Epic? Best ever? Our Super Bowl grades for the game, Rihanna’s halftime (uh-oh) and TV ads | Opinion

Dear People in Charge: Please make the Super Bowl a national holiday or at least move it to Saturday because the game and everything around it is too gigantic to immediately get past and have to function the next day. That is why productivity across America sags today as millions call in sick from work so they might debate how this game ranked in the pantheon, the spectacle of Rihanna’s halftime performance and the commercials you had to shush your loud party to try to hear.

This being America we cannot agree on anything we saw, so I have volunteered to be the national arbiter, the Monday morning quarterback with the final and official verdict on Kansas City’s 38-35 comeback win over Philadelphia and everything surrounding it.

▪ The Super Bowl itself: Epic. All-time-best conversation. Grade: A.

Yes, OK, the ending was not perfect. The Chiefs’ late clock-strategy of intentionally not scoring a touchdown and then kneeling twice before the eventual short, winning field goal was deflating anticlimax.

It would be like if Abraham Lincoln, in his Gettysburg Address in the midst of the Civil War, had punctuated the end of his most famous speech by audibly breaking wind. Not ideal.

But don’t tell me the end still was not dramatic. Had that 27-yard kick with eight seconds left been blocked or otherwise missed and Philly went on to win, Chiefs coach Andy Reid never would have lived down how his late strategy had backfired..

We still were gifted a controversy albeit one short-lived.. The late and costly defensive holding penalty against the Eagles seemed really borderline ... until Philly cornerback James Bradberry admitted his guilt postgame, saying, “I was hoping [the referee] would let it go, but it was a hold., so they called it.”

(Gotta love it when conspiracy theories are laid bare. Speaking of which, Damar Hamlin is alive, apparently.)

This game’s redeeming bottom line is that the Chiefs, underdogs and trailing by 10 at the half, rallied led by Patrick Mahomes hobbling on an ankle he had reinjured to end a nine-game losing streak by newly minted league MVPs who then failed in the Super Bowl.

That’s legend-and-lore stuff, something we would look back on in 10 years if we finally agreed Mahomes’ career has approached Tom Brady territory.

▪ Rihanna at halftime: Also epic. Also all-time-greatest convo. Grade: A.

The only thing this young woman’s halftime performance lacked was Fox cameras cutting occasionally to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell in his suite, looking uncomfortable over a crotch-grab or two by Rihanna and the unabashedly sexy, risque choreography involving her dancers.

Oh, or maybe the fact her first number was titled, “Bitch Better Have My Money.” Was Roger OK right then? Dd he need smelling salts?

Rihanna gave the NFL the halftime spectacle that stage needs. The high-in-the-air stagecraft was of a scale and ambition you would see in an Olympics Opening Ceremony. The songs were great; the performance, too. The not unexpected lip-syncing was annoying (there oughta be a law), but the songs were great.

Also loved the cheeky self-promotion when Rihanna managed to flash a small makeup case form her Fenty collection.

Last year’s SB halftime with Dr. Dre, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Mary J. Blige and Kendrick Lamar drew.

Sunday’s one-women show — and a pregnant women at that! — was a fitting encore.

▪ The TV commercials: Whatever. The typical array. Grade C.

The mystique and aura of the Super Bowl ad faded by its own hand because most are now available beforehand in trailers or full version. The surprise element is missing. That’s big.

USA Today’s 35th annual Ad-Meter rankings went for sentiment in ranking The Farmer’s Dog’s “Forever” ad No. 1.

My favorite was the NFL’s “Run With It” commercial promoting women in football and the flag game.

The PopCorners Breaking Bad reunion was popular at my small gathering. Workday’s “Rock Star” had had me at the Ozzy Osbourne cameo.

Hated the T-Mobile spot with John Travolta singing from “Grease.” Needed the late-great Olivia Newton-John to save it.

Not sure what to make of those “Jesus. He gets us” ads. I suppose a religious scholar might suggest The Signatry, the Kansas-based Christian foundation behind the ads, could put the $7 million spent on a 30-second Super Bowl to better use in the world than on buying a Super Bowl ad.

Also wondering if Jesus would approve of an ad preaching “Love the ones you hate” being paid for by a group that also has funded a group that is fighting to limit abortion access and allow anti-LGBTQ discrimination. What say, Jesus?

Bring back the Budweiser Clydesdale befriending a bedraggled donkey in a straw hat in the tearjerker we haven’t already seen five times.

Also, miss ya, Betty White!