Divorce Lawyer: Engaged Couples Have Two Important Financial Decisions To Make
Getting married is one of the biggest milestones in most people’s lives. It often represents a spiritual and legal union between two individuals. However, not all marriages are picture-perfect. Many relationships are torn apart by a lack of communication or a simple misunderstanding. In order to achieve marital bliss, there are several things you should talk about before you say “I do.”
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GOBankingRates asked divorce lawyer Duane Coker which conversations future spouses should have before they tie the knot. Coker is certified by the Texas Board of Legal Specialization in Family Law and is the founding shareholder of Coker, Robb & Cannon, Family Lawyers, a boutique law firm with offices in Denton, Frisco and Fort Worth, Texas.
Here are the two things he said engaged couples need to discuss before they get married.
Future Family Plans
When asked what engaged couples should be talking about before marriage, Coker said, “As a family law firm that specializes in divorce, we often see the results of what happens when potential spouses don’t discuss certain topics before marriage. While there can be a lot of reasons for divorce, two topics seem to come up often when talking with unhappy spouses.
“First, a lack of discussion regarding future family plans often causes difficulties after marriage. It’s important to talk about whether spouses both want children or don’t want children. If they plan for children, another important discussion is how many and at what time.
“For example, some people want kids very quickly after marriage, especially if they are getting married later in life,” he said. “Other people have parameters in mind like a certain time frame or waiting until the spouses have reached a certain level of financial security. Being on the same page about children is important, especially as there can be a biological clock ticking that might add stress for one or both parties.”
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How Finances and Property Should Be Managed
According to a GOBankingRates survey, over 19% of couples admit that they sometimes argue about financial concerns, and almost 13% responded that they argue about the subject frequently.
Coker explained, “Discussing how each spouse thinks their finances and property should be managed after marriage is extremely important. Financial issues are one of the top causes of friction we hear about when discussing a potential divorce with clients.
“Potential spouses should talk about how they want to manage and share property and income after marriage. Whether or not they live in a community property state, like Texas, they need to discuss if the default laws of the state are consistent with their plans.
“If they aren’t, or if the parties are not sure about how they want things managed in the future, then they should have a detailed discussion with a family lawyer to determine if a premarital or prenuptial agreement might be right for them.”
Why To Consider a Prenuptial Agreement
“While prenuptial agreements can be difficult discussions prior to marriage, as no one wants to think about the possibility of divorce before they even take their wedding vows, these agreements can often eliminate a lot of stress and uncertainty, or perceived unfairness of default family laws, and help spouses avoid one of the most common reasons for divorce,” Coker said.
“Most states now allow for detailed prenuptial agreements and allow the parties to set out exactly how they want their property and income treated during marriage, providing for an outcome during marriage that aligns with the spouse’s goals and desires.”
While open and honest communication may not guarantee a successful marriage, it definitely helps to provide a solid foundation for one. Topics such as how many kids you want, where you want to live and how you view money are critical to avoiding conflict down the road.
In these conversations, however, it is as important to be honest with yourself as it is to be honest with your spouse. Do not claim to be a saver if you spend every dollar you have as soon as you get it. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you are OK not having children if you always imagined a future with a house full of children. Happy marriages are usually built on trust, which requires having real discussions about what you want early and often.
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This article originally appeared on GOBankingRates.com: Divorce Lawyer: Engaged Couples Have Two Important Financial Decisions To Make
