it as a cue to potentially refine some of our systems to ensure that we get that sunshine next time,” Keitel says. So, if you feel like staying indoors isn't helping you out, you might look for ways to change your schedule to allow for more time in the sun—or maybe identify the next sunny day on your weather app so you can intentionally enjoy it.
How To Cope With Sunshine Guilt
Navigating sunshine guilt starts with reframing your thoughts, Goldberg says. For example, instead of focusing on what you’re missing out on, you can focus on what you’re gaining. (Think: Maybe staying indoors is helping boost your productivity or allowing some time for much-needed rest.)
Plus, staying in doesn’t have to be “all or nothing,” says Keitel. “Could you actually squeeze in 5-10 minutes outside, but your mindset is stuck on the idea that you must go outside for a full hour or else it's not worth it?” she asks. If you're busy but still feel FOMO, you can open a window, play music that makes you feel connected with nature, incorporate more plants into your workspace, or even eat something “earthy” like a salad or berries, Keitel says. You can also explore outdoor working options (like having a walking meeting), take a call outside, eat lunch in the sun, or find other ways to engage your senses, she adds.
If you’re experiencing sunshine guilt, it’s also important to practice self-compassion. “You’re allowed to feel disappointed,” Keitel says. “Give yourself permission to feel that for a bit, rather than shoving it away, and you’ll be better equipped to move on.” Also, remember that these feelings of missing out are temporary. “Other opportunities will come along, and this feeling will pass,” Goldberg says.
To cope, you can even plan those future outdoor opportunities right now to ease your state of sunshine guilt. Not only will this ease some of the current feelings of angst by giving you something to look forward to, but it can also push back against a scarcity mindset by reminding you that there’s another beautiful day coming soon.
The bottom line? Spending time in the sun could be someone’s description of a perfect day, but if it’s not yours today, don’t let sunshine guilt keep you from enjoying where you are.
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