Epic new low for Cristobal: Miami Hurricanes, with 8 turnovers, embarrassed 45-21 by Duke | Opinion

Maybe it’s these inflationary times in which we live, but, $80 million sure doesn’t seem to buy as much as it used to, does it?

The home loss to Middle Tennessee State earlier this year will never not be embarrassing to the Miami Hurricanes football program.

Saturday’s home debacle vs. Duke presents a strong argument for being as bad. It was conference loss to a big underdog — an opponent Miami had beaten by a combined 95-10 the previous two seasons. And it was an exercise in self-sabotage, with an avalanche of eight Canes turnovers.

That’s one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight turnovers. By a program that has won five national championships. It was the most turnovers in a game by any Power 5 college football team since 2009. Inexcusable.

“Obviously, not good,” coach Mario Cristobal began his postgame autopsy with an instant understatement of the year front-runner. “Not a good performance.”

Fitting to the matinee nightmare this 45-21 UM loss was, starting quarterback Tyler Van Dyke left with an apparent shoulder injury in the second quarter, and the crowd was dismal, the very type Van Dyke had in mind earlier this season when he said — controversially but justifiably — that he prefers playing road games for the actual college atmosphere.

The attendance was announced as 57,421. Perhaps whomever was counting was seeing double. Hard Rock Stadium could have been nicknamed The Elbow Room.

The UM season now sags with a 3-4 record and 1-2 in the ACC, a program in stark regression and screeching in reverse — at least right now. Year 1 has been a mess for Cristobal, the $80 million Man after signing for that money over 10 years to leave Oregon and return to Miami, where he is a two-time national champion former player.

“That was regression,” Cristobal admitted. “All out of sorts. Ball security is a huge emphasis. Whatever we’ve done, it hasn’t worked. We built our own hole and kept digging it deeper.”

Quick aside: Oregon entered Saturday 5-1 and ranked No. 10 without Cristobal, while Miami remained a team and a head coach still looking for their first signature win in a season that thus far has been a stunning display of mediocrity by all concerned.

The homecoming could only be going worse for Cristobal if a meteor fell on him on the sideline.

His team appeared to quit in the fourth quarter, when four of the turnovers occurred.

“We’ll see on tape,” said the coach when asked about a late lack of effort. “If that shows up on tape, [those players] gotta go someplace else.”

Three very lose-able games remain in the regular season, vs. Florida State, at Clemson and vs. Pitt. Then again, UM has demonstrated that most any game this season is a win that cannot be assumed and a loss waiting to happen.

The preseason dream of Miami winning the Coastal Division and reaching the ACC Championship seems like silly talk now. The consolation of merely eking out six wins and at least getting some sort of bowl invitation — that’s still in play, at least. But even that, like beating Duke, is not a gimme.

Miami led 7-0 early on Van Dyke’s short scoring pass to Colbie Young, but trailed 17-7 at the half.

The Canes would regain the lead 21-17 in the third quarter when backup QB Jake Garcia spun a 71-yard TD pass to Young and then a 34-yard score to Will Mallory — back-to-back.

Nothing else went right. Most everything else was pure calamity.

The super-sloppy Canes would commit eight turnovers (eight!), three Garcia interceptions amid a sad parade of five lost fumbles. The eight giveaways led directly to 31 Blue Devils points.

Miami quite literally handed the game to Duke with its brutal cocktail of carelessness and incompetence.

The Hurricanes return to the field next week at Virginia. That team is bad. UM might even be favored.

It will mean nothing.

Not with this Canes team.

Not after Saturday’s colossal embarrassment.

Not for this high-profile, high-paid new coach hired to be a savior but struggling for answers.

And not this season as it lurches and stumbles in a pool of disappointment.

You’d be foolish (or joking) to say seven games in that the Cristobal hire looks ill-fated. It’s much too early for that, and he’s too good and he cares too much about why he came here.

But seven games in is not too soon to conclude the coach is discovering the magnitude of the undertaking, of building UM back up to challenge for that elusive sixth national title.

“When you’re trying to rebuild a program and you get hit in the face like this, you gotta be a tough son of a gun,” Cristobal said, because what else could he say. “You better get back up and go back to work.”