Doyel: A couple was engaged, a baby was born at Lucas Oil Stadium, but Colts lost anyway
INDIANAPOLIS – In another universe, and by that I mean one where good things happen to the 2023 Indianapolis Colts, this game ends with a wedding on the field and cigars for fans and a win for the Indianapolis Colts.
This being 2023 and those being the Colts, the game ended with flags definitely in the end zone and Cleveland’s Kareem Hunt maybe in the end zone and the scoreboard showing a 39-38 loss for the Colts.
This came days after rookie quarterback Anthony Richardson was determined to need season-ending shoulder surgery, meaning journeyman backup quarterback Gardner Minshew II would have to lead the Indianapolis offense Sunday against the Browns’ No. 1-rated defense. A Colts win, under those circumstances, would’ve been a fairy tale.
And this day had that kind of start.
A Colts fan proposed shortly before kickoff, and with everyone watching, she said yes. Moments later, with nobody watching, another couple was whisked into a stadium first-aid station, where the mom delivered a bouncing baby girl! Lucas Oil Stadium has been home to Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck, monster truck pulls and the Final Four, but until Sunday it had never been home to the birth of a child. Mother and daughter were taken by ambulance to a local hospital, where both were said to be resting delightfully.
With the impossible out of the way, it seemed plausible enough for Minshew to piece up the Browns defense – leading the NFL in points (15.4 per game) and yards (200.4) allowed – for 21 points and 248 yards by halftime, and to keep it going. The Colts posted season-high totals of 456 yards and 38 points. Minshew threw for 305 yards. Jonathan Taylor gained 120 yards from scrimmage.
For the better part of 60 minutes this was a fairy tale we were watching, and the Colts were starting to believe. When receiver Michael Pittman Jr. caught a pass near midfield late in the fourth quarter, shook off one tackler and bounced off another to head unimpeded to the end zone 75 yards away for the go-ahead touchdown, he held up two fingers, like, deuces – the “see ya later” celebration made famous by Miami’s speedy Tyreek Hill. Pittman is, for a receiver, slow. When he held up those fingers, channeling his inner cheetah, you thought anything was possible.
But, no.
This game had the ending these 2023 Colts were destined to have, right down to the last words chanted by the last Colts fans still in the stadium:
Refs you suck
Refs you suck
Insider Joel A. Erickson: Mistakes, late penalties cost Colts in 39-38 loss to Browns
Colts caught bad whistle from officials
The officials did have a rough game. You can say that, from the perspective of an Indianapolis newspaper, without being a homer. The Colts defense had two interceptions overturned, by Kenny Moore II and DeForest Buckner, on the same kind of call: The player catches the ball and clearly has it under control when he – and the ball – touch the turf. The ball never leaves his hands. Never even wobbles.
Didn’t we decide those were catches?
Not for the Colts. Not in 2023. Not with this officiating crew anyway.
Call it chance, call it bad luck, but every key call went against the Colts. Some of them, like those interceptions, were baffling. So was a flag against Cleveland for having an ineligible receiver downfield. That came in the fourth quarter, Browns down 31-30. Browns QB P.J. Walker, who played for the Colts in another lifetime – he backed up Luck, if you can believe that – had completed a 10-yard pass, but the flag nullified that and forced Cleveland into second-and-long purgatory.
Or not.
Officials huddled, waved off the flag, and never explained why. Now Cleveland was in kicker Dustin Hopkins’ monster field goal range, and sure enough he hit his third FG of at least 54 yards, this one from 58 for a 33-31 lead.
How roughly officiated was this game for the Colts? This rough: None of that is even why Colts fans were chanting, “Ref you suck!”
Nope, that happened on the Browns’ final drive, when Cleveland drove 80 yards for the winning touchdown, the biggest play a 30-yard completion from Walker to Elijah Moore on third-and-10. Moore got behind Darrell Baker Jr., who I’m sure is a very nice man.
Later, with 47 seconds left, Colts linebacker E.J. Speed sacked Walker and forced a fumble that Buckner recovered. Game over! Colts win! Fairy tales do come true! Now let’s check out that engagement party and smoke some celebratory cigars. Wonder what the new parents will name their baby girl? Maybe the middle name can be “Lucas” or, I don’t know, “Oil.”
Wait, what’s that flag doing?
Oh. Turns out Baker had grabbed Browns receiver Amari Cooper with both arms around the waist, preventing him from breaking free into the end zone. That’s unfortunate, because Walker was never, and I mean ever, going to throw the ball to Cooper. Not with Speed mauling him.
Alas, thanks to illegal contact on Baker, Cleveland gets a new set of downs. First-and-goal from the 8. Walker throws an incompletion into the end zone for Donovan People-Jones, and it’s not close, and wait. What’s that flag doing?
Oh. Turns out, while we were watching the pass sail out of the end zone, Baker was grabbing People-Jones’ left arm with both hands. Alas, with Baker, committing defensive pass interference, the Browns get another new set of downs. First-and-goal from the 1.
Baker pitched a fit after both plays, which explains why he committed each foul:
He has no idea what “illegal contact” or “pass interference” is.
Walker threw three consecutive incompletions, so on fourth down the Browns add two more sides of beef, bringing in 293-pound backup center Nick Harris and 313-pound backup tackle James Hudson III as “eligible receivers." Walker bumps into Hunt as he hands him the ball. Hunt hits Walker, then hits the bodies at the goal line, then falls across the line. Maybe.
Colts are saying: No. He didn’t cross the goal line.
Now referees are reviewing the play and the Colts defense is bouncing happily, and could it be? Game over? Colts win? Fairy tales, and all that crap?
What do you think.
Insider Nate Atkins: 10 thoughts on Colts' heartbreaking loss to the Browns
Myles Garrett was Superman, or Colts score 50
Not sure this matters, but the Colts offense did look excellent. Yes, against the Browns defense. Yes, with Gardner Minshew II at quarterback.
Yes, with Myles Garrett playing the best game by any defensive player, anywhere, this season.
Put it like this: Garrett had two sacks, forced two turnovers – he stripped Minshew on each sack, and the Browns recovered both – and even hopped over the line of scrimmage to block a 60-yard field goal try by Matt Gay. Look, you’re right, it’s a penalty for an NFL player to use a teammate as a human catapult.
BUT GARRETT DIDN’T NEED HELP. HE JUST JUMPED OVER EVERYBODY.
Yes, I’m shouting. You know why?
BECAUSE MYLES GARRETT IS A DEFENSIVE LINEMAN DOING THAT.
How good was the Colts’ offense, minus those lost fumbles (and an interception) by Minshew? Without Garrett going absolutely bananas, the Colts would’ve scored 50 points against the No. 1 defense in the NFL.
But Garrett did go bananas, bruising a day where Colts rookie receiver Josh Downs made another star turn (five catches, 125 yards, touchdown), and Taylor looked like himself for the first time since missing four games with hurt feelings I mean a hurt ankle. Zaire Franklin had 11 tackles, and Moore had 10 – three for loss – including 1½ sacks. Safeties Julian Blackmon and Rodney Thomas II had interceptions.
And Minshew, whose four turnovers give him eight in the last two games, threw for 305 yards and two touchdowns and ran for 29 yards and two touchdowns, juking a defender on each TD run and having the audacity to shimmy his shoulders in the end zone, like he’s all that. A little later, Pittman had the audacity to throw up the deuces, like he’s all that.
But then Baker was getting handsy and officials were throwing flags and Baker would later tell reporters, “I don’t agree with the penalties at all,” which means the Colts coaching staff is doing a lousy job of teaching.
Head coach Shane Steichen did a lousy job of game-managing, too. He called a passing play that stopped the clock late in the first half, giving the timeout-less Browns time to kick a 54-yard field goal at the horn. And when Steichen had Gay try that field goal from 60 yards, he was protecting his own ego. See, on the previous play from the Cleveland 36, Steichen had called a silly play for tight end Mo Alie-Cox that lost 6 yards – back to the 42. Out of field-goal range.
Steichen said: Nope, we’re still in range. Watch this!
Garrett jumped the line, this 3-4 Colts season is jumping the shark, and we have 10 more games of this – the stadium half-full of home fans, one-quarter full of visiting fans, one-quarter empty. The afternoons are getting colder, the days are getting shorter, but this 2023 season is going to last forever.
But hey, a baby girl was born Sunday at Lucas Oil Stadium. Exploding cigars for everyone.
Find IndyStar columnist Gregg Doyel on Twitter at @GreggDoyelStar or atwww.facebook.com/greggdoyelstar.
This article originally appeared on Indianapolis Star: Colts can't beat Browns, Myles Garrett and officials in 39-38 loss
