I Don't Believe in Work-Life Balance—Just Intentionally Managing My Time

Some days we get the balancing act right. Other days we don’t.

A CEO mom of four shares her insights on work-life balance—or lack thereof.

Illustration:Thodoris Tibilis

I’m going to say it out loud: I don’t believe in work-life balance.

I understand this view is a counterpoint to what many people have focused on for years and perhaps it’s an unpopular one. A simple Google search will show dozens of articles that have tried to teach us how to strive for it, “life hack” it, and perhaps draw an imaginary line in the sand between work and life. This is all well intended advice… but I am left asking: Is this pursuit worthy, productive or even possible? Are we setting ourselves up for failure to focus on complete, daily balance?

My experience as a professional and a mom of four has taught me that striving for balance between the two will only set me up for failure because rarely do they weigh out equally at any given time. Life is never that simple. Instead, I believe there is an intersection of life and work that we have the choice to intentionally manage.

The more intentional we are about curating that intersection and aligning it to our values, the happier and more successful we will feel. Like all human beings, I don’t have the answers to everything. I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to plan out the exact next step through a carefully crafted and perfectly executed plan, trying to control every outcome. What I learned is that it is simply impossible. Life is more enjoyable and less stressful when I let go of the control and let things evolve naturally.

Encourage people to bring their whole selves to work—and lead by example. We are humans and we have flaws, strengths and weaknesses. In life, every day is different. Why is it not the same at work? We don’t need to try to cover up ourselves or pretend to be something we are not.

For all the working moms out there, I say to each of you:

• Be kind to yourself.

• Ask for help.

• Know that you are enough.

• Set boundaries when you need them.

• Take time for yourself.

• Maintain a support network.

• Let go of the need to control outcomes.

• Remember that we are all doing our best.

• Never lose sight of the things that are most important to you.

Teresa Hopke is the CEO of Talking Talent North America.

Courtesy

Every day, I make choices and trade-offs based on what I need, what my family needs, and what my business needs. This is a constant balancing act that I choose to be deliberate and intentional about, recognizing it changes daily.

Some days I get the mix right. Other days I don’t. But over time, I feel good about the sum of my choices and the fact that I was intentional in making them.

The Harvard Business Review noted: “Deliberate choices don’t guarantee complete control. Life sometimes takes over, whether it’s a parent’s dementia or a teenager’s car accident. But many of the executives we’ve studied—men and women alike—have sustained their momentum during such challenges while staying connected to their families.”

So let us not strive for work-life balance, yet let’s focus on intentionally and deliberately managing our time and remaining flexible as it relates to outcomes. I believe we will end up more balanced and happier for it.

Teresa Hopke is the CEO of Talking Talent North America, a global coaching firm that inspires inclusive cultures that allow people and organizations to thrive. A working mother of four, Teresa is committed to creating a more inclusive world for her children and the organizations she serves. Learn more at Talking-Talent.com.