'Empty Nester' Shih-Tzu's Depression When Kid Leaves for College Is So Relatable

It’s back-to-school time, and all over the country, students and parents alike are reckoning with what that means. And though many people don’t consider it, so are the nation’s pets. Even animals who don’t usually suffer from the behavioral problems known as “separation” anxiety can experience worrisome emotions when it comes to members of their household changing their schedules—or, in the case of college students, disappearing entirely.

In this video, a senior Shih-Tzu mix named Tito is clearly feeling the pressure of his coming role as an empty-nester dog. Though some dogs would leap at the chance to be the sole recipient of mom’s love and attention, this Shih-Tzu is obviously aware of the changes coming to his household, and is clearly going to miss the young human with whom he’s spent the last eleven years.

Related: Shih-Tzu Puppy's Reaction to Seeing Mom After 3 Days Is the Picture of Cuteness

In the comments, other people confess that they recognize that particular canine expression of dismay. “They know what packing means,” says one in commiseration.

But do they?

Do Dogs Feel Grief?

The first few weeks after there’s a major change in the household like a child leaving for college can be a confusing time for everyone left behind—humans and animals alike. Particularly if the dog was used to sleeping with the kid, they can be at a bit of a loss as to what to do with themselves. Even when my daughter went to sleep away camp this summer “her” cat kept wandering the house looking for her, and even displaced “my” cat on my bed at night.

It can often be hard to judge how much preparation a pet needs to grapple with changes in schedules and household make ups. They don’t have the same sense of comprehension as a human would, and over-emphasizing someone’s departure might actually make the experience more stressful for an animal than otherwise. As my vet used to say, the animal is reacting to your emotions as much as to the circumstances. If you look stressed about leaving them behind, they will be stressed, too.

So although it seems like Tito here is getting depressed about the piles of luggage indicating that his boy is leaving for a long time, it’s also possible that he’s picking up on the vibes of his mom and brother. They know that big changes are happening in the young man’s life, and Tito is no fool. Because his humans are feeling it, he is, too.

Helping Your Dog Cope With Grief

Helping a dog adjust to a family member moving away is not unlike the process of helping them cope with grief. Animals feel grief just like humans do, and exhibit many of the similar signs and symptoms. They may act mopey and uninterested int heir usual activities. They may have trouble eating. They may also engage in naughty behavior, such as having accidents in the house.

It’s important to spend time with your animal under these circumstances, giving them extra love and attention. If possible, make sure that items with the family member’s scent are still around the house so they have something to remember their loved one by. As much as possible, keep to a similar routine, and have alternative activities, like walks or playdates to help distract them from what they are missing.

In a few weeks, your pet will get used to the “new normal”—and boy will they be happy to see their human again come winter break!

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