Don’t let Trump and the Florida GOP steal our title. The ‘banana’ belongs to Miami! | Opinion

Singing the same tune from Tallahassee to Miami, the MAGA nation’s reaction to the FBI raid of Donald Trump’s opulent Mar-a-Lago — Banana Republic-style! Third World! — sent me down memory lane.

And, having reviewed the evidence provided by a Banana Republic title search, I’ve got to object.

Bananeros is a card-carrying birthright, a title — a crown — we, in Miami, Gateway to the Americas and the politics of identity, proudly own.

For Banana Republic and Third World, look to our local politics — at least, for as long as Commissioner Joe Carollo runs the city.

You remember this fine example of a Miami Republican. He put the former police chief’s genitalia on display at a City Commission meeting and got him fired. And he orchestrated taking over a multimillion-dollar public art fund to line Bayfront Park with ugly dog and cat sculptures his wife liked in Latin America. The first wife he hit in the head with a teapot.

Over and over again, Little Havana voters choose this bananero, twice elected mayor and dubbed “Crazy Joe.”

Like most of our other bananero local and state politicians, he loves Trump.

READ MORE: FBI searches Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home as inquiry into former president intensifies

Nah, the FBI some Republicans now conveniently want to “defund” doesn’t even come close to Third World status.

So, as Miami’s Willy Chirino sings, we need to tell the GOP: “Mister, don’t touch the banana. The banana belongs to Changó!”

And, to us.

Classic song

The song tells the story of three Americans at a Cuban party who confuse a fruit-laden altar to the orisha deity, the god of thunder, for a buffet spread.

Classics have a long shelf life, and this one from 1991 is a fitting ode for the times.

It made me nostalgic because, back then, when we shimmied and sang to the banana song at the top of our lungs, we, Cuban Americans, including this journalist, had little awareness, outside of elections, about what political party anyone belonged to.

We seemed to be one, yearning for Cuba to be the next domino in the Soviet empire to fall. We protested immigrant deportations. We still had to fight against white American discrimination, even as we were rising — or perhaps, because we were gaining economic and political power.

Others, including journalists, called Miami a Banana Republic as a way to disparage Cuban Americans, especially during the Elián González saga. I defended us, writing a lengthy piece about how the term was a derogatory way to de-legitimize us.

Then came 2016 and the majority among us voted for Vladimir Putin’s friend — and, at his command, turned into immigrant persecutors of immigrants. Likewise, in 2018, we helped elect mini-Trump Ron DeSantis governor of Florida, and now we’re also banning books and denying Black history (past and present).

Trump’s crass presidency, indeed, was made possible by Miami’s Third World politics, as is the fascism running through Florida like a democracy-destroying virus.

Yet, Republicans all over the state, like the americanos in Chirino’s song, are confused about what constitutes a Banana Republic.

MAGA country

Pobrecitos, sheltered as they are in the Panhandle under the spell of “leaders” like Congressman Matt Gaetz (under investigation for allegations of sex trafficking of a minor) and, apparently, also in swanky Palm Beach, where the gigantic MAGA hats worn in the heat of Monday night in support of Trump must muffle ears and muddle comprehension.

Because in banana republics, the probable cause normally needed for a warrant and reviewed by a judge — in this case, Trump likely illegally stashing away classified White House documents at his party house — isn’t needed before entering a home.

And like Trump, in banana republics, leaders — Nicolás Maduro in Venezuela should readily come to mind — steal elections. Trump sanctioned Maduro for it, so why should he and his supporters be surprised that they would face investigation and possible prosecution for attempting to steal an election here? And when that failed, for staging a takeover of the Capitol to stop the ratification of a legitimate vote?

The United States would be a Banana Republic if Trump or any other president were above the law.

Like our Carollo, Trump and DeSantis rule with strongman moves that mimic Third World politics, including fueling conspiracy theories to agitate people. Their whiny statements denouncing a professional law enforcement agency are only projections of their own failures.

“The raid of MAL is another escalation in the weaponization of federal agencies against the Regime’s political opponents, while people like Hunter Biden get treated with kid gloves,” tweeted DeSantis. “Now the Regime is getting another 87k IRS agents to wield against its adversaries? Banana Republic.”

This, from a governor who raided the home of and arrested a fired state data scientist who had questioned his COVID statistics. He, who last week sent sheriffs to the office of the twice-elected Tampa state attorney and kicked him out.

The FBI’s Mar-a-Lago raid is an apt epilogue to the Trump presidency, made possible by Miami and Florida Banana Republic politics.

We are as “Third World” as it gets.