Etiquette 101: Tips and Tricks When Traveling to Paris
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You hear it all the time from fellow Americans. "The waiters in Paris are rude." But, like in any case, there are two sides to every story. Are those serving your tartare de boeuf or wearing the latest French runway pieces eternal grinches? Or could it be that Americans are truly obnoxious travelers?
On the cover our summer issue, which focused entirely on Paris–a love note to the city that will experience the storm of couture week, men's fashion week, the Olympics, and a nail-biting election all in one summer–liberte, egalite, and scandale are emblazoned in red. Heading to Paris this summer? We've asked Parisians and other Francophones for a few tips on how to avoid the last word in the aforementioned trio.
What is the Paris Syndrome?
"There are so many videos online about 'how to dress French'," Joost Van Der Ree, a Paris-based fashion photographer tells T&C. "Tourists often try too hard, hunting for misguided tutorials on how to dress like a Parisian. True Parisian style is being original and yourself. Have some humor with it and put the beret down." It's like someone rolling up to Raoul's downtown in a look from Bass Pros Shop.
Ce Quoi... Oat Milk?
Comedian Andy Haynes once said, "I ordered oat milk in Paris and the waiter said no," and the TikTok skit below illustrates the situation. While trendy Parisian cafes like Coutume Cafe , Bonjour Jacob, and Le Peleton Cafe have alternative milk options, it might be more difficult to find them at traditional brasseries. Asking for it isn't so much of an etiquette issue, just a very American behavior.
Save Athleisure for Los Angeles
"It's not hot, not chic," fashion designer Steven Passaro tells T&C. "Gym clothes should only be worn at the gym." According to him, you won't fit in with the locals if you're seen out and about wearing your Lululemons. But, those who are keeping up with their fitness shouldn't worry. He says running up and down the Seine or wearing athleisure at the sports club La Montgolfiere (rumored to be the go-to gym for designer Simon Porte of Jacquemus) is of course okay.
No, Not Everyone Needs to Hear Your Conversation
It was a quiet morning in the lobby of the Bulgari Hotel Paris during couture week in January. The sun was slowly peaking through the cloudy haze and the smell of fresh espresso wafted through the air. Suddenly: a thunderous voice with a distinctly American accent belted from across the room. "Parisians talk very low," Sofia Achaval de Montaigue, a Parisian-Argentinian socialite and founder of clothing brand Acheval Pampa, tells T&C. "It's like a city with no noise. When you are out at a restaurant or cafe, you always notice when Americans are around because they talk very loudly."
And, Let's Not Talk About Work
Unlike Americans, the French are pretty serious about their work-life balance and there's nothing more crass than talking business after 5 p.m. In fact, it's a pretty big faux pas to lead a conversation with "What do you do for work?" Try instead: a conversation about a new art exhibition. Extra points if the exhibit is at a lesser-known museum.
Is Duo Lingo Enough?
Who knows, but it's a start. This is a given regardless of your destination: try to speak the language of the place you are visiting. A simple "Bonjour Monsieur/Madame" can go a long way, even if the person you speak to replies in English. When I first started going to Le Comptoir de Saint Peres (an unpretentious cafe on the left bank where a few fashion big names frequent), they didn't receive my butchered French well. But, after a month or so, they let me stay at my table during lunch rush hour. The two English-only speakers next to me were booted out. It felt like being back in middle school when the mean girl was finally nice to you: the ultimate approval.
Coffee is a Luxurious Ritual, Not a Rushed Necessity
I have never felt more American (and out of place in a European country) than when I took an espresso to go early on in my cliche Hemingway-esque life in Paris. "The whole take-out coffee thing, for sure," Achavel de Montaigue says when asked what sets Americans apart. "Parisians are all about having coffee in cafes. There is a ritual around it, and having a moment to stop and have coffee is important to us."
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