Elliot Page shares the 'biggest joy' he's learned from transitioning: 'There I am'
Elliot Page is opening up about his life after he came out as transgender in December 2020.
In a Wednesday cover story with Esquire timed to the start of LGBTQ Pride Month, Page said the best part of transitioning was getting to look at himself in the mirror.
“I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself," he said. "I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself."
Page said that the whole experience was "indescribable" because "I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present.”
As a kid, Page remembered what it was like to grow up as a female to a mother who was a minister’s daughter. He recalled being so "distraught" when he was told that he couldn't play soccer with the boys anymore. “I was crying to my mum, ‘Please, one more year, one more year!’” he remembered.
Page did get one more year on the boys’ team, but after that, he was off to play with the girls and he later lost interest in the sport.
In 2014, Page came out as lesbian, and the reaction that he got was much more different than the backlash that he's received for being trans.
I didn’t expect it to be so big,"he said. "In terms of the actual quality of the response, it was what I expected: love and support from many people and hatred and cruelty and vitriol from so many others."
"Transphobia is just so, so, so extreme. The hatred and the cruelty is so much more incessant," Page added.
Page noted that sometimes people don't really get what trans folks have to deal with every day. He recalled a time when a man approached him “less than an arm’s length away" and yelled homophobic slurs at him.
Page decided to do nothing but look straight ahead. He said that he was fearful the stranger might get violent with him if he responded. However, the situation escalated to a point where the stranger yelled, “This is why I need a gun!” when Page started to walk away.
But now that he's living in his truth, Page says that he experiences euphoria just by doing normal tasks every day.
"For me, euphoria is simply the act of waking up, making my coffee, and sitting down with a book and being able to read," he said. "I know that may sound strange, but I can’t stress enough the degree of discomfort and struggle that I was experiencing that got in the way of everything. How could it not?"
To celebrate LGBTQ pride, TODAY is sharing this community’s history, pain, joy and what’s next for the movement. We will be publishing personal essays, stories, videos and special features throughout the entire month of June.
