Erie moms from Congo, Syria share advice for immigrants, new mothers. How cultures differ

"Mom, can you tell me a story?"

"Mom, can you fill out this paper for school?"

"Mom ..."

"Mom ..."

"Mom ..."

Hortense Kassale hears a chorus of boys' voices calling her. The 41-year-old single mother has five sons, ranging in age from 2 to 21. Kassale, who is originally from the Democratic Republic of Congo, moved to Erie with four of them in February of 2014. Souad Mahfoud was already a mother of six when her family arrived in Erie in November of 2016. She was born and raised in Damascus, the capital of Syria. Her seventh child was born in Erie in 2018. Both mothers have hope for their children's futures and advice for other moms.

Kasale said she loves taking care of her kids and making sure they get a good education.

"A mother has to be strong in every situation," Kassale said. But she admitted, "Being a mother is not that easy."

Still, even when she's just returned to their Erie home after her second shift job ends at midnight and a son is up waiting to ask her to fill out a paper for school, she loves being a mom.

"You never are bored," she said.

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Mahfoud's youngest son, the one born in Erie, is now 6. He has three sisters and three brothers, the oldest of whom is 22. Their father is Mahfoud's husband, Omar Aloush.

Haneen Aloush, their oldest daughter at 20, translated for her mother, 44. Through Haneen Aloush, Mahfoud said she loves her kids and is very proud of her family. She likes having her children study. Mahfoud wants Haneen Aloush and her older brother to become doctors and both are studying toward that goal.

Kassale said the hope she has for her sons makes her happy. She wants them to become "great people" and help this country. Her youngest, 2-year-old Adwin Nsola, is the only son born in the United States.

Raising kids in different countries

Both moms said there have been differences between raising children in the United States and other countries.

In the Congo, Kassale said, parents rely on family members or neighbors to watch children while their parents work. Here, she said, many parents who want to work have to find daycare and pay for it.

But kids will be kids no matter where they live. In the Congo, Kassale said, her sons spent too much time outside playing games. In Erie, they spend too much time inside playing games.

Mahfoud said one difference between her six older children and her youngest son is that being born here, he doesn't know their home country or their culture firsthand. So the family is trying to teach him that, said Haneen Aloush, who was born in Damascus but also lived with the family in Jordan before coming to the United States.

Growing up, she and her older brother played outdoors while their younger siblings here in the U.S. spend more time in their rooms with cellphones and video games.

While U.S. children do honor their moms, especially on Mother's Day, Mahfoud and Haneen Aloush said there does seem to be a little more respect for mothers in Syria and Jordan. But they said there is more affordable help and care here for new mothers.

Advice for other moms

Mahfoud advised patience for mothers, whether they're bringing home their first child or already have children but are moving with them to a new country.

She said it took five or six months for her family to adjust to being in Erie. She stressed the importance of having her children go to school and learn the local language.

Mahfoud said it was also important to support her kids in their learning and to teach them not to quit.

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Kassale said she tries to set good examples for her children and teach them to follow rules.

Her advice to mothers, whether a first-time parent or someone new to Erie, is to stay strong, stay close and loving, and take good care of the children.

Looking to others with experience can also help, whether you're a new mom or one in a new place. Mahfoud said her family found neighbors here who were willing to help, and now her family tries to do the same.

Dana Massing can be reached at dmassing@timesnews.com.

This article originally appeared on Erie Times-News: Mother's Day: Erie immigrants share parental advice to new moms